More on being lazy and smart and being a fair but not extreme success

[JaredL]

limon,

Could you describe immersion therapy. I looked around on google and couldn't really find anything. Wikipedia came up pretty empty as well. Just the very general, basica idea is all I'm looking for, though if you know websites with more detail that would be good.

[limon]

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limon,

Could you describe immersion therapy. I looked around on google and couldn't really find anything. Wikipedia came up pretty empty as well. Just the very general, basica idea is all I'm looking for, though if you know websites with more detail that would be good.

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its also known as exposure therapy.

[Happenstance]

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Happenstance,

Interesting.

Just curious what you're doing for a living now, if you don't mind.

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I'm in the economic consulting group of a big 4 accounting firm.

[Anacardo]

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Happenstance,

Interesting.

Just curious what you're doing for a living now, if you don't mind.

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I'm in the economic consulting group of a big 4 accounting firm.

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Y'know, like those survey groups at the mall where they put you in a room with some other people and a one-way mirror? Pays five bucks. Pretty sweet.

[Howard Treesong]

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It's 'why should I wish to live,' in this forum.

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Unless your malaise has infected your sense of humor, that must have been deliberate. nh, sir: it's why I like you despite your tendency to overintellectualize.

[thedorf]

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What can people like me do to stop the cycle?

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I think the reason you haven't stopped the cycle is that you don't want to. I don't know you're situation and don't want to be harsh, but let me just take the overweight problem for example. By staying overweight, you get to do a lot of things that are important to you. Like eating the way you want instead of eating in a way that would help you lose weight. Like doing fun, leisure activities instead of running yourself into a sweaty exhaustion.

It's 4 below zero in wisconsin right now where i'm writing. I WANT to be in Puerto Rico on a golf course (not with limon) right now.....well, actually I really don't because if i did, I would be. I have enough money and I live about 10 minutes from an airport and it would take me a minute or two to book the flight. So, if I really wanted to go, I just would. See, what i really want to do is take care of my son. I want to take out the garbage in the morning. I want my wife to be happy.

Being overweight allows you to keep doing the things that are important to you. You wouldn't have a lot of those things if you were at a much lower weight.

Put it this way. If I gave you a billion dollars to lose whatever amount of weight would get you to your goal, would you?

[dankhank]

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If you dont go to medical school, there are a line of Indian dudes waiting to take your place. The world will have just as many doctors if you are sitting on a beach in Goa then if you went to medical school.


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i can see myself using this point for a long, long time when someone asks me if i am wasting my life playing poker.

very few people end up doing exceptional things that some other go-getter wouldn't/couldn't have done in their place.

[Jigsaws]

I recognize the 'smart but lazy' pattern. However, I can be intensely motivated. I've done many different things obsesssively. So I don't think of myself as lazy. Rather, I have realized I do not care about the things I am lazy about. I recently quit college for the second time. I've decided I will not be returning, nor will I be trying to start a traditional career. I will be settling for a 'mediocre', under-achieving life, but one I am happy with. I've realized I don't care about many of the things I should care about, so why bother with them?

[kyleb]

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What can people like me do to stop the cycle?

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Like someone else said in this thread, it's easy to just not do things.

If there is one thing I have learned from my various personal trainers and baseball coaches, it is this:

Pain equals integrity.

I'm not talking about arm pain and overthrowing to the point of surgery, or anything - I'm talking about mental pain, the pain that you experience when you have to pass on fast food because you're restricting yourself to 2000 calories a day, the pain you experience when you have to skip out on a movie because you are going to the gym 5 days a week, and the pain you feel when you are legging out the last of the 2 miles you promised yourself you would run - even though no one would notice if you stopped, now would they?

The last part should perfectly illustrate my point. Be accountable to yourself. Strive to be something better. Show some integrity.

EDIT: I used to be able to identify with your viewpoint, to be honest. However, when I would say things like you, and say how intelligent I am, it took a college professor of economics to look me in the face and tell me "Intelligence without application is worthless. Are you worthless?"

EDIT2: Also, as you said - you have never experienced failure as an everyday activity. I, too, had this problem. You can control this factor; you're just not challenging yourself enough for the sake of wanting to be comfortable.

[JaBlue]

I have to agree that I think this "fear of success" business is a load of crap. It seems much more likely to me that you just don't care about "success." I've always felt that will showed desire, and that if you really wanted something, you [censored] go for it. Its not a problem if you dont want something, but I'd imagine it'd be disheartening to convince yourself that you do when you don't.

Also I agree that maybe you are not as smart as you think you are. I know people with your habits that get much better grades. Not trying to be harsh, but the quicker that you accept that natural talent isn't enough to get the things you claim you want, the better.

And besides, so what if you're smart? That don't mean [censored].