OT: I hate my life

[Indiana]

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if even indy can make it in life, the rest of us have got it made.

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hahahahaha

[epiLog]

I think we all have similar thoughts from time to time. I've had them and I'm usually able to treat them with some music/movie-watching and next day when I wake up they are gone. It might not be as easy for you but somehow I think that we all have to learn how to appreciate life and take it for what it is.

During the last 2-3 years I've seen 2 semi-close friends die and it really gets you thinking. The first was a classmate for 9 years. He fell of his moped and hit his head in the ground (wearing a helmet) but afterwards he had nothing but a sligth concussion. One year later his parents found him dead in his bed and it was later confirmed that the death was caused by a slowly developed bleeding within his head that he got from the accident. He was 17.

The other guy was a soccer teammate that lived a few houses away from our. He fainted at the job one day and was taken to the hospital where doctors found a brain tumour that was too far developed to stop and he died a couple of weeks later. He was 20.

Now obviously I'm not hoping that someone close to you dies but in one way it has really helped me appreciate being here. That could so easily have been me and every time I think about it I get the feeling that I'm freerolling.



///epi

[soma_]

1. Learned Optimism by Mark Seligman. GET THIS ASAP.
2. Authentic Happiness by Mark Seligman.
3. Bristol Lair and FastSeduction. Search for stuff on "inner game".
4. Focus on SNGs. They're the easiest. PM me for my AIM name and I'll help you out with hands. Ask other players for the same.

[ravensfan]

Dude, i commend you for coming out to say this.

There's a bunch of things i wanted to say, but the posters have covered many of them.
I don't want to sound trite by any means, but i want to put it simply... So here goes:


If you don't like your life - do things to like it. That means two things to me: have fun doing things you like, and do things that give you meaning . I have fun playing sports, but there's not tonnes of meaning there. I don't always have the most fun visiting family, but it feels good at the end of the day to connect.

be nice . ie. try to give people real compliments - usually just telling people what you're thinking anyways. I find that's a great way out of a dark spot, b/c giving compliments usually earns a smile, and also allows you to feel good about yourself. Take time out for people to really listen to what they're saying and see where they're coming from. This really helps connect to people and make them like you - ESPECIALLY GIRLS who just want someone to listen and understand them. (but at the same time flirt and not give in, but that's a whole different story)

If you don't like things about yourself: fix them. If you don't like how you look, work out and buy better clothes and get a cool haircut style. Seriously, it's ridiculous how easy it is to get in shape and start feeling better instantly. - especially when girls start noticing. Also, working out is the best way to give confidence - you're setting goals and routinely meeting them.

If you don't like where you are in life: change it up. Not everyone succeeds in everything (except maybe unarmed, but f*ck him that lucky bast*rd!), so do things that you're good at and that you like. It's usually easier to be good at things you like, and easier to like things you're good at. University is a good place to find both things that you like and things that you're good at.

Also, i'm going to assume you're young and not in university: go to university . I played chess and had pimples in high school, didn't drive (and needed to in the rural area) and didn't get girls or have tonnes of friends. I went to uni after a couple of years off, and found that i was uber-popular, had tonnes of friends around people i gelled/clicked with, and met all kinds of girls, but ultimately, really found out who i was and became him. (i'm still changing, but you get it).

Develop meaningful friendships best way to get friends is to be a friend, so reconnect with people you geniunely like and enjoy being around. Help them if you can, and in so doing you also help yourself.

Stop playing poker if only for a while. THere's so many things that are more fun, more meaningful, more socially connective, and less destructive when you're in a bad phase than poker. Beats, when you're in a dark place, are rough, and you can really start to feel walls close in. F*ck that. It's summer, go have fun.

oh yeah, you talk about gay sh*t, i just used the word "uber", so you're fine!

Yeah, about the popularity thing: I'm 29. and for the most part, the small people in high school who were "cool" suck at life. They suck really bad. They DO work at blockbuster, or for their parents, they are driving their parents car still, they are wearing the same clothes and same hair style, lots of them live at home and are either single or with girls they'd rather not be with (ie. would upgrade quickly for the type of girls i'm gunning). You know who they are: they're the handsome, cool, guys and girls who wouldn't have been as cool if they weren't such big exclusive d*ckheads, they were intimidated by people smarter/funnier/nicer/more athletic/better looking etc than them, and they were cool b/c they wouldn't let anyone in their club and sometimes b/c they had the money to look good (b/c in high school fashion means tonnes). Honestly, most of these mean spirited types that i knew have no future. The good hearted ones, who were nice and accepting to everyone, etc. most of them are doing well. Maybe it's a small sample size, i dunno... But think about it - don't be results based especially from high school results.

[ravensfan]

Dude, it's anything but gay.
Being strong enough to admit you might need help and/or to let something off your chest isn't gay or weak at all- it's strong and the sign of a true winner (b/c you're not comfortable with things and want to make a change for the better).

[epiLog]

This is a conversation from the documentary "Comedian". I don't know how much it fits your problem but I think it's excellent and might help.

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Orny: It’s just like you’re getting to a point like how much longer can I take it?
Jerry: What? Is time running out? You had a time?
Orny: I’m getting older.
Jerry: Please.
Orny: I’m getting older. It’s not… Listen. I’m 29. I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much of my life. The last 20 years…
Jerry: You’ve got something else you’d rather been doing? Another appointment? Another locations you gotta be?
Orny: Not necessarily.
Jerry: No, not necessarily.
Orny: I saw my friends are making a lot of money on Wall Street. I’ve seen like… you know…
Jerry: What?
Orny: I just see that like, my friends are…you know, they’re moving up. And I don’t, I’m worried that…
Jerry: They’re moving up?
Orny: They’re moving up!
Jerry: Are you out of your mind?
Orny: No, I’m not out of my mind. I just aa…
Jerry: This has nothing to do with… your friends.
Orny: I’ve upset you. I’ve upset you… (could be something else that Orny was saying, I couldn't make it out)
Jerry: No. No. This is a special thing. This has nothing to do with ‘making it’, or…
Orny: Did you ever stop and compare your life and go, OK I’m 29. My friends are all married. They all have kids. They all have houses. They have some sort a sense of formality.
Jerry: Ugh… let me tell you a story…
Orny: What do you tell your parents? What do you, you know, how do you deal with that?
Jerry: What do you tell your parents?
Orny: Yeah, how do you… ?
Jerry: This is you… (holding his own forehead, laughing, smacking the table) (Pause.) Your parents? (Pause) Let me story about uh, this is my favorite story about show business.









LA Orchestra. They were doing some gig somewhere. They can’t land where they’re supposed to land because it’s winter, snowy night. So they have to land like in this field, and walk to the gate. And they’re dressed in their suites. They’re ready to play. They’re carrying their instruments. So they’re walking through the snow. And it's wet. And it’s slushy. And in a distance, they see this little house. And there’s light on the inside. There’s a pole of smoke coming out of the chimney. They come up to the house. And they look in the window and in the window they see this, this family. There’s a guy and his wife. She’s beautiful. Two kids. They’re all sitting around the table and they’re smiling, they’re laughing, and they’re eating. There’s fire in the fireplace. These guys are standing there in their suites, and they’re wet and they’re shivering. They’re holding their instruments. They were watching this incredible northern closeout. One guy turns to the other guy and goes, “How do people live like that?” (Pause and smile) That’s what it’s about! That's what it's about (in slower tone).

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[gumpzilla]

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You did not mention that you are considering suicide, or that you are troubled with suicidal thoughts; but your posts sounds desperate (and desperate people do desperate things).....Please seek professional help...Soon.

I have fought depression and feelings of self-doubt all my life....It's no fun....Get Help

It isn't likely that that anything can be said here that will truly help because no matter how well-intentioned, no one here knows you well enough to be able to get to the core issue(s).....Get help

Playing poker, by yourself in a darkened room, can't possibly be the answer....Try something else...I would humbly suggest that helping others is a worthy path

Good Luck.....Keep us posted

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SFB with another solid advice post.

Although I think he's right that people here don't really know you well enough to address the real problem, it does sound like you need a change. I think it can be just about anything; I think the key is to do something where there is relatively obvious evidence that you are doing something worthwhile. It doesn't even have to be something that everybody would think is worthwhile, just something you do. In my experience, it's a fair bit harder to be down on yourself after that.

[cakewalk]

i think you need to quit being a vagina. yes it's really lame what you're doing (posting on here about this). why dont you spend less time feeling sorry for yourself/acting like a little emo pubescent and do something about it. identify what you feel are shortcomings. work your way up to where you as a person will be happy with yourself. theres plenty of literature on being positive. send me a pm and i'll give you advice. work on one aspect of your life at a time.

[gumpzilla]

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i think you need to quit being a vagina.

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And you need to quit being a dick. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Seriously, while posting on here is hardly going to solve all of his problems, it at least indicates a willingness to begin thinking about the issue and how to proceed. I think that's the first step. I'm not convinced of how much merit there is in this tough love approach from total strangers; maybe it would work if this were a buddy of yours, but I'm still inclined to doubt it.

[ravensfan]

[ QUOTE ]
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i think you need to quit being a vagina.

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And you need to quit being a dick. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Seriously, while posting on here is hardly going to solve all of his problems, it at least indicates a willingness to begin thinking about the issue and how to proceed. I think that's the first step. I'm not convinced of how much merit there is in this tough love approach from total strangers; maybe it would work if this were a buddy of yours, but I'm still inclined to doubt it.

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solid post. i agree - the world already has one dr. phil, that's more than enough