Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[poker_n00b]

[ QUOTE ]
(2 players in the hand)
BB goes all in.
CO calls.

BB shows his wonderful nuts.
CO shows dogshit cards.

I ask of CO: "Why'd you call his all-in with nothing?"

CO: "I had position."

[/ QUOTE ]

OMFG LOL PEE MY PANTS

[joop]

"what the hell is this hyung guy doin, he's not payin his blinds somehow"

(hyung was the guys screenname)

[kerowo]

I was in a home game getting stared down over a 2 dollar pot and said "I've been given the 'let's just be friends' speech too many times to show emotions over a couple of cards." There was much laughter.

[Schwartzy61]

That guy hit a one-outer, that should never happen...

The funniest for me was when an online opponent fell into this one. It was 6h table with 4 players.

After I won three hands in row..last one with 33 against his missed AK... It went something like this..

Opp: Keep it up fish, you are the worst player I ever saw
Me: the very worst - in the world???
Opp: yes u fkr, the whole frigin planet
Me: That's almost mathematically impossible ....
Opp: WTF
Me: See, you are the worst player I ever saw, and what are the odds that the two worst players in the world could be at the same table at the same time?
Opp: FU

[Black winter day]

I've just been sucked out by some fish,who called my TP good kicker and a flush draw,with same pair,kicker 4,no draws,and rivered his kicker.
Then,on the very next hand,i get AA.
I am writing on purpose - well,fish,you got me tilting now.

Thinking,either he doesn't buy it and fold,or he might just take the bait and actually think i am bluffing.
I raised a lot pf.
He calls.
The flop - 36A rainbow,i make another huge overbet.
He calls it.
The turn and river were some blanks and i went all-in.
He stopped to write the following.
"Thanks,for bluffing all your money to me,you frigging moron"
Calls,reveils the mighty lowest pair,horrible kicker - 35!!!

Then silently leaves.
Half the players in the table wrote LMAO and LOLs

[HotPants]

lol

smack-talkin 101: wait till you win the hand first

[doug funnie]

Probably my old roomate doing the rebuy trick on pokerstars so that he had 200$ on a 5$ NL table. Then convincing the entire table that he was a hacker and the money was coming from their accounts.

[Black winter day]

[ QUOTE ]
Probably my old roomate doing the rebuy trick on pokerstars so that he had 200$ on a 5$ NL table. Then convincing the entire table that he was a hacker and the money was coming from their accounts.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's the trick?

[boc4life]

This one happened live...

Board of Q 4 9 8 Q, my buddy has J 10 for the straight, and has been betting the whole way down

On the river, he bets, other guy calls and shows Q9 for the rivered full house

"You had the nuts...Why didn't you raise?" asks my buddy
The guy looks at his friend who's sitting next to him, gives him a nudge and starts laughing like an idiot and says "I was letting you do all the raising for me, kid"

Nothing funnier than old guys who are total idiots, yet think they're experts on the game, because they're 3 times your age