Anyone here an older brother to a sister? (long, serious)

[threeonefour]

from one older brother (thrice over) to another:

you handled that situation in about the worst possible manner and it sounds like you came off like a little bitch. i don't mean to offend you but you shouldn't be giving orders or ultimatums or acting like you know the whole situation before you do. most kids think their parents act that way, the definitely don't need that from an older sibling.

give advice. but be on their team.


EDIT: changed should to shouldn't [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[Alobar]

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I'm not much interested in talking about what Stephanie was wearing yesterday, or who Brittany was holding hands with in study hall.

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yeah, but she is, and thats the point.

[kyro]

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weak dude. You want to get involved with your sisters life and tell her whats what, yet you only talk to her a handful of times over 4 years and dont even want a hug from her the rare times you see her? get a clue

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*nods*

PD, you're being incredibly dumb. Don't make me change my vote.

[chesspain]

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weak dude. You want to get involved with your sisters life and tell her whats what, yet you only talk to her a handful of times over 4 years and dont even want a hug from her the rare times you see her? get a clue

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Holy crap! When Alobar goes toe-to-toe with you and comes off as the more sensitive and enlightened individual, you know it's time to set your TiVo to the Dr. Phil hour.

[beyeond]

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Background: I'm 21, in my final semester at NYU, and i've probably spoken to my sister a handful of times over the past 4 years. My sister is an 8th grader (13 yrs old) in Columbus, Ohio, a "star" on the basketball team, and an honor roll student. When ever I am home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or a weekend over the summer, she always tries to give me a big hug, mostly to annoy me though I think, because she knows that I hate it when she does this. After I came back to NYC after Christmas, my sister IMed me for the first time ever and we've had a few conversations since.

Story: My sister IMs me today saying hi, and I start a small conversation with her. While doing so I look at her AIM profile. There is this very long quote that i'm assuming she got from some lyric or movie that I have not heard of about how she wants to be in love with some guy. And on top of that, there is this boy's name, yesterday's date, and the words "i love you". Now, I'm assuming that the boy passed her a note yesterday that said "check yes or no", and this is the day they have started to 'date'. When I saw this, I asked her to take out the words "i love you" out of her profile, because she obviously doesn't know what the words mean, and she repeatedly told me that she "wasn't going to do anything stupid". Now I was a kid a few years ago, and I remember saying "I'm not going to do anything stupid" to my parents, and then usually ended up doing something stupid. I told her that if she didn't take it out, that I was going to tell mom and dad (who would throw a [censored] fit).

I trust my sister to a certain degree, but at the same time, I feel like it's a little early for her to be saying i love you to a boy, and DEFINATELY too young to be doing anything that some of you pedophiles are thinking about right now.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Or what have you done being in this situation? Should I involve my parents in this (I'm assuming they haven't given her any birds and the bees speech since I never got that speech), or should I let my sister make her own decisions/mistakes in the matter?

And no I won't give you my sister's phone number or post pics.

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I feel stupider than I did 1 minute ago. You sir, are a tool.

[P.Dirty]

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I'm not much interested in talking about what Stephanie was wearing yesterday, or who Brittany was holding hands with in study hall.

Which is why she's not gonna listen to you. She's in junior high, what do you think they talk about? Who do you think she listens to right now? She talks to her girlfriends, who help her parse every single perceived change in their social environment.

If you don't accept what's important to her, she'll never pay attention to what you have to say.

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OK, that came out wrong. I ask my sister about how her day was or something like that, and she will tell me about going to the mall or something like that. So it's not like I won't speak to her at all about that stuff.

[27offsuit]

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If you think 8th grade is too young for three holes and two hands, you are sorely mistaken sir.

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Whether you are joking or not, this is what I'm afraid of.

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And you should talk to your sister more.

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I am in the process of doing this. The hardest part about the thing is that there is a huge, 8 year gap between us. I can talk to her about basketball and from when I used to play, but beyond that, I'm not much interested in talking about what Stephanie was wearing yesterday, or who Brittany was holding hands with in study hall.

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What I meant by part I was the fact that there is A LOT of sex going on in 8th grade. I was in 8th grade in the 80's and there was a lot of sex going on then . I'm sure it's only gotten worse since.

As far as part II, I'm in my 30's and have a 15 year old sister so I can kind of relate. Although you probably don't have much in common, she looks up to you big time and what I myself try to do is just give her advice on life and sh*t.

Example: Just last weekend I and my wife and little ones took my sis out to eat for her 15th. I small-talked about if she could work yet or needed a 'workers permit' because of her age and what not. I then went on to point out to her that all these waitresses walking around her were making tips and how, when she goes looking for her first part-time job, she should look at tip-related, fast-paced jobs as opposed to boring, dead-end mind sucks like Target and McDonalds.

In short, I try to act as a middleman between friend and parent. More than a friend, but less than a parent.

Good luck.

[pryor15]

i think you might have me on ignore or something, but whatever.

to me this seems like the wrong play here as having the words 'i love you' on an IM profile is certainly not the time to pull out the "i'm telling mom and dad" card as it just isn't that important, even if she's only 13. the benefit of you being the cool older brother for the next couple of years is much more important when something else does come up (drugs, stripping, the gum disease gingivitis, whatever) that you really feel she shouldn't be doing.

a "be careful" warning probably would have been a lot better.

[Phoenix1010]

Same situation, same ages, except me and my sister are a bit closer. Kids need advice and guidance from their older siblings, not authoritarian crap and snitching. If you knew for a fact that she was doing something harmful/illegal, maybe you'd have a case for telling on her. As it is you should talk to her, give her someone to talk to and get advice from (because by now she is almost certainly ignoring your parents and probably doing her best do disobey them). Earn her trust, and then inform her that all guys are evil. The real pressure is about to start for her, she needs all the help she can get. In the end, kids don't listen to anyone and they're going to make their own mistakes, but you can help her more by being her friend than by trying to be another parent.

[P.Dirty]

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weak dude. You want to get involved with your sisters life and tell her whats what, yet you only talk to her a handful of times over 4 years and dont even want a hug from her the rare times you see her? get a clue

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I know that I have been a "bad brother" over the past couple of years. I don't need to you to tell me this. I have started to speak to her a lot more over the past 7 weeks, and while this might not be enough for you to justify my OP, I had to start somewhere. I obviously care about her or I wouldn't be doing any of this in the first place.

P.