Sushi, Whores and Lotto (Trip Report...long)

[Ban Dright]

no ban

[frinxor]

I voted bastard only because I thought people would surely vote no ban (which is what i wanted to vote for). Oops, cya in two weeks lol

[n.s.]

I like how everyone rags on this guy for not banging the 16 yr olds or posting pics, but everyone glosses over the fact that he very nearly killed a motorcycle rider.

OP - you are a [censored] [censored].

[IronDragon1]

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[20:32] thef0urseas0ns: I didnt say I hated chinks, or the chinks made good sushi

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Good save dude!

[ohead]

no [censored] way did he eat 80 pieces of sushi if they weren't microscopically small.

[f it]

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I want to rub my dick on teenage boys. Driving home, I'm in the passenger seat of my friend's car, and see his dick. I grab it while driving down the road and swing it at a motorcycle driver on the highway going about 60mph and yell "FOR SPARTA", he almost crashes, but luckily manages to maintain his balance. We get stopped at a redlight where we see a fat chick in a convertible next to us, I stick his dick out and tell her that im gay for it.

We got back to my friends house and his grandpa gave all of us $20 for helping out with the move. We had worked up quite an appetite for [censored] so we went to the first gay strip club we could find. Let me say, this was theb best $600 I've spent in my entire life. There was a myriad of gay dick engulfing that three-roomed restaurant. Walking in there was comparable so a soldier going to a strip club seeing boobies for the first time in 3 years, with a big gay twist. My whole life, up to this point, I had been a complete strip club n00b, but I learned quickly. I jumped straight over to the back room and laid down a hundo to give a BJ to this twinky azn with a 9 inch dick, holla. By the end of our hour there, I had close to maybe 80 grams of semen. I'm a pretty small guy (6'1 155 pounds), so I was bloated. My phone rings...its this one [censored] i know...

"Hey marty its (insert male name here). I'm in town from Iowa and I wanted to know if you wanted to join me and suck on my big gay dick."
"sure I'll be there"

I squeeze my buttcheeks together because gay [censored] like that makes me hella horny. We leave and head back to my friends house where fondle each other's nuts before heading out for the evening's adventure.

I wake up around 6.30 when a friend calls me and asks if I'm going, I tell him yes, and we offer him a ride. Our party of 14 gets there and much to my dismay we see my french teacher. Of all people in the world, she is honestly the person I dislike the most... mainly because she has a vagina.

So some [censored] come and introduce themselves and I decide that im going to go all out. I inform them that i would like to try sucking 3 dicks at one time. This would be the first time i had ever tried done 3... 2 was my previous best. After long deliberation one of the asian guys busts out a 12 inch spiked strap-on and I am pumped in the ass. I realize that this is an authentic asian when he sticks chop sticks in my butt. Im all about recognizing international culture, but honest to god those flimsy pieces of wood only slowed me down. I looked around the room to survey who was there, and decided there was nobody there who I needed to impress. I started using my hands but the chopsticks kept falling out of my ass. I yell for one of the nearby [censored] and tell and that due to my cultural ineptitude I needed a fork, he obviously knew what ineptitude meant as i was being [censored] in the ass with forks shortly thereafter. I scarfed down the cum in a hurry, and I was extra careful to savor the exquisite taste. That was honestly the best meal I had had in my life. After the asian had climaxed in my mouth people were just messing around and said something about some stuff called "Wasabi". Ghana tells me he doesnt think I can eat a giant glob of Wasabi. Being naive, and thinking I had something to prove, I placed his dick on my face and told him to let me have it. Ghana began to masturbate furiously and started to convulse and screamed WASABIIIIIII right before covering my face with his man-butter. Ghana obviously lied to me, I chewed the Wasabi and swallowed and it felt like any other cum lol. I downed it sticking out my tongue with pride, but when I stuck my tongue back into my mouth, I had a surprise waiting for me, the remnants that were not swallowed the first time focused right under my tongue. I refused to drink anything to show off my he-man abilities to the group of [censored].

We left the restaurant and as I'm walking towards the gas station some girls roll down their window and call me over.

"Yo, here's $2 bucks, go buy some magnums real quick and we'll head back to our place"
"What are magnums?"
"lol good one. Just go buy them, hurry up"

Confused, I run in and buy food for the girls instead of "magnums". I give the girls their food, and as I'm standing outside of their car talking to them, out of nowhere they pass me a blunt. I sort of pause and give them a dumbfounded look, they tell me to "take a hit of it, it's laced with something special" I reply with..

"I'm sorry ladies, but i am a gigantic tool. The only thing i smoke is gay [censored]."

Not wanting to stop in their juvenile efforts to corrupt me, they tell me I can hop in the back of their car and ride back to their place with them for a "little get-together", they promised it would be a lot of fun. Not wanting to have wet pussy oozing on my penis I decided to pass up on this generous offer. Chubs, Gangsta and Ghana ask me what the hell just happened. I told it's official, I am a flaming homosexual.

Beat: i didnt suck every dick at the party
Brag: WASABIIIIIIIIIII
Variance: girls lol

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FYP

[Runkmud]

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I like how everyone rags on this guy for not banging the 16 yr olds or posting pics, but everyone glosses over the fact that he very nearly killed a motorcycle rider.

OP - you are a [censored] [censored].

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[Josem]

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everyone glosses over the fact that he very nearly killed a motorcycle rider.

OP - you are a [censored] [censored].

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i thought that trying to kill someone was worth more than a two week ban.

[StarkNaked]

OP: OMG, what university do you ladies go to?
Hos: LOL we're 16. Have some weed laced with something special (probably tobacco). We'll show you fun time.
OP: No wei, if I bang you they'll ban me for not having pics of you on BBV.

This thread is worthless without pix !

[private joker]

I think you guys are being too harsh on OP. It's an entertaining read. A lot of your favorite movies have jerks as protagonists, and you celebrate those films and watch them over and over. But when a story on the internets has a jerk for a protagonist you get all moral and whiny. Shut up.

Not only was it funny, but it had this great line:

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for a few short seconds I felt as baller as an 18 year old highschool student could feel, without having sex with a 16yr old.

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Which foreshadowed a later event in which said protagonist would indeed pass up the chance to be baller enough to screw a pair of 16 yr-olds.

I think the ban should be 3 days (it was still a pretty racist story I mean Jesus dude) but I applaud the writing and laugh at the hypocrisy of the armchair critics littering this thread.

That is all.