What will make you happy?

[inferno]

there is no way to find happiness, happiness is the way

[El Diablo]

limon,

"what they do is meditate on what is good in life and sorta just tell themselves they are happy/content. they train their brain to be happy."

That's really interesting and puts another twist on the whole "what is happiness?" question.

[LearnedfromTV]

Thought provoking thread. I tend to think of contentment or lasting happiness as a different issue than lesiure stuff like hanging out with friends or partying or watching sports or movies or whatever. I don't think people in this thread who say they're unhappy are having a problem having fun, it's a deeper, meaning-of-life kind of concern. And I think it's completely rational for all of us 20-30 year olds to be trying to figure out how to get the most out of our lives, especially, as Yeti says, when poker can grant so much freedom.

I am 26, and (newly) married to a terrific woman. I have a lot of free time, I have money, I love playing poker, and in theory, I have a lot of other interests to pursue that poker will allow me to pursue. Since I quit my job to play poker, though, I haven't really done much of the things I thought I would do. I don't workout enough, I'm only now applying to a graduate program, when I've traveled I haven't gotten as much out of it as I wanted, I don't read or write as much as I want to, I'm not as social as I'd like to be; the list goes on. I have all these things I want to do and my time is almost entirely my own now, and I can't figure out how to put it together. All my non-poker projects are barely off the ground and though poker itself is going fine I guess, I haven't worked out where it fits with everything else. I'm an insomniac and my mind is always racing thinking about the things I haven't done.

I've only figured out three things:

- I'm closer to the right track now than I was a year ago.

- There's no magic happiness thing, like getting married, or having kids, or getting the right job, or enough money, or enough time.

- I'll never truly be satisfied with my level of success in anything I do, so happiness for me is not about getting to a defined place, but about striking the proper balance between the handful of journeys I choose.

I think happiness is more about the will and desire to continue moving forward than about actually reaching goals, even though setting goals is a key part of knowing how to move forward and how to appreciate progress. At least for me, a reached goal doesn't bring happiness; there are things I've done in the past few years that took a lot of effort and mattered a great deal to me while I was doing them but contribute nearly nothing to my current happiness. So I keep moving forward and looking for the next thing; I don't think happiness will be about finding enough next things, rather it will be getting a handle on how to get the most out of every journey. And above all, how to balance the journeys.

[Evenkeal]

A zen master once told me, "what 3 things will make you happy?"

(Answer this question for yourself now, then highlight the rest of the text.)

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He then said, "if you didn't achieve those things, would you still be happy?"
</font>

[Soh]

Expect some obviously unhappy occasions, the key to the happiness is to realize that it is like chasing the sun. You'll never get there. The only thing you can do is to accept who you are, and be happy about where you are NOW. "Once I get to XYZ, I'll be happy," won't work, IMO. Maybe temporally you'll be happy, but before you know, you're thinking the next. "Well, once I accomplish ABC, I'll be sure have a happy life."

I'm not saying trying to accomplish something or trying to be better at something is bad. It's just that you need to be happy about the process, desire, and opportunity, too.

[.Alex.]

[ QUOTE ]
limon,

"what they do is meditate on what is good in life and sorta just tell themselves they are happy/content. they train their brain to be happy."

That's really interesting and puts another twist on the whole "what is happiness?" question.

[/ QUOTE ]
Hasn't there been studies done that show that physically smiling makes you happier? This seems related.

[blitz]

Working hard for something I really enjoy or deem important and overcoming challenges seem to do the trick for me but my contentedness is never long-lasting. I have a really nice girlfriend but she is causing me as much joy as pain, mostly
because she is not "perfect".
Maybe happiness is a product of evolution and doing things that help you passing on your genes make you happy.
Which is basically having children and securing their future.
The process of acquiring power and wealth for example should make you happy.
Being lazy or being surrounded by people you perceive as superior will most likely make you unhappy.
We always compare ourselves to others which is likely to be depressing in the information age. Most people dont look like a movie star, are as successful as Steve Jobs or as smart as Stephen Hawking.

[bugstud]

I'm starting to wonder if brain chemistry and poker are a bad combination.

For everyone else here, when's the time period you think you were most content?

[Vavavoom]

I was going to start pretty much exactly the same thread...

Spooky !

[The DaveR]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's some food for thought: I realize now that when I was under 25, I often confused having fun with happiness.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is an astounding observation.