What is Parenthood Like? (only for older OOTers)

[HugoM]

it's a nightmare. your freedom is gone and you're tired all the time. having said that, i love my baby daughter so that makes up for all the crap.

[BigSoonerFan]

[ QUOTE ]
Having children is why you're here.

You're likely never too young and you'll likely never have too many kids.

[/ QUOTE ]

It isn't the reason we're here, other than biologically, and there's a lot of people who would make the world better off by not having kids! The reason we're really here has more to do with just bearing children.

There isn't anything better than holding your children, playing with them or just sometimes watching them. That doesn't mean you can't do other things or that you shouldn't want to do other things sometimes, but it's all planned with the children in mind (for good parents).

Your life changes. I quit golf for five years because of the time involved with my kids (only starting to play again once my oldest started playing). The older they get, the less time they'll need for daily "maintenance", but the more time they'll need for extracurricular activities.

[FishNChips]

Hugo's response seems the most honest and closest to my experience. I have a 2-1/2 yr old daughter and an 8mo old son. Our daughter had colic when she was an infant (2mo to 7mo) which means that she cried ALL THE FREAKING TIME and we could not console her. Basically 5 months of crying. She's now an amazing little girl with more energy than you can imagine. Our son is a cute, cuddly littly ball.

I love them both and would give my life up for them without thinking about it. they are an aweful lot of fun. The greatest 30seconds of my day are when I walk in the door and my daughter shouts "Daddys Home!!!!!!!" and then my son smiles at me. Laying on the bed and reading to my daughter before she goes to sleep is something I treasure and look forward to every day. Holding my son and watching the son come up is an amazing thing and I wish it would last forever.

But they are exhausting. My wife and I get about 1 or 2 hours by ourselves every day. And that is dinner / dishes / talk about family business (which will hopefully slow down since we sold our house and are now in escrow for a new one - but there's always something to talk about) / and then we get to talk about how WE are doing. Kids take everything that you can give them and then usually a little more.

I would have them both again, but I wish someone had warned me about how tiring it would be.

FishNChips

[kibble420]

[ QUOTE ]
Having children is why you're here.


[/ QUOTE ]

Not I.

Six billion humans is enough for this planet, IMO.

[JayLear]

I'm 36 and have an 11 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. It's like anything else. There's good and bad, boring and exciting, pride and shame, happy and sad, etc. My kids are getting older, so I've definitely seen some of the initial challenges pass, but the new challenges don't get any easier. The old cliche that the grass is always greener applies in this aspect of life. My wife and I sometimes daydream about the things we could have if we weren't parents, whether it be freedom, or nicer cars, or more lavish and/or frequent vacations. You miss the days when you had the freedom to come and go as you wished, but there are aspects of this portion of my life that are so rewarding that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[PnuggPnugg]

Just curious, do you really not care about the perspectives of OOTers under 30 who have kids?

[aramfingal]

[ QUOTE ]
Nothing will ever compare to the feeling of Maury saying "you are not the father."

[/ QUOTE ]

[hyde]

Three kids. Now 17-22 years old.
I ( and they unknowingly) are damned glad I waited to 35 to have the first one. It takes more maturity than I had in my 20's.
the good news is I stopped partying, my language improved, my income increased, I got healthier.
For 22 years I have stopped and thought of someone else before acting.
I believe kids owe their parents nothing. We brought them into the world and owe them a proper raising.
And I believe parents owe their kids nothing at an age of maturity, 20 or so.
And that is not as adversarial as it may sound, nor as cut and dried. Just a statement of responsibility.
Children are an absolute joy. and a 24/7 responsibility for the first 10 years or so. Freedom....roflmao
You can not truly understand unconditional love until you have a child.
Middle child was a challenge, pm me if you need a good boot camp, but in retrospect even the pain and agony and attorneys' fees held lessons in life for everyone. We are even laughing at some of the stuff he did. Not in front of him yet....and not all of it.
I am looking forward to the coming freedom.
I do not regret a minute.

[Lottery Larry]

Yes.




(seriously)

[TobDog]

I am 35, wife and I have 4 children, they are all 7 and under, so the school thing/after school thing is new. If your looking for reasons either way here ya go:

If you are a giving person, you will enjoy it much, you get to help and watch them grow, you also get to see why your parents tore their hair out at the simple things you did that didnt seem so bad. When you are older, you will have a family to look forward to, wife has family members that never had kids, and while they enjoyed the family they had, they said they always felt like the family functions are for the parents/kids/grandparents/etc aunts and uncles are a little more 'outside', hard to explain unless you know the exact feeling. There are many more, cant think of any at the moment.

Against: if you are a person that is into doing things you like, children will change that in you, financial burden, time burden, if you dont think you can handle this(be very realistic) you will be resentful.

tobdog