Asking a girl out from class

[SoloAJ]

DGS,

Like most girls our age, she just doesn't know what she wants. Unless you plan to dupe her into sex and hope she sparks feelings there....you might as well not even worry about this girl anymore. If she REALLY wants to hang out with you, she'll bring it up again....

[goofyballer]

God, girls are [censored] annoying. Reading what she said made me angry. Tell her to let you know if she changes her mind and forget about her.

I mean what the [censored] does that mean? When the [censored] does a girl not want to have a boyfriend? Every [censored] time I walk around school and hear girls talk on their cell phones or whatever it's about one of two things:
- Talking [censored]/gossiping about friends behind their backs
- Talking about guys

"My life is really hectic right now"? [censored] slap her for me.

[DGS86]

Hah, yea pretty much... She called me while I was in class but I didnt answer it. She didnt leave a voicemail so not too worried about it, if she wants to call back then fine, but I don't plan on calling her about it.

I just wish she could either be a little more honest to herself and decide wtf she wants, or be a little more honest to me and stop stringing me along. I'm just going to let it go for now, she told me once she finishes one or two of her papers she'd have a lot more time but i'm not putting too much faith in that.

Hah and yea goofy, i feel the same way. I think she is just confused as to who she wants as a boyfriend more than she doesnt want one. I kinda have a feeling that maybe her boyfriend did something to make her mad between the time I first met her, and they made up by time I asked her out... but thats just me umm... trying to use logic on a topic that obviously can't be solved with logic.

[johnnybeast9]

Well, I just read this thread from start to finish. Interesting stuff. I was even so inspired to respond that I made an account here (lol).

I'm also a college-aged male who was in a situation almost identical to yours roughly one year ago. Like your girl, mine was very mysterious about the whole boyfriend thing (it turns out she had one...he lived in Germany or something). To make a long story short, I analyzed the situation just as you have been doing and got absolutely NOWHERE. The whole ordeal consumed literally months of my dating life - months that could have been much better spent going for different girls.

That being said, you should 100% drop this girl altogether. You are doing yourself a huge disservice and creating so much unneccesary anxiety. I can gather from reading your posts that your interest in her is entirely for a relationship. Talking on the phone for hours? Doing homework together? Getting set-up with her friend? It should be painfully obvious by now that she considers you "just" a friend. You are far, far into the "friend zone" (I really hate that term, but it is what it is) now. A study was done awhile back that showed how women make a clear judgement about their romantic interest in a man within the first few minutes of meeting them. Unfortunately, you and I were probably categorized as "friends" from the get-go.

If you are really hung up on this girl, go ahead and take on e more shot...but DO IT RIGHT. As the poster above said, make it clear that you are asking her on a DATE DATE DATE.

So what if things don't work out? Do you really want to be with a girl who is sending such mixed signals and completely indecisive? The fact that she is constantly busy is also a huge relationship-killer.

Bottom line: you don't need to deal with this, brotha. Believe you me!

[SuperUberBob]

Give it up. She doesn't know what she wants and is just yanking you around.

Life's too short to deal with that [censored].

[Pryme72]

Honestly, I don't think he's in the friend zone. Seems to me like she's generally interested except she's hung up with a past dude in her life. Also, when she invited the friend along on your initial get-together this was probably so she wouldn't feel to awkward and to intimidated by being out alone with you. Maybe she just wasn't ready?

I think the correct approach in asking her out one on one would be to avoid giving her the option of answering yes or no. Next time you see her after a bit of chit chat and some jokes just say, "So where do you want me to take you this weekend?" She'll probably stutter a bit and be like "well...I don't know it's just..blah blah." If she gives you another excuse you could say something along the lines of, "Oh well that's to bad I really enjoyed the time we spent together at the (arcade) and I was looking forward to making you laugh some more." She will giggle, smile, and you'll have her at the palm of your hands. Then say, "By the way, I know there's probably another guy in your life who hasn't been treating you well but trust me, if you give me the opportunity I'll show you how a beautiful girl like you deserves to be treated. So I'll tell you what, you give me a call when you're ready for that, alright?" Kiss her on the cheak and walk away.

You will have her mind racing and your phone will be ringing like crazy in no time.

This approach does several things. It let's her know that you are interested in a romantic relationship and do not just want to be friends. It is also imperative that you call her beautiful or some other compliment. Girls love this. Be confident and you'll be good.

[SoloAJ]

[ QUOTE ]
She'll probably stutter a bit and be like "well...I don't know it's just..blah blah." If she gives you another excuse you could say something along the lines of, "Oh well that's to bad I really enjoyed the time we spent together at the (arcade) and I was looking forward to making you laugh some more." She will giggle, smile, and you'll have her at the palm of your hands.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is almost positively incorrect. She will go "whatever, dude I don't care about at all."

She will not giggle unless she is really really interested. She just will be apathetic toward his remark. This isn't some sort of DeGrassi Junior High episode, girls don't always get giggly when ANY boy approaches them.

[Pryme72]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She'll probably stutter a bit and be like "well...I don't know it's just..blah blah." If she gives you another excuse you could say something along the lines of, "Oh well that's to bad I really enjoyed the time we spent together at the (arcade) and I was looking forward to making you laugh some more." She will giggle, smile, and you'll have her at the palm of your hands.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is almost positively incorrect. She will go "whatever, dude I don't care about at all."

She will not giggle unless she is really really interested. She just will be apathetic toward his remark. This isn't some sort of DeGrassi Junior High episode, girls don't always get giggly when ANY boy approaches them.

[/ QUOTE ]

True, I'm sure that response will not be exact but I just believe it's better to be different when asking out a girl instead of flat out asking. She's probably been asked before but a different approach should get the job done.

[MoistToes]

You have spent way too much time thinking about this girl. You have probably already lost. The only hope you have at this point is to brush her off a bit in class until she becomes interested in what you are doing and starts asking you out, at which time you should be too busy to bother with her.

The best way for you to find a girlfriend in college is to not look for one. Girls don't want to be in the club that would have them for a member. Next time you have a conversation with her ask her her opinion about dating a stripper, or mention the party you were at last night with this girl who was dancing on a table and how hot she was...(Hopefully you will be telling the truth.) Either way I guarantee she will look at you in a new light and whatever shocked front she puts up you will be immediately in the realm of someone she wants because it appear as if she can't have you.

If you are involved in painful introspection about what to say to a girl in class who probably has a boyfriend you are placing some unknown chick on a pedestal. Not only does she not deserve this amount of time you are setting yourself up for failure.

You only have yourself to blame if you continue with this approach. You will end up being the guy she calls to cry to when her boyfriend in the next town is caught screwing some other chick. In addition you will be then be the guy she blows off on a date when Mr. Cool comes for a visit to apologize and bangs the crap out of her.

Getting what you want is a lot easier than what you think. Don't think so much and enjoy yourself and good things will happen.

[zac7179]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She'll probably stutter a bit and be like "well...I don't know it's just..blah blah." If she gives you another excuse you could say something along the lines of, "Oh well that's to bad I really enjoyed the time we spent together at the (arcade) and I was looking forward to making you laugh some more." She will giggle, smile, and you'll have her at the palm of your hands.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is almost positively incorrect. She will go "whatever, dude I don't care about at all."

She will not giggle unless she is really really interested. She just will be apathetic toward his remark. This isn't some sort of DeGrassi Junior High episode, girls don't always get giggly when ANY boy approaches them.

[/ QUOTE ]


Then if she gigges he will at least know where he stands so he can make a move if she is interested and if she isn't he can move on.