Wife problems

[Dave G.]

One thing to keep in mind here: your son is going to learn how to be a man from looking up to you. If your son sees you being bullied by these petty bitches, and you constantly backing down, he's going to be completely whipped and unable to deal with women when he grows up. Trust me it will happen, it happened to me (for different reasons though).

Your current situation is not a healthy environment for your son. You have two choices: leave your wife, or stay... but if you stay, you need to put your [censored] foot down and stop rolling over for these immature brats. Make it clear you aren't going to tolerate any more of their horse [censored].

As for the walmart thing: I hope your response was to ignore her and to put the toothbrush and razor back in. If you took them back, or brought out more money to pay for them separately, then you are horribly whipped and YOU need professional help. I'm serious; if that happened, you are crippled as a man. If my girlfriend ever did that, I'd just laugh at her and put them back in. If she got all serious like she meant it, I'd take the $300 off her and leave the store.

Come on, you have to be a man here. Don't let them walk over you like this. It's bad for you, and it's bad for your son to see it too.

[NicksDad1970]

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As for the walmart thing: I hope your response was to ignore her and to put the toothbrush and razor back in. If you took them back, or brought out more money to pay for them separately, then you are horribly whipped and YOU need professional help. I'm serious, if that happened, you are crippled as a man. If my girlfriend ever did that, I'd just laugh at her and put them back in. If she got all serious like she meant it, I'd take the $300 off her and leave the store.

Come on, you have to be a man here. Don't let them walk over you like this. It's bad for you, and it's bad for your son to see it too.

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At the time she was complaining about jonzing for a smoke. So I took the 300$ gave it back to her. Told her to get the F out of my sight and go smoke. I told her if 300$ meant that much to her stick it up her a$$ and I'll pay for that with OUR other money.

I was trying to use that jedi mind trick. Trying to let her realize that all the money was both of ours anyway. What did it matter?

The one thing I feel like defending myself on is I'm not the huge pushover I think I'm looking like. I can cuss, scream and go completely off when needed. But I think there are times to do that and times to realize that nothing good can come out of it.

One thing my wife doesn't seem to get is my ex can be very manipulative.

I told her that my ex is going to play the woah as me card to my son. She's going to say something like "Nick, Now mommy doesn't want to talk about this but I feel I must since you're half Brazillian. Your step mom hates people from Brazil. She made fun of the way I talk, the way I spell, and my bad grammar.

Nicholas, I've been in the USA for many years and I try so so hard to learn English. I try to learn to write it and all the other things."

Tell me how you would feel if your mother said that about your step mom.

I can tell you I would hate her with a passion.

When I told my wife that I know my ex is going to do something like that her reply was "I'll sit Nick down and tell him how wrong his mom is"

I felt like pulling my own hair out.

I told her that won't help a thing. He will just go to his moms and you can be sure she'll ask him about anything and everthing.

I told her she should sit him down and tell him that her and my ex don't agree on some things. But they both still really care for him just the same. That sometimes big people don't always get along etc.

I mean I struggle with what's right and what's wrong a lot. I understand almost too much that just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean it's right.

But how could your first thought be to go talk to Nick to tell him HIS mother is wrong? As a child my mother wasn't ever wrong about anything. Not in my eyes.

[Duke]

OP:

I say leave the woman, look out for your son, and let the baby girl grow up in a split home. It'll be better than the eventual divorce and loss of son that will make her think it's her fault.

And yes, the fact that she wants you to choose between the son and her means that you will be getting divorced, even if it's against your will.

[curtains]

End things with your wife. If you dont do it now, it will happen later anyway, with the only difference being that later on you will be sure that it's the correct decision, whereas now you might have some doubt, although you would almost surely be wrong.

[Felix_Nietzsche]

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One problem is if I tell my wife to get off my arse about my son she'll say FINE I won't pick him up from school anymore!

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So your expected to help raise her kids emotionally and financially and she has the nerve to say this to you? Your problems with her have festered for MONTHS. You ignored them and kow-towed to her emotional blackmail and you are reaping what you have sown. My GF wouldn't have the balls to say something like this to me.

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She was so pissed at that point that I kept my cool and told her that I thought she was wrong.

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I think part of having a successful relationship with a woman is to retain some selfishness. I heard a quote one time from an psychologist whose name I forgotten that went something like this:
'When men fight with women, the man wants to win. When a woman fights with a man, she secretly wants to lose.' You need to be more like the man in this quote..... YOU NEED to QUIT succumbing to her emotionally blackmail and start dishing back some emotional pain to her. BE SELFISH. Screw her feelings. You need to take care of yourself and she needs to be more respectful to you. No women respects a wimp. A women is more likely to be loving/respectful with a dick that beats her than a man that she does not respect....

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(I didn't bother telling her that she was FOS by thinking that I'd work my tail off paying all the bills and my son not have the same rights as the other children)

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<Slapping forehead while shaking head in amazement> If it were me, I would tell her you are not happy with the marriage (true, yes?). I would tell her things will need to change. Then I would give give her some rules and what she has to do. If she is dumb enough to smart-off to me after I say this, then I'd look her in the eye for as long as it takes where she averts her eyes (don't say a word while having the eye contact....NOTHING!) and I would say, "if changes don't start changing TODAY! then I will make a decision that concerns the both of us." Then I would follow through with my threat. 99% of the time, threatening divorce is a bad idea but I think you qualify for the 1%. Disclaimer: You should discount my advice here somewhat because although I have been engaged three times, I have never married. BUT....I know how to get a woman's respect and you do not have these women's respect.

I'm proud to say I'm a world-class prick and I could carry this off. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] But I have my doubts you could grow a backbone just from reading one 2+2 post.... My advice is let your anger come out and BUY THOSE BOOKS. You need to set the tone in your relationship or YOU WILL have that emotional breakdown...

[xwillience]

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It said "Robert I'm about ready to give up. I think there will be a time in the near future that you will have to choose between me and Nicholas".

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i fail to see how you could possibly have a question after you read this.

[MicroBob]

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"Robert I'm about ready to give up. I think there will be a time in the near future that you will have to choose between me and Nicholas".

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Divorce your new wife. She is batshit insane.

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Yeah, I pretty much have to agree with this.

there's all the jealousy of your closeness with your kid (which another person could actually find endearing I believe).

And that stuff about having to get a bigger house and then she decides she doesn't want to work anymore and THEN having attitude about having to sell the current house even though you tell her it HAS to be done or else you'll have no money.


Seriously, what planet is she freaking living on?


And feeling obligated to get in some e-mail cat-fight with your ex?
Arrgh, arrgh, arrgh.


It's nice that you are trying so hard with all the parties involved.
But I have to agree that your current wife sounds pretty freaking nuts to me.


Strange similarities between me and the OP:
I'm 35, my GF is 29 (he said they are 35/28).
My current GF is from South America.
Nick and both live in the same city and both worked as BJ dealers in Tunica.
I'm once divorced.


Big difference, of course, is that I have zero kids and neither does my GF.
But reading of all our similarities kind of stood out to me.


I really feel for your situation and I'm not sure there's a way to win here.

she is completely impractical with all this stuff.

This all really sucks.


Lets go to the Horseshoe in Tunica (or your casino of choice) and I'll get you loaded.
Probably won't solve a whole lot...but that's the best I can come up with unfortunately.

good luck to you and your kids and your situation.

[MicroBob]

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End things with your wife. If you dont do it now, it will happen later anyway, with the only difference being that later on you will be sure that it's the correct decision, whereas now you might have some doubt, although you would almost surely be wrong.

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agreed.
katy and others have brought up the fact that they have a new kid.
Well, they're having an AWFUL lot of trouble this early.

Chances on things getting better between them = extremely slim.
Chances on her actually behaving rationally and sanely = extremely slim.


I think a divorce would actually be better for the long-term prospects of the youngest child involved as opposed to two parents who are going to despise each other more and more as the relationship continues.

It really sucks. And I know that heated things get said sometimes.
But she is crossing the line over and over again just because he is pointing out,
"Ummm, we have no money because you aren't working anymore. Selling the house is our only choice"
and
"I'm going to take my son to the football game even though I'm not feeling well."


Seriously...between
"well, you always have to do the right thing, don't you??" (WTF?!?!) and
"you have to choose between me and your son"
and
"I don't want to sell our house even though we have no money"


it seems obvious that she's just irrational and bizarre and it seems likely that things are only going to get worse.

[Banks2334]

NicksDad,
Yes your wives are nuts, but you are just as much to blame for chosing these women and reproducing with them. Time for all of you to grow up.

[curtis012]

[ QUOTE ]
The one thing I feel like defending myself on is I'm not the huge pushover I think I'm looking like. I can cuss, scream and go completely off when needed. But I think there are times to do that and times to realize that nothing good can come out of it.

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cussing, screaming, and going off completly have nothing to do with being a pushover.