#71
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
If my wife told me this my first reaction would not be "I need to tell this guy I barely know."
My first reaction would be asking my wife, "Why are you agreeing to help this women cheat on her husband??" I'd be much more worried about that kind of behaviour then this other guy's marriage. |
#72
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
obviously, you don't just tell the guy. however, since your wife told you in order for you to help keep this secret(not just for the sake of sharing information), the skank's cheating lifestyle has now affected you. it is no longer your "wife's secret." now, you can easily tell your wife that no, you aren't going to just come out and tell the guy, but as soon as the skank's actions start affecting you negatively, then you're going to rectify the situation. i think if your wife is cool, she'll understand that it is crappy of her to put this situation on you and make you feel bad about having this on your conscience while you hang out w/him and what not(i.e. i feel you should have the upper-hand here on your wife).
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#73
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
[ QUOTE ]
If my wife told me this my first reaction would not be "I need to tell this guy I barely know." My first reaction would be asking my wife, "Why are you agreeing to help this women cheat on her husband??" I'd be much more worried about that kind of behaviour then this other guy's marriage. [/ QUOTE ] Bingo! BF actually not husband but the sentiment is correct. By acting as cover for this situation it seems that your wife is approving. My question would be why? Why does she approve? Is there more to the story of why she is covering? |
#74
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] If my wife told me this my first reaction would not be "I need to tell this guy I barely know." My first reaction would be asking my wife, "Why are you agreeing to help this women cheat on her husband??" I'd be much more worried about that kind of behaviour then this other guy's marriage. [/ QUOTE ] Bingo! BF actually not husband but the sentiment is correct. By acting as cover for this situation it seems that your wife is approving. My question would be why? Why does she approve? Is there more to the story of why she is covering? [/ QUOTE ] OMG do you guys ever deal w/ women? You're thinking is way too linear and straight forward as to the wife's motives. |
#75
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] If my wife told me this my first reaction would not be "I need to tell this guy I barely know." My first reaction would be asking my wife, "Why are you agreeing to help this women cheat on her husband??" I'd be much more worried about that kind of behaviour then this other guy's marriage. [/ QUOTE ] Bingo! BF actually not husband but the sentiment is correct. By acting as cover for this situation it seems that your wife is approving. My question would be why? Why does she approve? Is there more to the story of why she is covering? [/ QUOTE ] OMG do you guys ever deal w/ women? You're thinking is way too linear and straight forward as to the wife's motives. [/ QUOTE ] Of course it is...However, it does make this thread more fun to turn towards OP's wife. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] |
#76
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
[ QUOTE ]
Yes! Your distance and non-involvement in the situation makes you the perfect person to clue him in. I feel very strongly about this. Otherwise, the people who are close to them won't say anything b/c they don't want to mess up the relationships they have with the couple, and more distant acquaintances will use the excuse that they are too distant. Edit: I was in a relationship with someone who was cheating on me for 7 years, and once I found out, everyone had a stupid excuse like the ones being put forward in this thread. Not having the information cost me years of my life, so I guess I'm biased. Edit edit: All the "wife's confidence" and social awkwardness issues can be solved by an anonymous communication if you feel it necessary. [/ QUOTE ] Not necessarily the case. If the wife only told one person, and the info gets out -- the sh*t will inevitably hit the fan between the wife and her friend. There's really no way around that at all. And then you're faced with either hoping your wife is oblivious to the obvious or with lying to her. I can't say I'd feel great about either option. This is basically the wife's secret, not the husband's. As such, action shouldn't be unilateral, but mutually decided on. Anything else is abusing the wife's trust and being selfish regarding the repercussions you subject her to. That's really not a road you want to go down at all. |
#77
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
I changed my mind on this about 3 posts down from where you got this.
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#78
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
[ QUOTE ]
obviously, you don't just tell the guy. however, since your wife told you in order for you to help keep this secret(not just for the sake of sharing information), the skank's cheating lifestyle has now affected you. it is no longer your "wife's secret." now, you can easily tell your wife that no, you aren't going to just come out and tell the guy, but as soon as the skank's actions start affecting you negatively, then you're going to rectify the situation. i think if your wife is cool, she'll understand that it is crappy of her to put this situation on you and make you feel bad about having this on your conscience while you hang out w/him and what not(i.e. i feel you should have the upper-hand here on your wife). [/ QUOTE ] Absolutely correct. Your obligation is to keep the secret your wife told you, not create new cover ups for the cheater. So don’t just go out and tell this dude his GF is cheating, but in the future if he should happen to call your house thinking his gf is with your wife, you do not need to cover up for her. |
#79
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
Blackmail her and let loose on her as she will be forced to get down with you or you would tell her BF
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#80
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Re: Do I tell a random acquaintance that his GF is cheating on him?
The way I look at it, the deciding factor who I'm closer too. As a friend of your wife I think your necesarily closer to her.
I agree that you should be under no obligation to help cover but you should also tell yoru wife that. If a friend was cheating on his girlfriend it'd be the same thing, I"m not helping him cover but i also won't tell her. |
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