Couple of Questions about Applying...

[vipon]

Hey all I’m final year at Uni/College. I am looking to apply for a banking job, specifically something related to derivatives trading. I am having difficulty finding something this specific as most of the jobs are Accounting related (which i do NOT want to get into). I have applied to the big Canadian banks, but do not feel my marks are sharp enough vs the huge competition.

Wondering what the approach is here? I have posted my cover letter for opinions/suggestions.


XXXXXXXX

September XX, 2006

XXXXx Bank of Canada.

To whom it may concern:

Since I started my degree in Bachelor of Management and Organizational Studies at Western Ontario doing a finance specialization, I knew this was the field I would be interested in.
XXXXX will offer a challenging experience on a daily basis in the field I have chosen as a career. It is with this outlook that I am writing to apply for the position of XXX XXXXX, as posted on the XXXXX careers site.

Over the last two summers I have taken and passed the Canadian Securities Course (CSC) and the Derivative Fundamentals Course (DFC). The CSC provided me with an understanding of the overall market and gave me the right to trade mutual funds. The DFC taught me about specific instruments such as forwards, options, swaps and over the counter products. These courses re-enforced my desire to work in finance and provided me the groundwork to be a derivatives trader.

My personal skill set is one that embodies the professional requirements of a career at XXXXXXX. I have worked in environments that require both independence and teamwork. My leadership skills are illustrated through my work at the Unionville Tennis Club where I was a monitor and assistant coach for two years. I have also owned and managed a local lawn care business for seven years. Ownership of the company taught me how to deal with customers in a professional manner and gave me an insight into operating a business. Management skills included organization of a client list, distribution of the marketing material and the financial statements necessary for billing and personal record keeping. Time management and customer service were two crucial components of this position, as each client had different requirements.

The XXXXXX Institute was another rewarding job experience. I was part of the accounts payable team where we maintained and updated the accounts, as well as directed and administered incoming invoices and supplier statements. This work called for precision, as it was imperative that account entries were accurate. I have a wealth of work experience, which has developed my analytical, technical and communication skill sets.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my application for a XXXXXX position at XXXX. I believe that my skill set is an ideal match for your firm, and that given the opportunity to work for Royal Bank would be mutually beneficial for both parties. I look forward to meeting with you in the near future.

Sincerely,

$
Will XXX

Too specific, poorly written, not specific enough? Rip me apart, I can take the criticism