More on being lazy and smart and being a fair but not extreme success

[cjmewett]

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the only things I cared about were Dungeons & Dragons, books about Stonewall Jackson, reinjuring myself daily at football practice and banging the chick down the street? (Remarkably, these elements have coexisted within the same lifestyle.)

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'Cardo -- I kind of like you again. [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[Anacardo]

It's 'why should I wish to live,' in this forum.

[Happenstance]

JaredL:

My path doesn't sound much different from yours. Breezed through HS, college, and even most of grad school without very much effort (got a PhD in econ from one of the schools you applied to). Never got top grades, but always did well enough, being able to "turn it on" when required. Rather than study, I spent my time playing games, watching tv, browsing the web, partying, etc.

Why didn't I work harder? Sometimes I wonder what accomplishments I could have achieved if I hadn't been so "lazy." But the simple truth is that I didn't work harder because I didn't want to. It's trite, but true. I think that subconsciously, we (meant generically) are very adept at being able to maximize our own utility; labor vs leisure. We just don't often want to admit, to ourselves or the public, our true preferences. I think there's strong social pressure in America to "work hard."

I don't know if this makes me mediocre, but I'm happy with my life. If you're not, is it because you're not doing what you think you're supposed to be doing, or because you're not doing what you WANT to be doing?

[JaredL]

Happenstance,

Interesting.

Just curious what you're doing for a living now, if you don't mind.

[SlowHabit]

It's easier to accept failure (and to compensate our egos) if we can use the "I did well in xxxxx even though I was lazy and didn't use much effort" excuse.

Clearly, slightly better than "well" is all you can achieve even if you put a lot of effort into it, but why do so at the expense of our self-value when we can put in half effort and feel twice as good.

[LearnedfromTV]

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Do those of you who relate to the OP + Anacardo expect to get over this?

To me it just seems like it gets much worse as I get older, and I long ago decided to start slacking off on my attempts to stop slacking off.

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Yes, I do expect to get over it. I think I'll look back at the yearlong period from ~ June 06-June 07 as the time when I got over it.

I've spent much of my life surrounded by a lot of people who think I've accomplished a lot, and that has always been much of the justification my lazy, scared side used to slow down my ambitious side. It did get worse as I got older, for a while. But now I have reached a point where I avoid the kind of people who are easily impressed; my wife and closest friends know my ambitions and hold me accountable, and the other people I know are the kind of people who truly couldn't give a [censored] that I got a 1600 and went to Harvard and blah blah blah. This isn't entirely my doing; adults are less easily impressed than high school and college kids.

I used to act like and tell myself that I hated the surface stuff that people latched onto to say "He's so smart he doesn't even have to try," but the truth is I let that mentality affect me, and I was a Mickelson rather than a Tiger. I wanted to be the the best, and not only the best, but so good I didn't have to work hard to be the best. The reason I didn't treat basketball the same way is that I was never as good an athlete as a student; I always knew I had to work to play ball at a high level, and I couldn't act like I was a Michael Vick there like I could with school.

Today I honestly hate that whole mentality and I feel like I'm at a crossroads between having a mediocre, worthless, could-have-been life and one I will be proud of. And the best part is, except for my closest friends and family, no one cares any more if I succeed. There's no more laziness comfort zone. To all acquaintances who I went to school with, who contributed to building these expectations of greatness in me, whether I'm actually doing anything worthwhile is a one sentence footnote in their lives.

So Noah, my answer to your question is that I think you'll reach a point a few years from now when you realize you only have one life and it is entirely up to you whether you make the most of it. Right around then, you'll narrow in on the things you care about most and you'll do them 100%. The fact that you're thinking about this now makes me believe that time will come sooner rather than later.

[LearnedfromTV]

By the way I think Vick is the best sports analogy for this syndrome. I like that it's hard to predict how that one will turn out. In three years he could be anything from a super bowl winner to no longer an NFL starting QB.

[NoahSD]

Thanks, man. That's very reassuring.

[limon]

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limon writes:

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a good place to find out is online poker. anyone on this site whose obviously studied advanced poker strategy who cant beat both the limit and nl games for at least $1500 a weak over a year period probably doesnt have synaptic capability to enter the top .5%.

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Do you not think poker involves other personal characteristics that strongly influence the liklihood of someone attaining the modest goal you laid out?

-J

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Close to 100% of posters on this forum are capable of this. I would add that it has to be in under 25 hours per week, and I'm sure the vast majority of posters are capable of that as well.

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ya think? you must not read the forums much, and capable is much different than actual.

[limon]

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limon writes:

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a good place to find out is online poker. anyone on this site whose obviously studied advanced poker strategy who cant beat both the limit and nl games for at least $1500 a weak over a year period probably doesnt have synaptic capability to enter the top .5%.

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Do you not think poker involves other personal characteristics that strongly influence the liklihood of someone attaining the modest goal you laid out?

-J

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sure but this is a poker website so its the only thing we all have in common that can be easily measured. id wager that most of the winers around here have not/will not attain this modest goal even though theyre SURE that they are CAPABLE of it. then they will continue to whine about how they cant meat girls, cant get out of their rut, cant afford meds...yadayadayada