Best Quick Joke you know

[ChipStorm]

Two guys walking down the street see a dog lying on the sidewalk licking his balls.

First guy smiles and says, "Man, I wish I could do that."

Second guy says, "You should probably pet him first."

[107ofclubs]

Why Cant Women Drive

-There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

Why was a woman staring at a blank piece of paper

-She was reading women's rights

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
-A pizza could feed a family of four

How many ethiopians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Two. One to screw it in and the other to eat the cardboard packaging that it comes in.

[AJGibson]

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby
A: <font color="white">A dead baby in a clown suit</font>

[Slow Play Ray]

I'm not gonna read the whole thread, so my apologies if this is a repeat:

Q: What has 9 arms and sucks?

A: Def Leppard

[ScottieK]

Q: What do you call a thousand black guys buried up to their necks?

A: Afro-turf.

Henny Youngman: Take my wife, please. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way home.

Frank Sinatra: I was so skinny as a kid, my eyes were single file. Between that and my belly button, my old man thought I was a clarinet.

ScottieK

[billymonk]

" " - Helen Keller

[Boris]

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What do you call a quadraplegic in the water?





Bob.

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no arms no legs on your doorstep? matt
in a pothole? phil
on the wall? art
no legs? neil
one legged woman? eileen
theres more

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on the beach? Sandy
in the woods? Russell

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i told you there was more
on a poker table? chip

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Chinese one legged woman: Irene

[dinopoker]

A woman is taking a shower, as she's coming out her son walks in and sees her and says, "mommy, what's that?"

Flustered and unsure what to say, she lies, "You're daddy was chopping wood with his axe, and he accidentally hit me right here."

The kid says, "wow, he hit you right in the kunt?"

[Fenster]

Post deleted by Ryan Beal

[jschaud]

mom and son at the zoo.

the kid points at the elephant and says "mommy what is that?"

"its his trunk"

"no mommy, i mean underneath" (pointing at his [censored])

"uh, uh, thats nothing"

the next week, the boys father takes him to the zoo. they get to the elephant and the boy says "hey dad, what is that on the elephant?"

"well son, thats his trunk"

"no, i mean underneath. i asked mom and she said it was nothing."

"son, ive spoiled that woman"