cheating - Page 6

punkass · #51 12-23-2006, 11:14 PM

Even if you do forgive her, I think that most of the time, your future will be either...

1) She is actually the type to cheat, and will hurt you again.

2) You won't really trust her anymore, so you aren't 100% committed in the relationship.

It seems you really wanted someone to say "If you really love her, forgive her." You can go with this, but it's really hard to replicate the relationship you had before she cheated.

perfectpokar · #52 12-24-2006, 03:46 AM

yea i understand but if shes telling the truth about telling him to stop, as things that happened today seem to make it sound true, then i really would hate to end the relationship becuase i was jelous and made a stupid decision. Im taking my time on this one.

iron81 · #53 12-24-2006, 03:59 AM

[ QUOTE ]
It seems you really wanted someone to say "If you really love her, forgive her." You can go with this, but it's really hard to replicate the relationship you had before she cheated.

[/ QUOTE ]
If this is true, you've come to the right place. I think you should forgive her, especially if she didn't screw the guy. Finding a woman you love is a special thing and its worth a little effort. If you cant forgive people for the occasional mistake, you're going to die alone. Get over it OP: if you love her enough to want her back, take her back.

perfectpokar · #54 12-24-2006, 04:14 AM

i have for the time being but i hate not being able to trust her.

Winenose · #55 12-24-2006, 04:22 AM

Most of the advice in this thread is from books or tv shows and the posters have never had a long relationship.

My advice for you would be to ask her "why?". And you act based on that. If her reasons are such that could possibly happen again, a lot, in the future, she's not worth keeping. If the conversation turns into talks what's missing in your relationship and IF and HOW you (both, not just you) can fix it, then go from there.

Whatever she did might be because she was afraid to speak to you about some problems she has with the current relationship. It grew and grew and she found an outlet..

or she might be a whore and has hidden it very well so far.

But that's what relationships are about.

Good luck.

Ali shmali · #56 12-24-2006, 04:26 AM

if you guys don't have kids together I'd just move on.

Ali shmali · #57 12-24-2006, 04:33 AM

btw, he called her while you were there? when did he get her number? were they hanging out exclusively or where they at a party or something? You need to find out why he had her number and more importantly why he was calling her? I hate to say this but confessions like this usually come in chunks.

perfectpokar · #58 12-24-2006, 04:38 AM

[ QUOTE ]
btw, he called her while you were there? when did he get her number? were they hanging out exclusively or where they at a party or something? You need to find out why he had her number and more importantly why he was calling her?

[/ QUOTE ]

He had her number becuase he was her ex boyfriend and me and him were cool for awhile.

[ QUOTE ]
I hate to say this but confessions like this usually come in chunks.

[/ QUOTE ]
this is what im worried about.

ratholeusoul · #59 12-24-2006, 04:59 AM

ex bf? merry [censored] xmas, yo -- I think she's trying to send a message. Anyhow you should just try to get an honest answer on why she did it and how she wants to play this out now that you know she (almost) cheated on you. Usually women have some sort of reason for pulling [censored] like this. If there isn't one and it "just happened" - she's loco and you shouldn't trust her. Don't be the next guy on Springer.

Frogic · #60 12-24-2006, 05:57 AM

As someone who has cheated a bunch of times/has a lot of friends who do you either need to dump her or have an open relationship. It doesn't "just happen", and the "We didn't have sex" line is ALWAYS the first thing you say, and I mean ALWAYS.

Frogic