B&M Cliches

[llayner]

"I check with the intention of calling?"

[1-Lucky-SOB]

All In Always Wins - in a limit game, after taking the main pot.

One Jack Off - when a jack was needed for the winning hand.

Canadian Full House - three pair

All the [censored] hand names are getting very old.


-1

[MrFizzbin]

Any Rounders quote done in a bad Teddy KGB accent.

1) Vaant Cookie
2) Give the man his money.



Soon to be Cliches
I Will Fly One Day... (Blood optional)

[TC Franks]

This is a classic thread.

I did have a good response to the rather cliche' "I can't believe you kept calling me," by the player who just had his bluff defeated.

I said, "It's not a play I'd make against a good player." It instantly turns the tables. (It might be good to make sure you are in a secure area when filing this one though.) [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[luckyjimm]

Player A needs some different denomination chips, so asks player B "Can you change me?". Player B replies, "I can't change you. Only you can change yourself!"

At showdown with a red four flush on the board, player A says "I don't have a heart", player B says "Oh, don't be hard on yourself."

Have heard (and made) both these jokes...

[ZPinhead]

The dealer lays out the flop and looks to the player with first action. That player thinks for a second and says "go ahead". The dealer looks quizzically at the player and asks "goat-head???"

[hamsamich]

Silent cliche.....
Guy with the As tat on his forearm that I played with Sat. night.

[boscoboy]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
when was the last time anyone laughed at a joke made at a poker table?

rj

[/ QUOTE ]

Brag: last night, as a matter of fact. I made a joke that wasn't even very funny, but it got two hearty laughs. A couple guys were jawing at each other for the past 15 minutes, then a hand came up where everyone limped into the pot and we saw the flop 8-handed for one bet. A lady goes, "it's a family pot!" And I said, "Yeah, a dysfunctional family."

[/ QUOTE ]

i would have laughed at this

[AKQJ10]

[ QUOTE ]
Silent cliche.....
Guy with the As tat on his forearm that I played with Sat. night.

[/ QUOTE ]

I once saw a guy with the 8 of clubs on his jacket. I never worked up the nerve to ask him why he had the 8 of clubs.

Conversely, whenever the discussion turns to "favorite starting hands", after everyone's said their piece about 6 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 9 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], I declare that my favorite hand is A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img].

And when I hear the usual Foxwoods banter about how "aces never win," I offer to let the table just elect for me to get aces each time. Interestingly no one's taken me up on it.

Maybe I'm educating the fish too well.

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]
Silent cliche.....
Guy with the As tat on his forearm that I played with Sat. night.

[/ QUOTE ]


I owe my start in poker to a guy with an As tat on his forearm.
In Jan, 2003 I was playing blackjack with a guy who was in town for the poker-tournaments. He was waiting for a seat to open at 100/200.

I mentioned that the poker-room activity looked interesting but I didn't even know how to play.
He told me that I could learn to play on the internet. You can even play for REAL money.


Even before knowing a thing about poker I knew that the As tat on his arm was a bad cliche. but he did enlighten me about that whole internet-poker thing.