"Business" Talk

shant · #1 05-10-2006, 01:37 PM

I have never worked in a proper office setting before. I worked at design firms where everyone was my age and none of us were business school grads. Until the last couple weeks, I had never experienced the "Office Space" style work environment. I'm a freelancer so I got picked up by this startup company to do some Flash for them. These people talk like we're on another planet. What is with this?

Some guy walks into the room I'm working in after everyone left me alone to go to meetings and he grabs a chair, puts it right next to me, sits down and says "Do we need to touch base?" I almost burst into laughter, I didn't know what to do.

Some lady sends me an email and tells me to "put this on my radar." I was tempted to print out a little radar screen and keep it at my desk. Everyone constantly asks me "what is on my plate this morning." "Oh, so-and-so's plate is full." If I have a problem with something on my plate, I'll need to "run that up the ladder."

People keep referring to "Q3" and "spec'ing" things out for "Q3." Something very important must be happening in this "Q." I started calling days "D1" and months "M1." Example: "I plan on being in Vegas in Q3, M1, D9 & D10." This way I sound very important.

I'm curious. Why do people talk like this? They're not making it any easier. I've had to ask them sometimes to decode their voices and talk to me like a human because I didn't understand. None of these sayings are any shorter than what they really mean either.

For you guys that work in these environments, do you speak like this? Do you do it out of fear of not fitting in at or losing your job? Also, who starts these things? Could I make up my own code today and start passing word around the office and will it eventually spread?

I'd also like to hear your favorites because some of this stuff is too funny.

Shajen · #2 05-10-2006, 01:40 PM

shant:

they're retarded people who probably live for meetings.

I'm sorry, I said meeting, I should have said focus groups.

My bad.

Dids · #3 05-10-2006, 01:41 PM

Shant,

I say "touch base", "on my radar", "action items", "run that up the ladder/chain" and a few others. This is simply because I feel like they're the most descriptive phrases I can use that will be commonly understood.

Part of this I think is action vs. vocabulary. What's weird about the first guy isn't that he said that, it's that he kinda invaded your space to do it.

That "Q3" I don't know about, but I'm kinda pro jargon/shorthand if it helps.

Go to the strat forums and see if all that [censored] doesn't sound totally meaningless if you're not part of a culture that knows what all the lingo poker players use.

kevyk · #4 05-10-2006, 01:41 PM

They're just weak-minded individuals trying to sound intelligent and important. Just smile and nod.

Boris · #5 05-10-2006, 01:42 PM

Weird stuff man. Nobody talks like that in my office.

Gildwulf · #6 05-10-2006, 01:42 PM

Shant...I don't know how else to say this...

Do we need to touch base?

4_2_it · #7 05-10-2006, 01:43 PM

Looks pretty standard. Welcome to the real world.

MikeNaked · #8 05-10-2006, 01:43 PM

My favorite is similar to touch base and is most commonly seen within email conversations: "Let's talk."

WTF? We are talking!! Tell me wtf's on your mind!

shant · #9 05-10-2006, 01:45 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Looks pretty standard. Welcome to the real world.

[/ QUOTE ]
Nah, I'm out of here in 2 weeks and heading back to a design office where we can all wear t-shirts to work and if someone asked me to touch base we'd be doing something dirty.

disjunction · #10 05-10-2006, 01:47 PM

I think each of the phrases you used comes with it's own unique level of urgency on a scale of 1 to 10. All of the communications you mentioned sounded low priority and the person used wording that said it as such.

I work with a lot of Unix nerds, so we use the phrase "I'll ping you later" and "you're on my queue/FIFO" a lot.