your fake emotions
 

Where and why do you fake emotion. Special points awarded for:

(1) unusual emotions, or unusual contexts for emotion, and/or
(2) maximum discrepancy between the emotion you depict and the emotion (or lackthereof) you actually feel, and/or
(3) fake emotion that has an interesting monetary or pragmatic motivation.

Maximum points lost for describing any emotion that you fake in order to get laid. Too easy.

Feel free to discuss this in the context of an emotion-faker you know.

Re: your fake emotions
 

To get this started:

When I sold suits 8 years ago I had a really interesting manager. His strategy when a customer came in angry about something was to get just a bit madder than the customer. That is, if a customer was miffed that the cuffs were not the right length, then he would be visibly pissed off for the same reason. If a customer was extremely angry, then my boss was Ghengis Khan on the warpath, yelling sternly at employees in front of the agitated customer. He made it a point to ALWAYS be more angry than the customer if they had a real grievance.

But this was totally an act. His anger had absolutely no connection to the degree of the screw-up about which the customer was upset. It was entirely based on the degree of emotion within the customer (which comes as much from the personality characteristics of the customer as on whatever screw-up had occured). After the customer left he would go back to being normal and non-upset immediately, and he told us point blank not to take him seriously, and that he was simply stealing the emotional energy away from the customer with his charade.

My manager's strategy always worked. You simply cannot yell at someone about how angry you are because x happened when that person is in your face yelling twice as loud about how angry HE is that x happened.

Re: your fake emotions
 

This probably makes me a really bad person but the first one that pops into my mind is expressing happiness at the success of people I know.

Friend/acquaintance/neighbor/co-worker, etc: "I got a great new job/ won the lottery/ am banging a model, etc."

Me: [big fake smile and look of astonishment] "WOW, that's great man. Congratulations."

What I'm usually thinking: "Damn you, I'm insanely jealous. Right now I feel a little bit worse about myself than I did 5 minutes ago and I resent you and your success for it."

I've got so many others too that reflect just as badly upon my character. FWIW the above does not apply to the few really good friends and close family members I have, but it does apply to 95% of the people I know and/or talk to on a daily basis.

Re: your fake emotions
 

After sex.

Re: your fake emotions
 

[ QUOTE ]
To get this started:

When I sold suits 8 years ago I had a really interesting manager. His strategy when a customer came in angry about something was to get just a bit madder than the customer. That is, if a customer was miffed that the cuffs were not the right length, then he would be visibly pissed off for the same reason. If a customer was extremely angry, then my boss was Ghengis Khan on the warpath, yelling sternly at employees in front of the agitated customer. He made it a point to ALWAYS be more angry than the customer if they had a real grievance.

But this was totally an act. His anger had absolutely no connection to the degree of the screw-up about which the customer was upset. It was entirely based on the degree of emotion within the customer (which comes as much from the personality characteristics of the customer as on whatever screw-up had occured). After the customer left he would go back to being normal and non-upset immediately, and he told us point blank not to take him seriously, and that he was simply stealing the emotional energy away from the customer with his charade.

My manager's strategy always worked. You simply cannot yell at someone about how angry you are because x happened when that person is in your face yelling twice as loud about how angry HE is that x happened.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your boss is an extremely smart man. take lessons from him on how to pick up girls.

Re: your fake emotions
 

"I love you"

Re: your fake emotions
 

[ QUOTE ]
He made it a point to ALWAYS be more angry than the customer if they had a real grievance.

[/ QUOTE ]

This works pretty well. I also was a manager in a formalwear store and this tactic served me well when dealing with bridezillas.

Re: your fake emotions
 

[ QUOTE ]
Your boss is an extremely smart man. take lessons from him on how to pick up girls.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pretty insightful that you make this connection. Yes, he was a pick-up artist of the highest caliber. At 35 he was with girls that he had no business getting. I wish I had the common-sense back then to just ask him point-blank for advice. Instead, I was the typical prideful early 20s male who wanted to appear as if I had it all in the bag. I could have indeed learned a lot from him

Re: your fake emotions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your boss is an extremely smart man. take lessons from him on how to pick up girls.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pretty insightful that you make this connection. Yes, he was a pick-up artist of the highest caliber. At 35 he was with girls that he had no business getting. I wish I had the common-sense back then to just ask him point-blank for advice. Instead, I was the typical prideful early 20s male who wanted to appear as if I had it all in the bag. I could have indeed learned a lot from him

[/ QUOTE ]

It just goes hand in hand. Im not saying faking a tear to get a chick into bed though. I am a master of fake emotions, not because I dont truly care, but becuase if I didnt learn how to fake my emotions w/ random people, I wouldn't say anything, becuase I was taught not to show emotions. Most of the time you cant tell what mood Im in becuase it is all internal, I dont show much of my true emotion (unless its excited). So to not seem like some kind of robot I learned to fake it, and then let it sink in internally later on. But, because people think Im very empathetic, happy for them, feel their pain etc, they think Im the coolest guy in the world.

Re: your fake emotions
 

[ QUOTE ]
It just goes hand in hand. Im not saying faking a tear to get a chick into bed though. I am a master of fake emotions, not because I dont truly care, but becuase if I didnt learn how to fake my emotions w/ random people, I wouldn't say anything, becuase I was taught not to show emotions. Most of the time you cant tell what mood Im in becuase it is all internal, I dont show much of my true emotion (unless its excited). So to not seem like some kind of robot I learned to fake it, and then let it sink in internally later on. But, because people think Im very empathetic, happy for them, feel their pain etc, they think Im the coolest guy in the world.

[/ QUOTE ]
This actually describes me pretty well too. I remember a lot of anger and people being upset in my house when I was growing up, so maybe I learned that getting emotional is bad. I don't really know. Unless I'm really pissed off or really excited, I'm usually pretty flat.

And actually, when I see people faking emotions, it actually annoys me somewhat. Things like walking into a store and having every salesman in there always super happy every time I'm there wear on me. I can't believe that every day for these people is always the best day of their lives. Another thing that I never understood was that when a friend of mine is angry with someone and comes to talk to me about it. I'll always try to help them out and calm them down or help them get back at the other person or whatever. I do it because I want to help. But other times, I've seen the same angry friend go to a second friend, and just about instantly, the second friend seems completely enfuriated with whatever situation has the first friend upset. I can understand their desire to help as well, but I can't imagine that the second person is really angry at the original situation and if that's the case, I don't think that's the best emotion to fake at that time.