DR. DOM #3: Why you shouldn't get married until you're 30

[Clarkmeister]

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Have you considered trying sex with a guy?

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Timely as always.

Seriously, I'm not sure what to say hubert. I could see MAYBE sex not comparing to taking the game winning shot in game 7 of a series, but watching a game?!?

Are you actually putting your penis in her vagina?

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Yeah. We do different positions and it's fun for the 20 minutes or so that it goes on for. But as soon as I am done I am completely disinterested in her unless she wants to talk about the game that I am watching or something else interesting. Like if she would like to have a discussion about the woes of the Knicks and advantages/disadvantages of having a Marbury/Francis backcourt.

This has been the case with every girl that I've ever had sex with. And I don't think that I'm gay, as Clarkmeister alluded to, because I didn't think that gay guys could get hard and have sex with a girl.

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You are correct. There's no way that a gay guy could get hard and have sex with a girl. Impossible.

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I guess you speak from personal experience in proving that statement wrong?

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ooooooooooh, you got me!

[HubertCumberdale]

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Have you considered trying sex with a guy?

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Timely as always.

Seriously, I'm not sure what to say hubert. I could see MAYBE sex not comparing to taking the game winning shot in game 7 of a series, but watching a game?!?

Are you actually putting your penis in her vagina?

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Yeah. We do different positions and it's fun for the 20 minutes or so that it goes on for. But as soon as I am done I am completely disinterested in her unless she wants to talk about the game that I am watching or something else interesting. Like if she would like to have a discussion about the woes of the Knicks and advantages/disadvantages of having a Marbury/Francis backcourt.

This has been the case with every girl that I've ever had sex with. And I don't think that I'm gay, as Clarkmeister alluded to, because I didn't think that gay guys could get hard and have sex with a girl.

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You are correct. There's no way that a gay guy could get hard and have sex with a girl. Impossible.

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I guess you speak from personal experience in proving that statement wrong?

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ooooooooooh, you got me!

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i'm not the one who has to bring gay crap into every thread like you do. does it give you a smug feeling inside to throw it around?

[Clarkmeister]

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ooooooooooh, you got me!

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i'm not the one who has to bring gay crap into every thread like you do. does it give you a smug feeling inside to throw it around?

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"Every thread"? Seeing as I can't think of a single other example, and you are posting under yet another handle, I think it's more than fair to ask that you cite these many threads. Otherwise, stfu or just go create another alias. I'm a little curious as to why you are so defensive here, btw.

[bowens]

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ooooooooooh, you got me!

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i'm not the one who has to bring gay crap into every thread like you do. does it give you a smug feeling inside to throw it around?

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"Every thread"? Seeing as I can't think of a single other example, and you are posting under yet another handle, I think it's more than fair to ask that you cite these many threads. Otherwise, stfu or just go create another alias. I'm a little curious as to why you are so defensive here, btw.

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Another alias? I must have missed the others. Wanna throw the readers a bone, Clark?

[HubertCumberdale]

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ooooooooooh, you got me!

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i'm not the one who has to bring gay crap into every thread like you do. does it give you a smug feeling inside to throw it around?

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"Every thread"? Seeing as I can't think of a single other example, and you are posting under yet another handle, I think it's more than fair to ask that you cite these many threads. Otherwise, stfu or just go create another alias. I'm a little curious as to why you are so defensive here, btw.

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it doesn't bother me that you call me gay. what bothers me is that you throw it around like it's an insult. does it make you feel like more of a man and less of a nerd to do that?

[Peter Harris]

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depends on how old you are and if you feel you're missing something by not banging more chicks.

Also guys, this whole thread is not supossed to be "don't get married until you 30 so you can bang more chicks," but more about waiting until you are a more all-around experienced individual.

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Ok, I'll bite. No gimmick account, no [censored], Dr. Dom can be my agony uncle.

I'm one of those guys who can't be arsed moving on after getting with a girlfriend. What i mean is, i'm 22; I had a relationship from age 16-18, and been in my current one for 3 years [23 in June]. Once i get in 'a relationship', i don't really see how/can't be bothered to get out. Then we get bogged down.

So, I am in a relationship. I got together with my partner at the end of my 1st year of college; it's coming up to the end of my 4th year. I do care about her - she is at present a perfect match for me [attractive, intelligent, doesn't want kids, likes travel and cooking etc., is cool about me playing poker].

However, she has a different view of marriage to me (i.e. I don't believe in it, but would concede i'd probably get ground down eventually). Also, and these facts may be pertinent - a) I am her first boyfriend [she hooked up with me aged 22 OMG] and b) she suffers from a (now slowly improving) mental condition [cue jokes about crazy chicks, ha ha]. the combination of these factors means it's pretty tough to bail on her (not that i want to, when she's straight she is pretty cool to be with).

So, i graduate this year, and i'm almost 100% sure there is gonna be a truckload of pressure on the relationship from our respective parents - we currently share a flat with one other person; she moves out in July, and i guess as me and my other graduate this year, we'll be leaving the city. So her parents will be leaning on her to stick with me on a permanent basis.

I am almost THE GUY for Dr. Dom to lay this post out - I am not mature enough to settle down, let alone re-conceptualise my views on marriage. I have not had enough sexual partners [my current partner is receptive and good (enough) in bed; her current medication means no orgasms though, which has made it a [censored] 14 months of sex for her [and to a lesser extent, me by proxy]. I have had 4 sexual conquests (2 one nighters, one between the two long relationships). One of these 1-nighters was last August in NYC (yes, do the math, i cheated) with a redhead [i <3 redheads, and had never banged one]. I feel no remorse for this, partner was ill and not making me happy, i was gagging for it and the redhead was handing it out on a plate. I'd hit that [censored] again given an opportunity.

What it made me realise is i have a couple of options, because banging the redhead opened my eyes to the situation. I want my current partner if a) fully well and b) capable of climaxes (i like to give something back). However, I don't want monogamy/marriage (in my mind, tantamount to the same thing at present) for at least 7 more years.

So, what options do i have? I am not likely to be able to ditch her and come back in 7 years when "i've grown up" [i would see either i) her suicide [not bragging] ii) her never forgiving me iii) her cutting my dick off. I will, however, not live with myself if i end up with her and a life tally of 4 partners (i've made it clear my life goals and happinness is my #1 priority, call me a dick, but i've sacrificed my uni life caring for/being with her; i think i'm owed about 1 year of fun-time).

So, i see my best option is staying with her, seeing if she recovers fully, and get my "experience" banging enough chicks to satiate me on the side till i grow up [this is easy, i take plenty of trips seperate from her]. I am not the sort of person to regret this decision; i still care about her, sex with other women doesn't diminish this. I need to do this as part of my maturity [does that sound like an oxymoron, yeah].

Does Dr. Dom concur? Can he offer an alternative? Opinion? Others can chime in, [constructive] criticism will be gladly received, as it's time to make life choices. And I'm torn.

Thanks all
Pete Harris

[Clarkmeister]

I didn't call you gay. I gave you a suggestion that might make you happier. How is that an insult? "I don't think gay guys could get hard and have sex with a girl" - just how ignorant are you? But that's part of why you have to keep coming back under different handles, isn't it.

I'd still like to see all these posts of mine that you claim exist. I think a basic rule of OOT should be that if you make accusations, such as "i'm not the one who has to bring gay crap into every thread like you do.", that if you can't actually provide citations to back up those remarks, that you be banned from 2+2. Back it up mouth. I'll happily admit I'm wrong, you merely have to provide posts from 3 separate threads supporting your statement. That should be easy to do, right? After all, I'm doing it in "every thread".

[ScottyP431]

Cmeister,

You need to relax. It was clearly meant as an insult, and it was very funny, I laughed quite a bit.

[SackUp]

PH,

Don't cheat, that is really not cool. Talk about giving someone a mental disorder - that will do it for a chick. Much better off dumping her and sewing your oats if that is what you want to be doing. Graduating and moving to a different city is the perfect opportunity - when you are not right next to each other. Much easier to separate when you are actually separated by natural barriers.

Seriously though, if you are not ready to commit to this girl and be faithful then don't continue.

[jaxUp]

Peter, a couple of things jump out of your post. Basically, you nailed it here:

Once i get in 'a relationship', i don't really see how/can't be bothered to get out. Then we get bogged down.

It's pretty clear that you are not/will not be happy with this girl and it seems like the main reason you can't or won't break it off is because of your concern of what it will do to her. It's a [censored] situation to be in for sure, because you still care for her, but aren't really interested in the direction the relationship is headed.

That said, I think you need to leave this girl. To be honest, you will probably end up breaking up anyways from the tone of your post, so I don't think it's fair to you or her to keep wasting any more of your time.

She will take it hard and you might too, but in the end you will be happier living a bachelor's life for a while, and if you choose, eventually settling down with a girl for whom you won't have to "re-conceptualize your views on marriage."