Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[Bobb]

[ QUOTE ]
This one happened live...

Board of Q 4 9 8 Q, my buddy has J 10 for the straight, and has been betting the whole way down

On the river, he bets, other guy calls and shows Q9 for the rivered full house

"You had the nuts...Why didn't you raise?" asks my buddy
The guy looks at his friend who's sitting next to him, gives him a nudge and starts laughing like an idiot and says "I was letting you do all the raising for me, kid"

Nothing funnier than old guys who are total idiots, yet think they're experts on the game, because they're 3 times your age

[/ QUOTE ]

I absolutely LOVE this! That reply makes me laugh inside for about five minutes every time I hear it.

Also: Live at a 3/6 table, "Aces lose more than they win".

[twoakers]

Nice

[Tony_P]

[ QUOTE ]
"what the hell is this hyung guy doin, he's not payin his blinds somehow"

(hyung was the guys screenname)

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it?

[octop]

Live at my friends barbacue

The have a hold em tourny and I ve never seen more passive calling stations in my life. My one friend who played it with me (not the kid whose barbacue it was) was the only one who had half a clue.The other 8 guys combined raised preflop a total of one time in 2 hours.
They really thought they were good too, trying to teach me how aces always lose (well the way they played them limp and never fold I wonder why.)
Anyway there was one hand where the board was something like 99442 and a 3rd diamond hit the river.
One of them bet , my friend shoves I call with the nine, another guy calls as does the initial bettor.
MY friend had the 9, the first guy who calls has the 4 and the final caller has and chase the flush.

They didnt even bother discussing the guy who called 2 all ins with the 4- that was a no brainer he had a full house.
The all agreed that the all star who called 3 all ins with the flush was correc and couldnt do anything about the "set-up hand" I had to go around the house to laugh for a good five minutes. Eventually I come back abnd win and my friend takes second.

About a week later my friend (whose barbacue it was and brother had played with us) asks us if we had cheated. I thought he was joking (ke knows nothing about cards and does not play at all.)He expalined that his brother and friends swore up and down that were we cheating and all regard eachother as great. I told him to tell them if they are so great lets get a table at the Borgata with a real dealer and play a cash game. I have been accused of a lot in my life, most of it justifyably, but this was a new one.

[freewheeler]

[ QUOTE ]
Guy who has been losing> Man I've been get reamed up the keister all night.

Other guy> And you took a break to play poker??

[/ QUOTE ]

definitely the best. still laughing

[Warren Harding]

[ QUOTE ]
"This table is tighter then a midget's vigina" -me

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope that was at a B&M. Better yet: "This table is tighter than a child's vagina". OFcourse, better said at a B&M.

[freewheeler]

Ok so this isn't so funny in telling but got a few lol's at the time... At Paradise, guy on my left has a hotdog on the little table there between us. I asked him if I could have a bite. No reply. Then I said
"Come on, gimme summa your tots"
It was real easy to see who the Napoleon fans were at that table.

[Stereolab]

This is pretty a pretty funny one that my fried told to me. He was play 5/10 limit holdem on a cruise ship.He played for about an hour and my friend bets into some guy on the flop. The guy thinks for about 30 seconds, pushes in all of his stack and says, "I'm allin." The dealer had to instruct him that the most he could bet was $5. The rest of the table got a good laugh.

[Rainbow Warrior]

Paradise 1/2 limit Omaha Hi table

Player A : Why didn't I win low that hand?

Player B : Because you're an idiot.

[joop]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"what the hell is this hyung guy doin, he's not payin his blinds somehow"

(hyung was the guys screenname)

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it?

[/ QUOTE ]
Sorry, I have a strange sense of humour [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]