On Changing your Life

[adsman]

A number of participants in this forum seem to fall into that slightly tricky age-group just after leaving school. Where you want to make changes but aren’t sure how. Where you want to make changes but don’t know what to change. I thought that maybe a few of us slightly older posters could share our own experiences with the younger set. Maybe they can learn from our mistakes, or see how easy it can be to effect change. It can be difficult when you aren’t sure and you receive conflicting advice as well as pressure to conform to the social norms. So here is how I changed my life.

I grew up in Perth, Western Australia. I breezed through school without doing any work and dropped out of college early on as I couldn’t see the point of getting a degree just for the sake of having a degree. I didn’t know what I wanted to do and I figured that I would do a degree when I was 100% interested and committed to it. I still don’t know what to do by the way.

I worked in bars and clubs, played in bands, acted and a bunch of other stuff. But I wasn't really doing anything that I found worthwhile. And I hadn't experienced anything new or different. Along the way I found a very cool inner-city pad and I started decking it out. I was 22. At one point I ordered a $2500 couch. Now this is 14 years ago. That was an expensive couch. I didn’t really have the money to pay for it but I wanted to get something that would last. At one point I remember being in my apartment and suddenly thinking, ‘what the feck am I doing? I’m ordering a $2500 couch? I’m 22. Why do I want to set myself up here to trap myself? I haven’t even seen another city in my life.’

A bit of a panic attack. Two days later I got a phone call from the couch store. The fabric that I ordered wasn’t available. What did I want to do? I told them to cancel the order. I took it as a sign from the universe. ‘You want to back out kid? OK. Here’s your chance. Now what are you going to do?’

I had a girlfriend. We had been together for a few months. She was older than me and incredibly hot. Way above my station. She decided to move to Sydney to pursue a modeling career. She left. I decided to follow her. I figured that if you’re going to make a change, do it big time. I gave notice on my job and immediately told my parents. No point in hiding it. Things would be challenging enough without that complication thrown in. They were supportive. Do what you have to do, is what they told me. My friends all thought that I was mad. Before I left I had a weird phone conversation with my girlfriend that did not bode well for the future. Whereas before she had been ecstatic that I was coming, now she seemed remote.

I loaded up my motorbike and drove away. At the top of the hills surrounding Perth I stopped and looked back. It was a bit daunting. Behind me was everything I knew. It took my 12 days to reach Sydney. I took the scenic route. On the way I met a French-Canadian dude called Yve who was traveling around on a bike as well. We hooked up and rode together. Adam and Yve traveling around Australia. At night we found a place to pitch our tents and then we drank wine and smoked joints and spoke about life in general. The closer I was getting to Sydney the further I was drifting apart from my girlfriend. The last few days I was an emotional basketcase. I knew when I turned up that things would not be good. But I had to keep going.

I got to Sydney and eventually found my girlfriends house. I had just ridden all the way across Australia and her greeting was a tad on the cold side. She didn’t have the guts to tell me that it was over or that she had found someone else. She just let me share her bed and gave me the cold shoulder. I was young and stupid but I still had a sense of pride. The third morning she left for work. I packed up all my kit and left without leaving a note or saying goodbye. I was alone in the city. I knew nobody. I had under a grand in my pocket. I had nowhere to stay.

So what do you do in this situation? The simple stuff. You find a place to live. You find a job. You make some friends. Ultimately change is about taking the steps. You always have two decisions available to you. Yes and no. Shall I do this? Yes or no. The girl was the catalyst that got me out of my comfort zone. Since then I’ve never looked back. It wasn’t easy. It was tough. But you try not to worry and keep your attention focused on what is in front of you. The decisions that need a yes or a no.

[El Diablo]

ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.

[adsman]

[ QUOTE ]
ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't even consider it as I thought it might be a bit much. Me rabbiting on about my life and all. If there's interest I will. I just wanted to get some of you guys to share your own stories as well.

[dethgrind]

I'd be very interested in reading more.

[Yawning Chain]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't even consider it as I thought it might be a bit much. Me rabbiting on about my life and all. If there's interest I will. I just wanted to get some of you guys to share your own stories as well.

[/ QUOTE ]

Definetly keep going. I am working on mine and will post ASAP.

[kidcolin]

How did you make friends? Sounds easy, but I've found it difficult. I moved 3K miles, new job, new place to live, some cheap furniture, but the friends part has been hard. I've met a few people, both platonic and otherwise, but nothing lasting.

[claudenm]

[ QUOTE ]
How did you make friends? Sounds easy, but I've found it difficult. I moved 3K miles, new job, new place to live, some cheap furniture, but the friends part has been hard. I've met a few people, both platonic and otherwise, but nothing lasting.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm in the same situation. I have a few friends, but I struggle to expand my friend base, it is something I really want to do but don't know how to. Part of it is that I am uncomfortable in large social settings where I don't know to many folks. I would like to hear how your story continues. Stories about others lives, even if you think yours may be mundane (although I don't get the sense you do) are helpful to others for various reasons.

Claude

[daryn]

[ QUOTE ]
ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.

[/ QUOTE ]

i agree, i'd like to hear how you made the move to another country and what that was like.. what made you choose that country etc.

[MatthewRyan]

[ QUOTE ]
ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd be interested as well

[Kyle]

please do go on