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#1
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So my friend mentioned yesterday that her little sister recently told her that she had originally discovered she was adopted by reading my friend's diaries. I asked how old she was when that happened and she said 4th or 5th grade (she's now 18). To me that seemed like a traumatically old age to learn both that you are adopted and that your older brother and sister weren't. I imagine if I was the parent of an adopted kid I'd break it to them around 5 or 6. What do you guys think?
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#2
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I figure a poll would be worthwhile
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#3
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I would remind them of it every day.....
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#4
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I dont think you could peg an age....I would look more at there personal maturity level....
....better questions How would you tell em? |
#5
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[ QUOTE ]
I dont think you could peg an age....I would look more at there personal maturity level.... ....better questions How would you tell em? [/ QUOTE ] Well in regards to the maturity level, I thought it would be best to break it to them while still at a lower level of maturity, so I could keep it simple and have an easier time reinforcing that I'm still their parent, it changes nothing, that I still love them more than anything, etc... At that age I think it would be easier for them to take it in stride, whereas by the time you reach 9 or 10 I think learning something like that could make one question everything they've ever been taught to believe in. In that regard I would think if they made it past 8 years not knowing, it might be better to wait until their late teens or adulthood. |
#6
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I think the answer is either before kindergarten or before college. My neighbors adopted a little girl from Russia and she (at the age of 8) is proud of her Russian heritage.
They did a very nice job with it, but I can see that if you adopted a child shortly after birth then waiting until early adulthood is probably fine. |
#7
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As soon as possible and follow it up with "...and that's why I don't really love you."
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#8
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I'm inclined to agree with pre-kindergarten
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#9
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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I dont think you could peg an age....I would look more at there personal maturity level.... ....better questions How would you tell em? [/ QUOTE ] Well in regards to the maturity level, I thought it would be best to break it to them while still at a lower level of maturity, so I could keep it simple and have an easier time reinforcing that I'm still their parent, it changes nothing, that I still love them more than anything, etc... At that age I think it would be easier for them to take it in stride, whereas by the time you reach 9 or 10 I think learning something like that could make one question everything they've ever been taught to believe in. In that regard I would think if they made it past 8 years not knowing, it might be better to wait until their late teens or adulthood. [/ QUOTE ] This sounds like pretty sound logic. I agree with you. |
#10
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I'd start telling them before they even fully understand what that meant. I can't see why it would be better to give a kid a false identity before telling the truth.
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