Favorite lines from Deadwood

[youtalkfunny]

Ever, not just this week.

Here are some examples I got from browsing HBO's website. I know there are lots of good lines better than these, but these can get you started:

Jack McCall: "Should we shake hands or something, relieve the atmosphere. I mean how stupid do you think I am?"
Wild Bill Hickok: "I don't know, I just met you."

Al Swearengen to Bullock and Star: "Here's my counter-offer to your counter-offer: go f**k yourself."

Brom: "Yes, I quite take your point...." (leaves)
Hickok: "I don't think he took your point, quite."
Utter: I think he quite missed it.

Hickok: "Your husband and me had this talk, and I told him to head home to avoid a dark result. But I didn't say it in thunder. Ma'am, listen to the thunder."

Al Swearengen: "Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head, rob 'em, and throw their bodies in the creek."
Cy Tolliver: "But that would be wrong. "

Farnum: "Be brief!"
Jane: "Be F*cked!"

Farnum: "Anything the mayor should know?"
Swearengen: "The name of another tailor."

Quartermaster: "That gopher-faced merchants' agent is after our eye teeth, General. I'd rather we reprovision with the f*ckin' Sioux."

Burns, to Wu: "Why don't you learn to speak American?"

Silas Adams: "Why do I feel lucky we didn't meet across a poker table?"

Wolcott: "I am a sinner who does not expect forgiveness. But I am not a government official. "

Adams: "You talk like you take it up the ass."

Mose Manuel: "(unintelligible)"
Jane: "What is that, "Thank you" in whale talk?"

Farnum: "Allow me a moment of silence, Mr. Hearst. I am having a digestive crisis, and must focus on the suppression of its expression."

Nuttall: "I got an idea. Instead of running for office and tending bar, why don't you just tend bar and let people punch you in the face?"

[Actual God]

EB: Puberty may bring you to understand what we take for mother love is really murderous hatred and a desire for revenge.

[Synur]

Commissoner (while in prison): I'm thirsty
Jane: Lie on you back, take aim, and piss.

[youtalkfunny]

Some of my favorites are in this thread.

Especially:

AL: (to McCall) Run for your [censored] life.

[onthebutton]

Cy says to Jack the bartender "Some as don't know better might mistake me for being on the outside, looking in. Then you got your idle snatch readin' scripture, and know there's still hope."

[Cry Me A River]

Al: (returning after being maimed by Hearst) I'll have mine served cold.


Wu: [censored]!

[Mench]

ActualGod writes for Deadwood. Ask him anything you want about the show.

[NobodysFreak]

I can't believe no one has mentioned this scene in either thread.

Wild Bill Hickok: Sure you wanna quit playing, Jack? The game's always between you and getting called a [censored].

Tom Nuttall: Meeting adjourned, fellas, take it outside.

Wild Bill Hickok: That dropped eye of yours looks like the hood on a [censored] to me, Jack. When you talk, your mouth looks like a [censored] moving.

Jack McCall: I ain't gonna get in no gun fight with you, Hickok.

Wild Bill Hickok: But you will run your [censored] mouth at me. And I will take it, to play poker.

Wild Bill was my favorite character on the show at the time... I was disappointed to see him go. I realize this is going to be censored, so for those who don't know, the word in question being censored is, "cee u next tuesday"

[BreakfastBurrito]

Al Swearengen: Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or [censored] beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

This may just be my favorite quote of all time.