Funniest thing ever said / heard in a LIVE poker game.

[StepBangin]

[vikefan24]

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This thread seriously sucks without pics

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OP

[pa3lsvt]

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I was at the WSOP at Binions in the late 90's sitting in the bleachers watching a final table and a man and Kathy Liebert were walking toward each other when they recognized each other and broke into the usual chatter of long time no see, etc.

Then the man looks the woman over and says, so you're pregnant, eh?

She looks at him matter a factly and says, nah, just fat.


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FYP

On topic: Moral of this thread is "act like you've been there before." Of course, in this age of "center of my universe", many people think slowrolling is funny. That's fine. I'll take their money eventually, and quietly stack their chips after I do.

[ZenMasterFlex]

I call people tw*t alot. That is always funny.

[ottsville]

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you have no sense of humor

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...says the guy who steals his jokes from "Family Matters".

Oh my.

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Not sure when F.M aired but I believe this joke was originall on Only Fools and Horses

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I believe it was also on an episode of MASH.

[testaaja]

"I will eat a kilogram of [censored] if someone has two jacks", the last sentence of my friend on JJxxx board me tossing two jacks. I must remind him of this.

[PerDoom]

At a live casino I overheard an Asian guy giving his girlfriend some tips. Some of the gems included,

* "Raising preflop is dumb. It doesn’t accomplish anything."

* "You played that well. You’ll win in the long run." Said after his girlfriend never raised a single time with AA.

* "You have to play cards that have a chance to make big hands. Like play any two suited cards and cards that can make straights."

[Jon1000]

Local pro drags a heads up pot after a nice, but not bad beat, river card. Other guy in hand says, "Nice hand, but I've got another $1200 tip for you. Your fly is unzipped and it looks like you're selling sausage."

[mezmer]

You know what else is funny? When you put a particularly bad beat on a guy, you go "Omg it's not your day - earlier, I [censored] your mom, gave her herpes, and poured sugar in your gas tank! LOLOOLLLOLOL!!!one!11!"

[propaganda]

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What about Jesus? Isn't he the closest thing to Jesus as this world has seen?

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Naw, I put Carl Winslow as a 55-45 favorite in that situation.