So my brother's girlfriend got raped last night ... - Page 6

wet work · #51 09-24-2006, 04:35 AM

What a crappy situation. I hope things work out. Karma is a bitch and this douchebag will end up paying one way or another.

StacysMom · #52 09-24-2006, 04:42 AM

If my GF came back with a similar story, and didn't want to go to the police, I would end the relationship because:

1. Shes lying about cheating on me.

or

2. Shes not strong enough to stand up for herself, and thats not a girl I would consider marrying.

I can't imagine tha bagage that these two would have to deal with for the rest of their relationship.

Don't flame me too hard?

goodsamaritan · #53 09-24-2006, 04:48 AM

[ QUOTE ]
She "wakes up" and although she realizes what is going on is too drunk to do anything about it. The next morning, the guy tells her "all I did was give you a back massage" and insists that nothing happened yet can't even get simple facts straight such as where each of them supposedly slept (he claimed she slept on the couch despite the fact she woke up in his bed).

[/ QUOTE ]

Before everyone forms a lynch mob, allow me to play devil's advocate (if you don't understand that term stop reading now).

If she was so drunk that she couldn't do anything, then why are we taking what she says as absolute fact? You can't have it both ways. If she was so drunk then you have to accept that her version of the story is at least somewhat unreliable. Maybe she told the guy that she wanted to bang him and then she came to she had second thoughts. And if she was being raped, why didnt she scream at all or put up any kind of resistance? Surely if this were a party someone would have heard if she was being raped, right?

Now I'm sure everyone will flame me because that is the PC thing to do in situations like this but these are exactly the type of questions she will have to answer if she wants to prosecute this guy.

Stuey · #54 09-24-2006, 04:52 AM

[ QUOTE ]
2. Shes not strong enough to stand up for herself, and thats not a girl I would consider marrying.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have never been raped but I imagine you don't find out if you are actually "strong" enough to stand up to it until you have been raped. And really is being able to "stand up" to it impressive?

You got exiled from oot right? What for? You didn't "stand up" to [censored] till when? Till he left? gl with NT you will need it. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

NT! · #55 09-24-2006, 04:57 AM

samaritan,

instances of false reports of rape or sexual assault are extremely rare relative to the number of reported rapes. if my girlfriend came to me and claimed to have been raped I would never question the veracity of that. furthermore, the circumstances just make it extremely unlikely that anything resembling consensual sex could possibly have occured. what kind of guy picks up girls who are passed out drunk and carries them to his house thinking it's ok to have sex with them? from my perspective, if this was my girl, even if the guy swore on his life she said it was ok, how can you possibly think she is in a condition to consent?

bottom line, this is rape in the legal sense no matter what. a guy who is clearly sober enough to know the difference took advantage of a girl who clearly wasn't.

also,

[ QUOTE ]
And if she was being raped, why didnt she scream at all or put up any kind of resistance? Surely if this were a party someone would have heard if she was being raped, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

reread the OP, the guy took her to another location. someone who is disoriented, drunk and frightened might not start yelling and screaming if they woke up in the middle of a rape. it is a shocking and horrifying experience and some people seem to just crumble when it happens to them.

honestly i am shocked that people are treating this is anything but a clear-cut crime.

NT

wet work · #56 09-24-2006, 04:58 AM

[ QUOTE ]
If my GF came back with a similar story, and didn't want to go to the police, I would end the relationship because:

1. Shes lying about cheating on me.

or

2. Shes not strong enough to stand up for herself, and thats not a girl I would consider marrying.

I can't imagine tha bagage that these two would have to deal with for the rest of their relationship.

Don't flame me too hard?

[/ QUOTE ]

Here's the thing though, yes I think a lot of guys would at least have this thought go through their minds at some point. The other side of it is a ton of rapes go unreported, it's such a traumatic/invasive experience that girls probably just don't want to have drag on and on. I couldn't imagine having to prolong the whole thing, it would be very hard. Not to mention all the other reasons girls have for not reporting rape. It's definitely one of the reasons rape is such a heinous crime.

We can't really sit in judgement from our computers without even knowing these people.

I do agree though, the relationship is going to be seriously affected by this.

NT! · #57 09-24-2006, 05:00 AM

stuey,

i am unable to find any record of this exile, can you elaborate? stacysmom, anything to say in your defense? also, your post is awful, just brutally bad, and i hope nobody is ever in a position of needing any kind of support or empathy from you because you sound like a piece of [censored].

NT

Stuey · #58 09-24-2006, 05:13 AM

NT,

The deal

with the devil

a nark is born [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Stuey

CharlieDontSurf · #59 09-24-2006, 05:15 AM

Soph year of college..a good friend of mine got raped by one of her friend's best friends. guy was one of those lame overly cocky frat douche bags who drove a range rover and had serious money. She didn't want to press charges ,was pretty messed up, and ended up leaving school...I knew her thru her older brother who I was friends with growing up etc...

Two people apparantly caught him walking home one night(the university wasnt in a great part of town) and beat the crap out of him, took his wallet and watch...and then held out both his hands and broke/fractured all of his fingers and thumbs using what looked like a night stick.

The kid never filed a police report...

I was playing poker with the brother and several of longtime friends that night

You really got to be careful walking in bad neighborhoods. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Sigurd · #60 09-24-2006, 05:17 AM

goodsamaritan> You make some good points

[ QUOTE ]

And if she was being raped, why didnt she scream at all or put up any kind of resistance?

[/ QUOTE ]

You will be suprised how irrational many people will act if they are abused.
One of the most frequent advices on anti-rape/violence sites is that you should cry out for help, even though it seems so obvious.