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The \"Never Trust Anybody\" Song Book
It may seem like I'm acting a little crazy nowadays, but I can assure you, there is good reason. I have been very stressed out and even feeling suicidal. Perhaps if I shed some light on what happened, you might feel a bit of compassion for me...
Hit it: [ QUOTE ] CHORUS-(Me) X's 3 Penis on your neck, pe-penis on your neck Penis on your neck, pe-penis on your neck I'm talkin pails of green, talkin pails of green Tom Franklin's mean, penis on the poker queen. VERSE 1-(Brandi Rose) Where them trees at? Where them keys at? Where my 12 G's at? Where my-where my BMWs at? All grey BMW, repossessed in tha bed yo Where them stripper fees at, where them double dees at? Said I need that, where my where my 12 G's at? Nu-nuttin less tho, nippple says full tilt so Hands on that bottle, didn't want to sleep wit da X-O Cried 2 or 3 times in the sack-sack Cause I got 2 or 3 penises on my back-back Won 4 donks out 6-6 - winning players got dix-dix penis on my neck, pe-penis on my neck. [/ QUOTE ] I don't dress any differently than any of the other young girls my age that are on the cover of magazines. Just because I wear a low cut top or a short dress, does not mean I am a whore. And the reason why I have such a hard time with the stripper comments is because I have a hard time working men for money. I don't do it! I don't even know how to go about doing it! In fact, I have been amazed that Chantel gets money off of guys. I baffles and intrigues me. I don't know how she does it. Dutch was supposed to be talking to Tom and getting my money back. Unfortunately he is crazy and completely lied to me. He told me that Tom had agreed to give me my money as long as I signed papers that said I would never talk about him or Amanda or any of this story ever again. That was a lie. Tom does not care to give me my money. Instead, he tells everyone that I'm crazy and making it all up ~ of course to cover his own ass. Instead Dutch was trying to sell him a patent for something. The patent was expired. I had a panic attack because I actually believed that I would get my money back. When I found out Dutch was lying to me, I couldn't breathe. Bellagio security guards had surrounded me and called the paramedics. There is a report about it ~ if you do not believe me. [ QUOTE ] "Run From Dutch Boyd" by Iron "Brown Thumb" Maiden PokerSpot came across the sea Dutch brought us pain and misery It killed our tribes, it killed our creed It took our money so we're out of weed. We fought it hard we fought it well Out on the plains we encountered a smell. I dropped my jaw at what my fate befell On Poker Mountain sat Norman Fell. Raising with sooteds and barren draws Walloping hard on the felt Chasing the weak-tights back to their holes Fighting them with maniac game Rake in the pot and begin to stack Women and children and Brown Thumbs attack Run to the hills, run for your lives Brown Thumb's on tilt, come claim your prize Dutch is the master of barren wastes RakeFree has no more game Raping the boys and blowing the men Dutch and the crew are so lame Selling them whisky and taking their gold It's time for Dutch Boyd to get Cornholed. Run to the hills, run for your lives Brown Thumb's on tilt, come claim your prize [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] The Thumb Went Down To Vegas Charlie Daniel's "Brown Thumb" Band Brown Thumb went down to Vegas, He was looking for a pot to steal. He was in a bind cause he was stoned blind, And it was the devil's turn to deal. Then he saw this young man, Yelling and high-fiving the crowd. And Thumb jumped up, nodded hey bro, 'sup And said, "Boy you're about to get plowed." I guess you didn't know it, But I'm a poker player too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I will destroy the crew. I know you play skin fiddle and of course the skin flute too, But let's mix the devil into this brew. I know your goal is to suck my pole, But at cards I'm better than you. The boy said "My name's Dutch Boyd, As a roll of bills unfurled, And my crew will beat the devil and you, Cause we're taking over the poker world" Brown Thumb fire up your pipe And play Ace-Jack-off hard. Cause there's plenty P.O.T. for smokin' While the devil deals the cards. And if you win You get this big bag of Humbolt rolled. But if you lose, your're gonna get cornholed. The devil opened up the hand And he said "I'll start this show." And chips flew from his finger tips And said, "Watch this P.O.T. grow." And he pulled his hole cards across the felt His two aces made a hiss. He watched three sixes hit the flop, And gave his boat a kiss When the devil raised him, Thumb said "Well you're, lookin' good god damn. But sit down in that chair right there I know you got aces every hand." Thumb just got two jacks on the run. Devil caps the river, watch the fun. Dutch on the button picking his nose. Devil gonna get it like Leonard Tose. The devil bowed his head, Because he knew that he'd been beat. Brown Thumb laid jacks full on the felt, And Dutch headed for the street. Devil said "Dutch, just sit on down get your crew and start to play. I done told you once, I own your ass 'Cause I bought it on E-Bay." he played Thumb got quads with running ducks. Dutch and the crew are a bunch of shmucks. Dutch on the button picking his crack. Will he ever PAY THEM BACK? [/ QUOTE ] Brandi, have you ever, in a direct or roundabout way, offered sex for money/buyins to a poker player? Because I've heard you have. I'm sure your M.O. is to come off as flirty/slutty as possible and then when the person you are leading on (in exchagnge for a buyin) tries to collect on the promise of sex, you act appalled. I don't mind your whorishness whatsoever, it's the way you disguise it through total disinegnuity that makes me sick. Shane's posts have about 10x more merit than anybody else's in this thread, including Brandi's. [ QUOTE ] HAWBAKER by Brown Thumb (Sung to the Tune of Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar) You promised to teach me poker, But its over my head Drownin' me in your huggles Better leave my bed. Microwave Thanksgiving dinner, is the least of my inner fantasies. As bald as Yul Brenner, get the Little Captain away from me I'm a hawbaker, tubesteaker, Chip-shanker, don't you mess around with me I'm a hawbaker, jam maker, makeup-caker, don't you mess around, no no no Your Captain set my back on fire Burnin' outta control You taught me the ways deception Now it's back to the pole. If I could hit my 3 outers, it would fulfill my inner fantasies The inevitable winner, and yet it will never be. I'm a hawbaker, tubesteaker, Chip-shanker, don't you mess around with me I'm a hawbaker, scam-maker, account transfer-taker, don't you mess around, no no no (As for you Tom) You're a roll-taker, mentor faker, love-taker, don't you mess around with me ... You're a heartbreaker, dreammaker, love-taker, heartbreaker! [/ QUOTE ] "During that time, my passport was stolen. " "Don't worry, the road to nowhere doesn't require a passport." Bump-en-Stein [ QUOTE ] Brandi, You're a Trip By Brown Thumb There's a card room, in Tennessee Were she plays hundreds of hands for free, Lonely sailors stop in then go away But their Captain is here to stay. There's a girl in this little town And she cannot lay her gutshots down They say Brandi buy another rack, If your broke, take a Lil' Captain in the back. The rounders say "Brandi, you're a fine girl but a good wife you could never be How can I have a wife that steals from me? Brandi wears a braided chain To remind her of the Captain's purple vein. The day she had her aces cracked, and got a poke right in the back. He came on a summer's day He came again, then went astray. But he made it clear he wouldn't pay Now her Beamers' towed away. The rounders say "Brandi, you're a fine girl but a good wife you could never be when your crotch smells like Chicken of the Sea. [/ QUOTE ] Brandi, There ARE people that you will be able to trust in your life. Those people include family members and friends that have demonstrated to you time and again that they will be there for you and have your best interests at heart. You, in turn, need to provide that level of respect and trustworthiness back to them. This coordinated and delicate dance takes a lifetime to nurture. **** Ok, last post in this thread... As it happens, it does seem that Brandi is a very untrustworthy charecter, and she scammed a good guy (Mark) out of a lot of money. I think that is disgusting personally, and i'm sure she will get what is coming to her anyway since she's obviously emotionally imabalanced and trying to kill herself. BUT, none of that changes the fact that someone can be a bad person and still be wronged, and if it happens sexually, that is something serious. If you don't know what happened, yo ushouldn't take an agressive stance on it. That is why no where in this thread will you see me say "Oh this poor girl got harrassed/assaulted!" All i pointed, albeit very vehemently to you, is that if you don't know what happened you should keep your mouth shut about it, and you definitly shouldn't make these gross comments about women who are in professions which don't conform to your morals. That is all. Gabe [ QUOTE ] Peter McDermott's Brandi Haws You better watch out You better hold tight To your wallets and cash I'm telling you why Brandy Haws is coming to town The randy whore is coming to town Brandy Haws is coming to town She's making a list, Checking it twice; Gonna find out who's got cash and who's nice. Brandy Haws is coming to town The randy whore is coming to town Brandy Haws is coming to town She robs you when you're sleeping She's sweet when you're awake You can't tell if she's bad or good Kick her out for your bankroll's sake With little pierced nips and little cute bum She'll snort all your toot and swallow your cum Brandy Haws is coming to town The randy whore is coming to town Brandy Haws is coming to town [/ QUOTE ] Remember bitch? You smoked my weed. **** But it is the third million I make that I am truly excited about. By the time I am twenty-eight, one of my biggest dreams will come true. I will buy a boat that I can sail around the world with. That is my one true dream. In four years, that is where I want to be. [ QUOTE ] BrandiRose is Comin' To Town, by Bluff This You better watch out You better not cry You better not be thinkin with your little head I'm telling you why BradiRose is coming to town She's making her list Running it twice Gonna find out who's suckerish and nice BrandiRose is coming to town She blows your stars account when you're sleeping She blows it when you're awake You don't know if she's been bad or good So find out now for goodness sake With a little cleavage and slutty promises for dum dums She'll hustle you out of your roll and you'll all be busto bums BrandiRose is coming to town She sees you when ogling She knows how much she can take She knows you won't get more than huggling So watch out for goodness sake BrandiRose is coming to town You better watch out You better not cry She'll slash herself And write in blood one day she'll fly BrandiRose is coming to town (coming to town) Brandi's a busy woman who won't let you stay She's got hundreds of suckers to fleece every day BrandiRose is coming to town (coming to town) (BrandiRose is coming to town) (coming to town) [/ QUOTE ] ok, so i wasnt going to post anything, in the car ride back to vegas, brandi told me that she got her ex to put her in a satellite on the condition that she let him [censored] her in the ass, then she said, id rather let you do it, you want to? i ended up putting her in a satellite. anyway, thats pretty much the story [ QUOTE ] Fairytale of Las Vegas, by Potvaliant It was Christmas Eve babe At the Commerce An old man’s penis I see, oh no not another one It wasn’t very long An inch, or maybe two I turned my face away And dreamed about you Got on a lucky one Filled up at eighteen to one I’ve got a feeling This year’s for me and you So happy Christmas I love you Brandi I can see a better time When all our dreams come true They've got cars big as bars They've got rivers of gold But the Captain wants to screw you Stay away from the old When I gave you the hand job you were so naive You promised to Back me at the WSOP You were quite dumb You dressed slutty The bathroom walls were all bloody When the sharks finished playing They howled out for more Captain Tom was swinging We were drunken sng’ing We tried to cut corners And lost it that night That girl from the NWP choir Was saying “Neverwin’s gay” And the bells were ringing out For Christmas day You’re a bum You’re a punk Oh my God you’re a donk Open pushing ahead - nope drawing dead You scumbag you maggot You cheap lousy [censored] Happy Christmas your arse I pray God it’s our last And that girl from the NWP choir’s Still saying Neverwin’s gay And the bells are ringing out For Christmas Day I could’ve been someone Well so could anyone You took my dreams from me When I first found you I kept them with me babe I put them with my own Can’t make it all alone I’ve built my dreams around you [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Poker Oddity, by offTopic BrandiRose to Captain Tom BrandiRose to Captain Tom Lift your penis off and put your boxers on BrandiRose to Captain Tom (10, 9, 8, 7) Took my bankroll, now it's on (6, 5, 4, 3) Beat me mentally, you huggling, dirty man (2, 1, drama) This is BrandiRose to Captain Tom, You've really duped me in And the posters want to know what shorts you wear Reply to allegations if you dare This is newhizzle to BrandiRose You're such a stupid whore Why'd you lose my money playing all check-call? Have you cleaned your blood up off the bathroom wall? For you are...sitting in the bath tub Cutting on yourself Maybe you will fly, or I'll just sit and cry... Though you lost my thirty thousand bills I'm waiting for a tug And I think I know which way this thread will go All my e-friends think that you're a giant ho BrandiRose to Captain Tom, My bankroll's gone is something wrong Can you hear me Captain Tom? Can you hear me Captain Tom? Can you hear me Captain Tom? Can you... Here you are...sitting in the bath tub Cutting on yourself Maybe you will fly, or I'll just sit and cry... [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Iron Brown Thumb Maiden - Rime of the Ancient Gambooler =========================================== Hear the rime of the ancient gamboooler See his eye as he spies table three' Young man look upon this evil; Stay here and listen to the nightmares of Brandi. And the tale goes on, as the Mark passes by Caught by his spell and the gaboooler tells his tale. Driven north to the land of the snow and ice To a place where donkaments run Brandi stays and plays some sit-n-goes, meanwhile the Captain starts his fun. And Brandi huggles close, her back to his sack, He says "my meat with your buns, we can have a Big Mac." Brandi jumps ship and heads for another berth, The Captain has lost his new mate, Brandi sells the tale for all its worth And casts out the line with new bait. Flying on and on and back to the L.V. Flying on and on yet far from sanity. Young Brandi begins with her vengeance A terrible curse a thirst has begun She posts her gripe on Two-Plus-Two in a the now legend thread,"Never Trust Anyone." And the thread goes on and on eternally And the thread goes on and on for them and me. "Day after day, day after day, we're stuck nor breath nor motion as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean new posts, new posts everywhere and all the other boards did shrink new post, new posts everywhere but we couldn't stop to think." There calls the gamboooler There comes the Mark of all time BUt how can she play with no skills, no money, no ride? See...onward she comes Onward she nears out of the (Mohegan) sun See, she has the crew She now has Dutch, and the Crew equals two. Dutch and she run the scam, They find the Mark for the crew She ditches the gamboooler, she moves in on a new man, Then, with Mouse in her hand, the bankroll wiped out, all thirty grand, She sees her Life in Death, In blood writes one day she'll fly. "One after one by the star dogged moon, even the slow realise the ruse, Bluff This, Shaniac, El D, et al. vindicated the others straining for some news. four times one-hundred further posts (and I heard no life, just fizzle) then with heavy thump, a reverse, double-pump, the bomb is dropped by our NewHizzle." He cursed by chance for love, yet truly worn of sympathy The Mark wished she'd die Along with Chantel and other rouge creatures But they lived on, so did he. and by the light of the room He prays for robosto not doom but he's in for a surprize, (a supersize) as the balance is swept as if by a broom. Then Brandi starts to freak The color drains from his face "Time for MY CAPTAIN to find a new place." From cheek to cheek he found a new grin, "Let's find a new way, to earn a buy-in." Hear the groans of the long dead posters See them stir and they start to rise Now they realize her intentions None of them speak and they're lifelesss in their eyes Many of those have been taken, others had jumped to her side, But with the help of POkulator, its clear that Dutch is her new guide NOw revenge must be sought, against Brandi and her kin, Cast her and Chantel into the garbage bin. Now the curse is finally lifted Brandi is exposed to us all. spirits go from her soulless body Another young light in total free fall. And then the gamboooler approached him It was a joy he could not believe Son, you have learned a valuable lesson, Beware of the gold digger's greed. And the debt sinks like lead into the sea And the Mark now escapes his misery. The gamboooler's bound to tell of his story To tell this tale wherever he goes To teach the Mark's word by this example That we must protect our bankrolls. And the poker pro's a sad and wiser man And the thread goes on and on and on. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Brandi, by Snagglepuss there's a forum on a western bay and it serves a hundred threads a day lonely degens pass the time away and talk about their beats and there's a girl, on this poker site and she studies, famous pro's every night they say "brandi, you don't seem too bright" but they all still want to bang the poker nerds say 'brandi, you're a fine a girl what a good lay you would be yeah your [censored] could part any player from money.' Brandy, wears a skimpy blouse Made of finest poliéster from the north of Laos Proud breasts, that serve to distract these nerds who want her love Carlos came, on a large plane Bringing tourney stakes, from online games But she made it clear, she wasn't his They were just friends the poker nerds say 'brandi, you're a fine a girl what a good lay you would be yeah your [censored] could part any player from money. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] by Peter McDermott She was poor but she was honest She was poor but she was honest, Victim of a gambler's whim, First he huggled her then he left her, But her bankroll stayed with him It's the same the whole world over, It's the poor what gets the blame, When newhizzle's account goes busto, Ain't it all a bloody shame So she came to Vegas city, With a ticket bought by Mark, Hoping he would get some anal, Not a handjob in the dark It's the same the whole world over, It's the poor what gets the blame, When newhizzle's account goes busto, Ain't it all a bloody shame See him seated in his limo, Bankroll bulging with his cash, See her weeping in the bathroom, With her hand upon her gash It's the same the whole world over, It's the poor what gets the blame, When newhizzle's account goes busto, Ain't it all a bloody shame See her stand in Spearmint Rhino, Renting out her youthful hole, She said 'Sir, I've never had it', As she danced around the pole It's the same the whole world over, It's the poor what gets the blame, When newhizzle's account goes busto, Ain't it all a bloody shame On the rail at Full Tilt Poker, Trading anal for a bet, She said 'sir, I've never had it' I said no, not f*cking yet. It's the same the whole world over, It's the poor what gets the blame, When newhizzle's account goes busto, Ain't it all a bloody shame Once she ate at fancy restaurants, While the waiters grovelled low, Now she lives on Microwave chicken, Cause she's such a scheming 'ho. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Ice Ice Baby, by blackjack777 Allright stop, colaborate and listen, Brandi's back and Old Tom's in position, Something grabs ahold of you tightly Promising sex and draining your bankroll nightly, Will she ever stop? Yo we don't know Check out her panties... they glow. To the extreme she rolls ballas like a vandal Handing out herpes like they were halloween candles. Deadly, when she smears blood on the mirrors, Gets mad and says her old lovers are queers. If there was a problem yo she'll ball ya Check out the hook while my dshay.... AHHHHHH... [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Yesterday, by Eponymous Yesterday , I was the poker world’s most wanted lay, Now it looks as though I can’t get staked, Oh, I believe I will fly one day. Suddenly, A wrinkled penis was bumping into me, Then I used my hand on someone oily, Right before I lost his 30K. Pay my Sit and go, and you know, you’ll have your way. I post Something dumb, now my bum is turned away. Yesterday, I cashed in 4 of the 6 games I played, Now I have 43 dollars to my name, Oh, I believe I will fly one day. When he Rubbed my back with his sack, I should have stayed. I cried Behind the door, now I’m a whore who can’t get paid. Yesterday, Huggling was such an easy game to play, Now on a bathroom floor is where I lay, Oh, I believe I will fly one day. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Eponymous By popular demand, here's one more. This one's sung to the Statler Brothers' "Flowers on the Wall" (featured in Pulp Fiction). I keep hearing you're concerned about my happiness. All the posts your writing feeds my attention whoring, I guess. If you were waiting for my next drama bomb, I wouldn't worry none. While Two Plus Two is worrying 'bout me, I'm having lots of fun. Writing blood notes on the wall, That don't bother me at all. Playing satellites till dawn, Thanks to a dick that I made brown. Smoking cannabis and huggling in Captain Tom’s bedroom. Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do. Last night I cut myself, and pretended that I would one day fly. As long as I can dream, I know I’ll have a stack three million dollars high. Of course buying sprees and airplane rides have taken quite a toll. But you can always find me on Stars blowing somebody’s bankroll. Writing blood notes on the wall, That don't bother me at all. Playing satellites till dawn, Thanks to a dick that I made brown. Smoking cannabis and huggling in Captain Tom’s bedroom. Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do. Well, if you’re finished, I must go, one handjob’s all you get. I haven’t finished scamming pros for tourney buy-ins yet. I need to go and flash my boobs around the Vegas strip. Then I’ll come back to the room and the blood will start to drip. Writing blood notes on the wall, That don't bother me at all. Playing satellites till dawn, Thanks to a dick that I made brown. Smoking cannabis and huggling in Captain Tom’s bedroom. Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do. Now, writing blood notes on the wall, That don't bother me at all. Playing satellites till dawn, Thanks to a dick that I made brown. Smoking cannabis and huggling in Captain Tom’s bedroom. Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do. Don't tell me I've nothing to do. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] the wreck of the brandi hawbaker, by TheOSU: the legend lives on from two plus two on down of the player they call the newhizzle the player, it's said, never gets any head because his hair is so incredibly oily with a full stocked account - 30k was the count brandi hawbaker sat down at the computer but our little girl blue was a bone to be chewed when the online professionals viewed her the girl was the pride of newhizzles eye coming off four cashes in tourneys as poker players go she was hotter than most with breasts she flashed as she pleased texting the pro brandi set down the phone and opened a couple of tables after getting stacked a couple of times was it the bottle of wine she'd been feelin? the minraise from the button made an obvious tell and the button showed down the top set and brandi then new, and the railbirds did too twas time for brandi to rebuy evening came late, dinner would wait when the hero dropped a couple of buyins so she shot off a text "i'm up real big, you bet!" in the face of another bluff all in by 10pm time brandi said "o my god" and moved up to chase all her losses at midnight mark called 'i'm still up' she bawled as newhizzle's head spinned at his losses when all was said and done and night turned to morn brandi had dropped thirty dimes newhizzle walked in, he tried to sign in and tried his password several different times it's a surprise brandi cried, newhizzle nearly died when he found out she'd wiped his account out so at that point he did what any man surely would he took his dick and rubbed one out brandi felt sorry, her eyes full of worry so she got down and gave him a handjob he finished on her face, we think that's the case either way, the girl is a nutjob the legend lives on from two plus two on down of the player they call the newhizzle the player, it's said, never gets any head because his hair is so incredibly oily [/ QUOTE ] |
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Re: The \"Never Trust Anybody\" Song Book
excellent.
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Re: The \"Never Trust Anybody\" Song Book
[censored] A+
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Re: The \"Never Trust Anybody\" Song Book
you forgot to put in the one by TI, "what cha know 'bout dat"
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Re: The \"Never Trust Anybody\" Song Book
ill just add it myself. both these songs by Hamburglar
Gin and Juice(snoop doog) With so much drama in the N-V-G Its kinda hard being brandi R-O-S-E But she, some way, some how Keeps flipping them Gs from 8 stars accounties like every single day really though chorus: prancin down the hotel lobby, smoking shaniac's indo, giving hand to a moose laid back, (with my mind on my money and my money on my new toaster) prancin down the hotel lobby, smoking shaniac's indo, giving hand to a moose laid back, (with my mind on my money and my money on my new toaster) What you know?(TI) Aye... don't you know I got Gs by the three when I saw penis on my back Loaded nut sack captain tom, where's ur undies at What you know about that? What you know about that? I know all about penis on my back Loaded $3Gs on the low where the cheese at Fresh off stars to the car where the $30G's at What you know about that? What you know about that? Hey what you know about that? Hey I know all about penis on my back |
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