Im helping my best freind and somehow I look like the bad guy...

[Force1]

After reading the post I think you're the bad guy. Seriously, I understand you're frustration but its probably a very humilatiing experience for this guy to be that far in debt and have a failed business. I understand you wanting to reimbursed for the ticket but "I need a date" is pretty harsh. For someone who touts his willingness to take a friend out to dinner and ballgames when he was down on his luck you sure turned on him quick. The guy is moving becuase he is in finicial trouble and you refused to help him move unless he pays for the plane ticket. That is kinda d-bagish IMO.

OTOH, I do understand you're frustration in the situation but it was just handled extremely poor.

[pokerraja]

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My take is that OP has done favors for his buddy all these years, and doing it so many times made his buddy take OP for granted. I do agree with others that OP shouldnt have stressed so much about what he did for his buddy to his face. But still, I have a feeling OP is being used here by his buddy (maybe "used" is a strong term, how about taken for granted for his generous behaviour).

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I feel very much taken for granted. I do admit that I should not have rubbed it in his face how much I have done for him though.

Also, I did not mention it earlier but my friend is taking a very high paying job. Sure he is in alot of debt, but he should be happy that he will be making good money soon.

So this is what my best friend expects of me: im gonna take Friday off of work. Help him move out of his apartment into the truck. Drive 13 hours to DC in a uncomfortable U-Haul. Unload into his new apartment. Chill Saturday. Catch an early flight back to Michigan Sunday. Keep in the mind the flight the cheap motherfrucker has for me has 1 stop in it making it a 9 hour day on sunday. Now you tell me asking him too much to pay for my flight and pay upfront?

[ElliotR]

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So this is what my best friend expects of me: im gonna take Friday off of work. Help him move out of his apartment into the truck. Drive 13 hours to DC in a uncomfortable U-Haul. Unload into his new apartment. Chill Saturday. Catch an early flight back to Michigan Sunday. Keep in the mind the flight the cheap motherfrucker has for me has 1 stop in it making it a 9 hour day on sunday. Now you tell me asking him too much to pay for my flight and pay upfront?

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This is what you think when it's your best [censored] friend? Dude, you totally suck at being a friend.

[lippy]

What is your financial situation? This is quite important.

If you're fine, and knowing his situation, you should not ask him for the $. It's money man, you can't take it with you.

The $200 probably means 500x as much to him as it does to you.

Also, don't ruin the guy's spirits by bickering about money. So he's made a couple bad decisions, he's probably already broken up over it.

[sightless]

It sounds you were just looking for an excuse to let this all bottled up emotion out. You could have found a much nicer way to bring this up and discuss this with him.

[pokerraja]

[ QUOTE ]
What is your financial situation? This is quite important.

If you're fine, and knowing his situation, you should not ask him for the $. It's money man, you can't take it with you.

The $200 probably means 500x as much to him as it does to you.

Also, don't ruin the guy's spirits by bickering about money. So he's made a couple bad decisions, he's probably already broken up over it.

[/ QUOTE ]


honestly im very healthy monetarily. but i guess it just got to the point in which he was not grateful of anything i did for him. so i guess i finally buckled. but i will take OOT's good advice and ease off him with all the money comments. its true he has been going through hell in the last 6 months with bankruptcy and other financial problems. i will actually be a good friend and go through with everything.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What is your financial situation? This is quite important.

If you're fine, and knowing his situation, you should not ask him for the $. It's money man, you can't take it with you.

The $200 probably means 500x as much to him as it does to you.

Also, don't ruin the guy's spirits by bickering about money. So he's made a couple bad decisions, he's probably already broken up over it.

[/ QUOTE ]


honestly im very healthy monetarily. but i guess it just got to the point in which he was not grateful of anything i did for him. so i guess i finally buckled. but i will take OOT's good advice and ease off him with all the money comments. its true he has been going through hell in the last 6 months with bankruptcy and other financial problems. i will actually be a good friend and go through with everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know this sounds gay, but it is ok to tell him how you feel about it all, and let him know that while you care a lot about him and dont mind helping him out with this stuff, that you feel like he hasnt been very grateful or appreciative, and that it hurts your feelings.

er, ok, im done being gay, and DrPhil is on, so I gotta go

[pokerraja]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What is your financial situation? This is quite important.

If you're fine, and knowing his situation, you should not ask him for the $. It's money man, you can't take it with you.

The $200 probably means 500x as much to him as it does to you.

Also, don't ruin the guy's spirits by bickering about money. So he's made a couple bad decisions, he's probably already broken up over it.

[/ QUOTE ]


honestly im very healthy monetarily. but i guess it just got to the point in which he was not grateful of anything i did for him. so i guess i finally buckled. but i will take OOT's good advice and ease off him with all the money comments. its true he has been going through hell in the last 6 months with bankruptcy and other financial problems. i will actually be a good friend and go through with everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know this sounds gay, but it is ok to tell him how you feel about it all, and let him know that while you care a lot about him and dont mind helping him out with this stuff, that you feel like he hasnt been very grateful or appreciative, and that it hurts your feelings.

er, ok, im done being gay, and DrPhil is on, so I gotta go

[/ QUOTE ]


lol, i actually chuckled. but I feel you. good thing is that we both have been friends so long that we are not scared to talk things out. but money is always one of those weird subjects. lol. but good advice as always, that Dr. Phil comes in handy, huh [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[applejuicekid]

Is he generally reliable about paying you back and handling money issues? I mean will he pay you back in a couple of months no problem, or are you going to have to hound me for the money?

If your going to get your money back in a couple of months without a hassle why did you make such a big deal about a date etc?

I have a feeling that the issue isn't with paying for the flight, but with the way it was handled by both of you.
At first I thought you were being a douche. But after you just added that he is getting a high paying job I think you are right. You are helping him out here, and if he can't pay for the flight right away he should have said he is sorry, will pay you back as soon as possible, and that he is greatly appreciative of all that you have done. It sounds like you might have demonstrated you frustrations in the matter poorly, and as a result he feels disrespected.

I really don't see why this is such a big deal. Then again, money matters between friends are really weird.

[-beavs-]

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Im only helping him because its the noble thing to do

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yeah, you're [censored] royalty!