Microfolks in Vegas

[Buzz-cp]

tyler, awesome

[V4P]

Damnit dude, now I'm craving some In-N-Out

[tyler_cracker]

Ignignokt calls me today around 6. Having finally hauled my lazy ass to the store, i am busy making Hamburger Helper (Stroganoff flavor). Ignig is up some amount of money at Caesars (f'ing luckbox) and wants to know what's up. My roommate and his girlfriend have just invited me to pub trivia at Fado at Green Valley Ranch. I invite Ignig, he agrees, so i jackass down to Bally's to pick him up.

We do okay at trivia, ending up on the bubble, one point out of the money. Had we trusted Ignig's instincts on what trait Joe Frazier, Leon Spinks, and some other boxers have in common (all had defeated Muhammad Ali), or my instincts on some quote from _American Beauty_, or whatever, we would have walked away with $10 in Fado gift certificates. Instead, we walked away up several pints of Pepsi and with the following exchange.

It is round 4 of pub trivia. These three questions come in succession:

Q4: Which country was added to the G7 in 1995, thus forming the G8?

Q5: What did Howard Carter open on November 4, 1922?

Q6: What famous dog won a medal for courage during World War I?

At the end of the round, the MC was reviewing the correct answers.

MC: "Question 4. Which country was added to the G7 in 1995, thus forming the G8?"

My roommate: "Your mom!" [a few chuckles in the crowd]

MC: "The answer is Russia."

Our table: "Awww..."[Russia had been Ignig's guess, but my roommate and i voted for China instead.]

MC: "Question 5. What did Howard Carter open on November 4, 1922?"

My roommate: "Your mom!" [more chuckles this time]

MC: "The answer is the tomb of King Tutenkahmen."

Our table: "Yay!" [we got this one right.]

MC: "Question 6. What famous dog -- shut. the [censored]. up."

(The answer to question 6, as Vince Van Patten can tell you, is Rin-Tin-Tin.)

After all this, Ignig and i head to the poker room for some hot 4/8 action. We get seated at separate tables, both of which are awesome, so i can't tell you any details about his session, except that he ended the night down $10.

I take the 4 seat at my table when my name is called and find that i am sitting at the nitty local end of the game. There is a very intense late-20sish woman wearing big noise-cancelling headphones, a talkative woman to her immediate right, and a couple big older dudes that i have to squeeze between to post my blind.

I don't think i've ever been in a place where so many people had so much incorrect or misleading information about so many things. It's like a goddamn White House press conference.

When i sit down, one big older dude is telling the other BOD that he likes to play at the Wynn, and that he takes 95 up to Flamingo, and then over to Wynn, which is 5 miles closer than taking 215->15->Spring Mountain Road. He does not mention that the ~5 miles you spend on Flamingo have about 923487145204912834123 traffic lights, most of which are red at any given time.

The table is your average 4/8 table, with lots of limping and cold-calling. Shortly after i come in, a middle-aged Asian dude sits down, plays a couple hands, then straddles when he is in position to do so. Intense Woman 3bets, 80 million people coldcall, Straddler 4bets, Intense Woman 5bets.

Talkative Woman, one of the coldcallers, says, "The cap is 4 bets."

Intense Woman says, "No, it was a straddle, so i can raise again."

Talkative Woman: "No, you can't." (this is wrong)

Dealer: "No, you can't." (wrong)

Intense Woman: "Ok, call the floor."

Talkative Woman: "No, it's a bet and 3 raises..."

Dealer: "...cap is $16"

Dealer and nits on my end of the table: [lots of arguing, most of it fallacious]

Hero: "Floor on 14!"

The dealer finally stops arguing and being wrong and calls the floor. The floor initially gives an incorrect ruling, ("yes, the cap is $16" [wrong!]), but then DOES THE MATH OUT LOUD ("8 plus 4 is 12...16...20. The cap is at $20.") and finally comes to the correct ruling.

The hand is finally played out and Asian dude rakes in a gigantic pot with K8 (runner-runner two pair) after getting all in on the turn.

Now, suddenly, it seems that the entire table has gone on wild monkey tilt. We don't see a flop for less than 3 bets * 5 ways for the next several hands. Talkative Woman raises 3 hands in a row (each time, she tells us later, with KQ), and each time ends up with enough to call to the river, where she loses. On the last of these 3 hands, she turns trip Qs, only to lose to Asian straddler guy's AQ.

At some point during all these shenanigans, BOD to my immediate right says that he had moved to this side of the table earlier in the evening because he got tired of the crazy gamblers on the other side of the table straddling all the time.

BOD: "It really yanks my chain when people straddle my blind." (yes, he actually said the phrase "yanks my chain" out loud. In public.)

Dealer: [to BOD] "$4 big blind, sir."

Hero: "LIVE STRADDLE."

I pick up TT in my straddle. Guy to my left raises UTG, only 827 people coldcall, i re-raise (wondering if we're going to get to have the argument about how many raises are allowed again), everyone calls.

Flop is all undercards. I bet every street, and lose a super-giant pot when Talkative Woman check/overcalls the river K with AK.

A couple of times during the session, Intense Woman asks to see a mucked hand at showdown. Once, the dealer tells her that she can't ask to see it because she didn't call the final bet.

"That's not the rule," Intense Woman says (wrong).

"Yes it is. So-and-so-floor-guy said so."

"Then they must have just changed it." (wrong)

"No, it's been that way since we opened. It's not that way in no limit games, but it is in limit."

The nits at my end of the table then proceed to discuss that GVR is the only place that does it this way (wrong), that the floor is incorrect for saying the rule is in place to prevent collusion (also wrong), and that the IWTSTH rule is a good idea (again, wrong).

At one point, Talkative Woman misses her blind, then posts $6 in front of the button. I take back my SB, but as the dealer starts to deal, he says "Small blind, big blind."

"Um, isn't she buying the button?"

"You can't buy the button. Most places won't let you do that." (guess what? wrong.)

I post my blind as the dealer explains this, but then Talkative Woman proceeds to explain in painstaking detail about how her post is like a regular post but the button will go past her and i will get it next hand blah blah. I ignore her and tell the dealer that, in fact, most houses in Vegas *will* let you buy the button.

"Other Station casinos?" he asks, incredulous.

"No," i reply. "Some people like to play where they don't take a $5 rake."

Ultimately, it's getting late, and the table gets down to 6-handed, but the ridiculous action continues. I wait patiently to pick up some cards and take advantage of the crazy shorthanded LAGginess, but end up stuck two racks. C'est la guerre.

Ignig listens patiently to my bad beat stories all the way back to MGM. He tells me he'll probably be playing poker tomorrow, and that i should give him a call. I promise to do so, then drive home. I again miss every light on Flamingo. And i should really go to bed.

But hey, if you're ever at GVR, the cheese dip appetizer with potato-bread-tortilla-dipping-thingies at Fado is hella good. And no one in the poker room has any idea what they're talking about.

[Ampelmann]

Tyler, great report.

BTW, whats a straddle? And what does it mean to buy the button?

[MrWookie]

A straddle is a double size big blind you can announce that you'll post prior to the cards being dealt. You then get to act last preflop. It's different from just a regular raise, because if it gets cold called around, you can look down, see AA, and then raise yourself. It also doesn't count as a raise for the purposes of capping.

[Ampelmann]

[ QUOTE ]
A straddle is a double size big blind you can announce that you'll post prior to the cards being dealt. You then get to act last preflop. It's different from just a regular raise, because if it gets cold called around, you can look down, see AA, and then raise yourself. It also doesn't count as a raise for the purposes of capping.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I wonder why a decent player would want to play in a cardroom allowing something like that. For the guy who plays poker only for fun, throwing in a little "gamble" like that may be nice, but isn't this a bit annoying for a more serious player?

Of course, it puts dead money in the pot, but I suppose it also increases variance, since you have to play a marginal hand more often against a "raise".

[Buzz-cp]

[ QUOTE ]
Thanks. I wonder why a decent player would want to play in a cardroom allowing something like that. For the guy who plays poker only for fun, throwing in a little "gamble" like that may be nice, but isn't this a bit annoying for a more serious player?


[/ QUOTE ]

When I see someone straddle, I buckle myself in and enjoy the ride.

[MrWookie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A straddle is a double size big blind you can announce that you'll post prior to the cards being dealt. You then get to act last preflop. It's different from just a regular raise, because if it gets cold called around, you can look down, see AA, and then raise yourself. It also doesn't count as a raise for the purposes of capping.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I wonder why a decent player would want to play in a cardroom allowing something like that. For the guy who plays poker only for fun, throwing in a little "gamble" like that may be nice, but isn't this a bit annoying for a more serious player?

Of course, it puts dead money in the pot, but I suppose it also increases variance, since you have to play a marginal hand more often against a "raise".

[/ QUOTE ]

In isolation, a straddle is strictly -EV. Sometimes, though, using straddles can loosen up the table a lot, and increase future profits.

[Stoo_Pot]

Sounds like there's so many retards at live games. Funny story.

[tyler_cracker]

Yesterday, i was supposed to finally buckle down and get some work done, but it didn't work out that way. The previous night's antics at GVR (plus the subsequent trip report write-up) kept me up way past my bedtime, so i got a late start. I slept right through a phone call from a Friend of mine, with whom i was supposed to meet up later.

By the time i had dicked around on 2+2, showered, and made lunch (leftover Hamburger Helper -- natch), it was time to go meet my Friend and purchase a [fraction] of an [unit of imperial measurement] of [controlled substance]. I had to meet her way over on the other side of town. Driving just about anywhere in Vegas is a chore (poor urban planning, poor traffic management, and poor drivers), but if you have the misfortune of needing to go west of the 15, particularly around getting-off-work time, it's a catastrophe.

By the time i drove over, met my Friend, and was heading back, i was certainly in no mood to do any real work, so i called Ignignokt.

"Hey," he said. "I'm at the Wynn. I just got here."

"Ok, i'm on my way."

I found Ignig at a 4/8 table. I asked if he wanted to stay here. He was indifferent, so i suggested we head over to the Venetian and take a crack at the 6/12 game there. He agreed, then peeked down at ATo UTG and folded.

"Wow, you fold that there?"

"Yeah, offsuit."

We discussed this as we headed over to the V. I told him that i virtually always open ATo there, and that i thought Eeeegah, at least, would back me up on that. He fell back on SSHE and quoted something about AT being "a deceptively strong hand" in that it was easily dominated. We agreed to disagree on that, but we agreed to agree that the sidewalk between Wynn and Venetian will be a lot less retarded when they stop doing construction next to it.

I need to break from the narrative momentarily to elucidate what a giant fashion disaster i am. In addition to the Tevas with socks (standard), today i am wearing a black hat that says "650" in large white numbers, and one of my favorite t-shirts, which bears the slogan "VAGINAS ARE WEIRD".

So Ignig and i arrive at the Venetian and i go to check out The List. The only screen i can find which has The List on it is the monitor at the brush desk. So i'm leaning over the desk to see if the 6/12 is running and how long the wait is, when i hear someone say, "Sir?"

I ignore it, because i'm trying to read the list, but he says, "Sir?" again.

I look up at the floor who is addressing me. "What?"

"Are you going to play here?" I assume he is annoyed because i am leaning over the desk, but this annoys me because if they would put The List up somewhere else, i wouldn't *have* to lean over the desk.

"Maybe," i reply, "i'm trying to read The List."

"Well if you are, i'm going to have to ask you to turn your shirt inside-out."

I pause and look at him, trying to get a read. "Wait, are you serious?"

"Yes, i'm afraid so."

"Um, okay, let me think about that."

Ignig is peckish anyway, so we head up to the mall to find him a snack. Ignig, ever the voice of wisdom, explains that the Venetian is trying to be an upscale joint. I mutter something about the principle of the thing, but ultimately decide that this battle is not worth it as we are already here, the 6/12 game is here, and i sold out on my ideals long ago anyway.

Ignig buys a slice of pizza from a clerk who is either unable or unwilling to communicate with us (Ignig: "What are these toppings? Is it a margarhita?" Clerk: [says nothing, grabs the indicated slice of pizza and sticks it in the oven]). We head back downstairs, and i say, "okay, i will turn my shirt inside-out, but i'm going to do it in front of that floor guy." Ignig indicates that it won't be the most embarrassing thing one of his friends has done in public.

So we arrive at the room and the floor guy in question is nowhere to be seen, so i take my shirt off and start turning it inside out. While i try to work out whether the tag should be in the front or the back, another floor comes over and tells us, "I don't know what's going on here, but i want a piece of the action."

The other floor appears soon after and thanks me for complying with his request. "I really do like the shirt," he says.

We had scouted the game a little earlier (6/12 is a little above my bankroll so i'm a bit intimidated by the stakes), and i was elated to find that the two open seats were to the left of a guy who had been LAGging it up while we'd watched earlier. This dude is very chatty, as is another very active player to his right. In sum, these are the perfect seats.

Ignig and i fold some hands and start joking around with these two guys. The guy two seats to my right is wearing a Cubs hat and has some giant headphones folded up and sitting on the table. He has an iPod with Gwen Stefani and Ludacris on it. I learn that his name is Dan (are you a 2+2er, Dan?). The guy to my immediate right has his girlfriend sweating him. I do not learn his name, so let's call him John.

A few hands in, John asks me about my hat. "Is it an area code?" I confirm that it is. He wants to guess where it's from.

"Somewhere up north... Minnesota maybe?" Nope. "Am i close?" Not really. He declines to guess further, so i tell him it is the area code for the area between San Jose and San Francisco.

(This area, known as The Peninsula to Bay Area-ites, and as Silicon Valley to tech industry pundits, is comprised primarily of suburbs: San Mateo, Burlingame, Redwood City, Mountain View, Palo Alto, and a bunch of other ridiculous municipalities. This is one of the reasons that "representing" 650 on a hat is so absurd, and thus one of the reasons i [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] this hat.)

John then asks me what's going on with my shirt, indicating the tag sticking out of the back. "Is this the new fashion?"

"No, the floor made me turn it inside-out because it says VAGINAS ARE WEIRD."

There is a pause, and then Dan says, "Yeah, but they *are* weird." The men at our end of the table nod general agreement. John's girlfriend then says, "wait, why are they weird?"

I am ill-prepared to tackle this question and no one else offers an answer, so we move on to the next hand.

John, who has been playing a lot of pots, busts out when Seat 2, sitting exactly opposite John, catches some two pair on the river. He rebuys, then puts his chips into 3 stacks: one short, one tall, one short. I pay no attention until Ignignokt tells him, "you need to add a pinkie". He does, and now his new stack is flipping the bird to the dude who took his old stack.

John's girlfriend doesn't like this gesture, calling it disrespectful. (Dan, Ignig, and i all find it hilarious, obviously). She walks off in a huff, then comes back and berates him.

Some hands are played. Dan asks me, "what does the 650 on your hat mean?"

Dan was sitting there 15 minutes ago when i discussed all this with John, so at first i thought he was joking. I grin and say, "It's an area code."

I then pick up a playable hand and stop paying attention. After i fold, i look over and Dan and John have bet a dollar and want to guess where the area code is.

"I'm going to say Washington," Dan says.

"I'm gonna say... California." John says.

"It is California," i say, completely unable to keep a straight face.

"Ok, let's go again. Let's guess which part of California," Dan says, putting another white chip down in front of him. John agrees.

"I think Southern California," says Dan.

"I'm going to say Northern California," says John.

"It is more to the north," i affirm, and John wins another buck.

Shortly after this, John racks up and leaves.

With John gone, Dan gets up to take a break, and Ignig and i notice that the table has gotten very, very tight. Raises are getting too much respect. Since i'm not really rolled to play in a 6/12 game, there is certainly no reason to sit in a *bad* 6/12 game, so we leave. Ignig posts a small loss, i post a small win (but it feels like a moral victory of sorts -- I will be back, Venetian brown chip game!)

We walk back to Wynn and Ignig tells me about a cool hand he played earlier in the day where he raised an undercard flop with unimproved QT. It's one of those hands where you can argue for folding, calling, or raising, so you have to make a quick situational decision. Hands like this are sexy. I encourage Ignig to post the hand when he gets back. Hopefully he will.

We arrive at the poker room and get seats at separate 4/8 tables. I build a giant pot with AA and lose to QJ, then realize i don't have the patience to get sucked out on, so i finish my orbit and rack up. I wish Ignig good luck and head home.

And i miss every light on Flamingo.