your most embarrassing story ever

[tagtastic]

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If I remembered all the retarded and embarassing stuff I've done I'd cut my fingers. Luckily I've been too wasted every time to remember anything [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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Saaaaame here. As far as I'm concerned all these stories from my friends about me doing crazy stuff, minus clothing plus pee, are just made up.

[jstill]

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"what lovely 'vampire teeth' you have"
Yeah my friend is still pissed at me over that, [censored].

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dude this is priceless, i really cant stop laughing when i think about saying that to a girl

my worst pick up line ever was to a girl at a party i walked up and said " red trash barrel huh? u dont see those too often" she stared at me for a few seconds w/o saying a word then i just walked away.

[DMoogle]

Not really sure about my *most* embarrassing story, but whenever I think about this I think about what I total moron I was.

I play free poker tournaments at a tavern/restaurant/bar nearby, and have done so since I was 16. The atmosphere there is really good, and I've made a lot of friends (even though I was pretty much the only person under 21), which is why I keep playing (that and, because of all the gift certificates I've won, I've never had to pay for any food besides the tip). It always have a great time, and it's a great place.

Anyway, back when I WAS 16, during the break time in the middle of the tournament, some girl came up to me and asked if I'd like to buy her a drink. Being 16 and not being able to purchase alcohol for another five years, I was flattered, but I had no idea what to say. I ended up telling her something like I don't have any money and was just there to play poker. It felt REALLY awkward just standing there, as she said "Oh", and looked disappointed as she walked away.

[Jiggymike]

Unfortunately I'm not the type of person to get myself into terribly embarassing situations but I'll list a couple that stick out in my mind.

In 8th grade (middle or junior high school where I'm from) I remember one time I was eating lunch with a bunch of my friends in the school cafeteria. I had a cold and I was all congested but you know, no big deal. Anyhow one of my friends makes me laugh over something while I am drinking, and I have to clench my mouth/throat in order to prevent myself from spitting all over everyone. In doing so I sort of "laugh out of my nose" and instead of milk (or whatev) a ton of snot just pours out of my nose in hideous fashion and I have to sop it up as quickly as possible with a brown paper bag.

Other, more recent one is pretty fun. Summer of 2005 I was in the western desert of China of field work with grad school. We were totally in the wilderness, camping out, but the workers but together a cook shed where the cook could make us food and we could all hang out, basically it was just a bunch of plywood boards nailed together, handy for staying out of the rain and sun. On the last night, the Chinese workers get my colleague and I (both first timers) totally hammered by making us drink bai jou (Chinese liquor that tastes like anise and burns from your lips to your stomach) and just doing shot after shot of beer (GAMBE! They were like little toasts with 4 oz dixie cups of beer). After a while I get pretty drunk and go outside to puke but I don't actually puke, instead I go pass out in a ditch for a few. Then I come back and start drinking more and at this point I more or less black out, all I remember is my advisor telling me that passing out in a ditch is "Not very manly" and that I started chain smoking cigarettes (I like never smoke). Then I go pass out outside AGAIN. My colleague, another grad student, goes outside and pukes so hard that he ends up [censored] his pants and wanders off to his tent to bury his underwear/clean up. While he's doing this, one of the Chinese grad students goes over to him to tell him what a great time he's had, so my friend is like hiding himself behind his tent flap with his pants down (this is just second hand, I am totally blacked out at this point). In any case, I get up and just start puking everywhere, I vaguely remember one of the workers patting me on the back while I'm just throwing up like crazy. The only other memory I have of the night is being carried back to my tent like a dead body by my grad school advisor and the art director from National Geographic who was on vacation with us while screaming "Take me to the hospital in Urumuqi! (the closest city about 6 hrs away) I need to go to the hospital!" whith my advisor telling me "That's not very realistic, Michael, we're just going to put you in your tent." I was moaning in my tent all night and still puking the next day, including puking up a massive Pepto Bismol puke that attracted every fly in the desert.

tl;dr: One had a gallon of snot come out of my nose at school, other story went to China on fieldwork and got ridiculously drunk in the field, blacked out, puked like crazy and had to be carried to tent by my advisor and a higher up of National Geographic magazine.

[sippin_criss]

Probably the time I was 14 or 15 and my Dad was driving me to the golf course and we were rushing to make my tee time. Right before I got there I sharted and totally had a shart mark on my pants for the entire round but nobody said anything.

[kyleb]

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Probably the time I was 14 or 15 and my Dad was driving me to the golf course and we were rushing to make my tee time. Right before I got there I sharted and totally had a shart mark on my pants for the entire round but nobody said anything.

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that is just ridiculous lol

[MFpoker]

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Probably the time I was 14 or 15 and my Dad was driving me to the golf course and we were rushing to make my tee time. Right before I got there I sharted and totally had a shart mark on my pants for the entire round but nobody said anything.

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HAHA! This is the part where I blackmail you...

If you don't send me money on FTP I'll tell everyone on all of the SnGs you multi-table incessantly your dirty little secret!!!

DO IT OR THE KID GETS IT!

[sonneti]

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In doing so I sort of "laugh out of my nose" and instead of milk (or whatev) a ton of snot just pours out of my nose in hideous fashion and I have to sop it up as quickly as possible with a brown paper bag.

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lol this happened a girl in my primary 1 class, she sneezed and emptied both barrels it was like silly string pumping out of her nose.

I was horrified, I had to run away...

[NUTZ IN YA MOUTH]

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...rue#Post9645101

[Omniheart]

let see drank too much, blacked out, got video taped, fell down broke my leg,was abused by friends. cops came, everyone else ran except me. I was never found. Was alone in the house screaming in pain. Video was put up online. had to get ankle surgery. gained 40 lbs from that but started playing poker.