your fake emotions

[Brocktoon]

This probably makes me a really bad person but the first one that pops into my mind is expressing happiness at the success of people I know.

Friend/acquaintance/neighbor/co-worker, etc: "I got a great new job/ won the lottery/ am banging a model, etc."

Me: [big fake smile and look of astonishment] "WOW, that's great man. Congratulations."

What I'm usually thinking: "Damn you, I'm insanely jealous. Right now I feel a little bit worse about myself than I did 5 minutes ago and I resent you and your success for it."

I've got so many others too that reflect just as badly upon my character. FWIW the above does not apply to the few really good friends and close family members I have, but it does apply to 95% of the people I know and/or talk to on a daily basis.