Trip Report - Burping directly in some annoying dude's face (Bike)

[PocketJokers72]

This quite possibly should be moved to BBV, depending on point of view.

I'm at the world famous Bicycle Casino playing a fantastically horrible game of 100NL and still managing to lose a little. I am in the 2 seat, and the 1 seat is the proto-typical "Sir Talks-a-Lot". I mean constantly. I mean I'm not sure when he had a chance to breathe.

You know the type, who calls out what he thinks you have even when he isn't in the hand, and chats each and every dealer up about how many jackpots they've dealt, and generally appears to have taken 73 hits too many of coke and meth and topped it off with a quintuple espresso. On top of that, he's a 'close-talker'. This fact becomes important later, as the title suggests.

At any rate, I haven't said two words, but this guy was on for at least an hour straight when the following scenario came up. Everyone at the table ranges from "completely perturbed" to "actively annoyed", including the dealer. Mostly in the form of "do you EVER shut the F up?"

I was just finishing my wonderful (and free) lamb kabobs over rice washed down with my 4th Heineken when he started in on me.

"Hey, how was that food? How often do you play here? Was it good? Do you think that guy had Aces? I think he had Kings! Is that Beef? How was that food anyways? ...etc etc."

I give a few 1 word answers like "yes", "no", "sometimes", between my last few nibbles and finishing my beer, when he asks me again if the food was good. Just as the word "yeah" is coming out of my mouth, so is the gassy byproduct of my dinner and Heinekens. I disgorged an immense and altogether unexpected (even unto myself) "YEEEEAAAAHHHH" into his face at a range of 6-8 inches.

The word "stink" is not large enough to convey the power of this putrid emission, and it was WAY worse than merely "bad". Imagine the worst thing you've ever smelled, being forcefully blown into your face. OK, now you are close to the imagery I'm trying to convey.

He was silent, and looked a little pale. He was absolutely stunned. To be honest, I almost knocked myself out with it. The only thing I think that may have been worse would be if I pulled my pants down and jettisoned poo-gas directly into his nostrils at the same range while his eyes were held open. Even the dealer was gagging at this disgusting aroma.

The entire table including the dealer had to stop playing for at least a few minutes. Fortunately, this guy actually shut up for those two minutes while he was regaining consciousness and standing up to get his composure back.

After that he kept talking, but left me alone. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Thank you for letting me share. I'm still laughing about it.

[Ignignokt]

Together with Jamie Gold, this should help preserve the stereotype of the typical LA poker player for another few years at least.

[steamboatin]

I'm glad it was accidental.

[Hairball]

I laughed. I cried. I wiped the coffee off of my monitor.

[Hellmouth]

awsome

[ragecg]

Personally, the aformentioned "poo-gas" would've been +ev.

[Black Aces 518]

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I'm sad it was accidental.

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