Amusing Personality Types

[katyseagull]

Amusing Personality Types


I’ve met a slew of weird personalities in my life. For instance, at my job - it’s a great place to work and I have some really cool friends there but I have to say, a couple of them just bust me up. Even sitting here thinking about them I’m giggling.


Tell me about an amusing character type you’ve met, either through work or in your personal life, who cracks you up.


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Work Life

“The Anal Office Manager” –
Anyone worked with one of these? - LOL! My anal manager is really something.

He is all business and never seems to chill out, though I believe twice now he has attempted to crack a joke. Painful. Someone please get this guy stoned.

He’s actually a nice guy; just so anal and quirky. When he walks his arms don’t swing much and he usually has his head bent down like he is looking at the floor. He’s not cocky, he's just really, really uptight. The guy is a total introvert and is consumed by his projects. I hate working for him. He’s so picky and precise and tends to launch into long-winded explanations of how things work when I really just don’t want to know. Working for him is exhausting. Frankly, I’ve never met anyone quite like him. When he talks he has a penchant for using very touch-based expressions...stuff like - “this is going to require a lot of hand-holding,” and “see if you can massage the data,” and “let's give him a call and feel him out.” OH MY GOD. It’s all I can do to not giggle every time he does this, which is often.

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Home Life

Where do I start? There are so many to choose from.


"The Insulting Mother Type"
Anyone have one of these? Honestly, I deserve some kind of hug for putting up with this woman. She sends me newspaper clippings with not only the pertinent sentences underlined and starred (yeah you heard me, starred..in red ink) but also with a little hand-written summary of what she wants me to get from each article, attached to it with a paper clip. This could be anything from “How to Make Friends” to “Vitamins Can Be Good For You.” I mean seriously, do I really need to have someone pick out the key sentences for me?

And this one I just don’t get at all - The Giant Underwear thing. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] She bought me giant underwear. What is up with that? I mean really, how insulting can you get? Exactly how big does this woman think my ass is? Is anyone else’s mom like this? I don’t even have a very big ass for christ’s sake!

Lol. I can’t tell you how long my boyfriend and I laughed over this, like doubled over, stomach-hurting laughter. And you would think that she would have some sensitivity towards her daughter's feelings but nooooooo. She wants to just dig and dig and dig. I think she’s trying to break my spirit is what I think! I mean, you're not supposed to go around insulting your kids left and right, are you? What kind of freaky parenting philosophy is this?

There are so many more examples of her being insulting (the yogurt incident, the Christmas money, etc.) but I don't want to overwhelm you.


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Ok, what do you have? Funny personality types that you have come in contact with! Anyone? Anyone?

[Mrs. Utah]

Mid-life Crisis-Female

I work with a woman who is extremely nice and an excellent nurse. She has been there a long time and is very well liked by everybody, staff, doctors and patients.

She is going through what can only be described as the most obvious mid-life crisis its comical and kind of sad.

She is very into how she looks to a point where it has become a problem at work. Some things are quite admirable, she is very into fitness, but is obsessive. Wears ankle weights through her shift, will never sit down...sorry but when I am coming off a 12 hour night shift I would not mind sitting down with my coffee and giving report.

She has had her breasts augmented, makeup tattooed, and hair extensions woven in(and not very good ones-yikes)

Again, her business. It has become become somewhat of a problem for hospital administrators. Dress code specifically. Most of us wear scrubs(I take mine from the hospital cause its a messy job at times). She would rather not and her boobs are all over the place. Works fine in the movies but not terribly practical in real life, especially in Labor and Delivery.

Everything about her has changed, its like she is trying so hard. Likes to tell very inappropriate stories of what she has been doing at different clubs. At times she sounds like my 10 year old,"Like, ya know....?" [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Like I said, her business, but not something you should bring to work. And she does. As much as people like her you have to feel bad because people talk about her. Kind of in shock that its the same person they have known for so many years.

[entertainme]

[ QUOTE ]
She sends me newspaper clippings with not only the pertinent sentences underlined and starred (yeah you heard me, starred..in red ink) but also with a little hand-written summary of what she wants me to get from each article, attached to it with a paper clip.

[/ QUOTE ]

I occasionally receive articles from my Dad in the mail, thankfully without handy summaries and underlining! I know he means well though.

There's no doubt in my mind that my employees consider me an Un-amusing Personality Type at work. Here are tips if you want to work for me:

I'll tell you that you can call me anytime after 9 AM. In reality you'll do much better to avoid speaking to me before noon. Actually I recommend you avoid speaking to me at all if possible.

If you do have to call me, please get to the freakin' point.

In real life I'm a caring reasonable person.

This makes my attitude at work even more confusing to them.

On one hand we pay a decent wage and are willing to be flexible to accomodate the needs of our employees.

On the other hand, I basically want you to go away.

I know it's bad and I seriously need to improve my attitude. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Shadowrun]

kathy and stuey- both have very amusing personality types to me but in a good way.

[pokerspite]

The Person Who Tells You Their Most Pesonal Secrets Two Minutes After You Meet Them

First day I work with this guy we're driving to the job he starts telling me about how in the last town he lived his wife was banging everybody in sight. He said one time he actually walked in on her blowing the town sheriff and the way he got back at her was by masturbating into a kleenex and leaving it on her side of the bed (I thought to myself, Yeah that really showed her). Anyways, he proceeds to tell me that things got so bad for him there he ended up moving like three states away. The bad part was he was still with her. I'm just sitting there thinking WTF dude, how can you be telling me all this? I just met you. If that happened to me I don't think I would tell a soul, even my best friend. And it's not like he was spilling his guts to me to get it off his chest either. It turns out he's done this with everyone at work.

[ScottieK]

The Compulsive Braggar

Just about everyone I know has an acquaintance that fits this description (I know two. No, I'm not bragging about that.) IMO, there is a disctinction between a compulsive liar and a compulsive braggar. With a compulsive liar, you know for a fact that whatever they tell you is grade-A bulls*** and can easily prove it. With a compulsive braggar, things aren't so easy. First, their lies aren't meant to harm or denigrate anyone...they are just meant to elevate the braggar's status in his own mind. Second, their lies are usually very hard to disprove, unless you're Magnum P.I.

A compulsive braggar loves to participate in conversations by playing a never-ending game of one-upmanship. If you just got a $5,000 bonus at work, that's nice. They just got a $7,500 bonus and a 12% raise. If you played football in high school, what a coincidence! They were the star quarterback and got recruited by Notre Dame. If you mention that you're thinking of getting a new car, well wouldn't you know, they just made a down payment on a Ferrari last week.

Most people I know just nod their heads or feign interest when these claims are made. A few people actively try to trap them in a lie with feigned interest. "Oh, can I see your Notre Dame practice jersey?" or "Wow, wanna take me for a ride when you get the keys?" This rarely works in my experience. Compulsive braggars are used to these traps, and they are slippery in evading them. They will always give you some excuse as to why you can't get proof of their wild claims. Either they really didn't want the Ferrari and blew the money in Vegas, or they gave their practice jersey to an ex-gf, or whatever.

The two I know are excellent at just making casual remarks with no hint of joking, so you really never know if they actually buy their own bulls***, or if they're just joking. It's a shame those two friends of mine have never met. That would be awesome.

Compulsive braggars can get very annoying very quickly, or they can be extremely entertaining. Even if a compulsive braggar can show undeniable proof of every claim he makes, bragging just pisses most people off. It's rude. I accept it with my friends as just another harmless personality quirk. They're never demeaning about it. They just like to brag about mostly meaningless stuff, so I let them.

ScottieK

[diebitter]

The Office Letch

These guys are often okay most of the time, but sometimes, they just get on your nerves. I've literally heard these guys mutter under their breath when some attractive girl passes all sort of things like 'what I could do with that' and similar. Even worse when you get 2 together, as they start muttering this stuff to each other.

They're sort of amusing, but the worst of it is when you hear them start, you check out the girl yourself to see what they're talking about.

[JJNJustin]

The Abusive Authority

Usually a younger person in a position of authority who vents his/her personal problems by unfairly enforcing the rules or by unfairly punishing people he/she has authority over. I hate this type of person and on occasion has caused me to get near violent.

The Lesbian Gym Teacher

Nothing bad about this person except for they display so many male characteristics such as short, unstylish hair, jeans, lack of make-up, etc, that sometimes I forget they are actually females.

-J

[GambleGamble]

[ QUOTE ]
The Abusive Authority

Usually a younger person in a position of authority who vents his/her personal problems by unfairly enforcing the rules or by unfairly punishing people he/she has authority over. I hate this type of person and on occasion has caused me to get near violent.


[/ QUOTE ]

Much worse than his is

The Non Compliant Employee

People who break every rule, from break times, to lunch times, to work standards, and everytime someone in authority points it out its always "Dont be a hater" "come on, everyone does it" or just straight out lip and insubordiation...and then you have to go through sixteen stages of write ups/disciplanry action so they can be termed with cause and it wont come back to bite you, when instead I wish we could just kill them....

[AntonHeat]

I have to ask..

What is the purple deal?