Never Trust Anyone

[Knockwurst]

[ QUOTE ]
Now... I question all... what kind of an idiot would do that? You all think Mark is such an amazing brilliant poker player and I'm a lying bitch, so why would an amazing brilliant poker player give a lying bitch his password and tell her to play 10-20. hmmmmmmm.......

[/ QUOTE ]


This logic reminded me of an old SNL skit -- Frank Gannon, P.I. P.I.

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: And.. can you describe the man who tried to attack you?

Co-Ed: Describe him? I know his name.. I know where he lives!

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Wait a minute.. you know this guy?

Co-Ed: Yes! I told you we were on a date!

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Now, why would you date an attempted rapist?


Another classic from the same episode:


(Inside a vandalized abortion clinic)

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Let's review, Woody.. alright.. let me tell you what we've got here. [ reads from his notes ] It appears that a mob of young black men, angry over the Rodney King verdict, looted the clinic and stole the files.

Rudy: A-ha.. but, Gannon, why would they steal the files of an abortion clinic?

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Now your inexperience is showing, Rudy. Obviously, they were looking for names and addresses of the loose women in the neighborhood.

Rudy: In order to impregnate them?

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Bingo!

Dr. McAndrews: Are both of you insane?! Can't you see that this is the work of a militant anti-abortion group?!

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Alright, doctor, if you know so much, tell me this: why would a mob of young black men join an anti-abortion group?

Dr. McAndrews: There were no black men!

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Then, how do you explain the damage here to your clinic?

[ Dr. McAndrews throws her arms up in disgust ]

Rudy: It sounds like someone hasn't been paying attention to the news lately.

Frank Gannon P.I. P.I.: Good point, Rudy.

[Jack Bando]

Knockwurst, thanks for the skits. Who was in them?

[Golden_Rhino]

If you take away the fact that the people involved are quasi-celebrities, haven't we all dated a crazy chick? They have a way of making the most absurd things sound normal, and they also have a knack for somehow always being the victim of the story.

[Sponger.]

[ QUOTE ]
Knockwurst, thanks for the skits. Who was in them?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dr. McAndrews.....Julia Sweeney
Raymond.....Phil Hartman
Frank Gannon P.I. P.I......Kevin Nealon
Rudy.....Woody Harrelson
Dr. Griffin.....Ellen Cleghorne
Co-Ed.....Victoria Jackson

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91tgannon.phtml