She left me

[MrMoo]

I certainly can't change your personal views on marriage. My parents have been together 30+ years and they hate each other. It makes our whole family miserable. I hope you don't have to deal with that.

[mslif]

I can't really help you but I know from experience that you won't be yourself for a while. In time you will start to feel better and you will be able to move on, just make sure you are surrounded with family and friends. I wish you luck. A lot of people have gone through the same experience, myself included.

[thatpfunk]

sorry and GL. i second the keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy idea.

[NhlNut]

sorry about your situation.
besides couples counseling, she may want to try individual counseling. At 30, she may be wondering if her life is what she wants it to be. She may find that her problems aren't really solved by leaving the marriage.
best of luck.

[livinitup0]

As someone that has gone though being cheated on...Im telling you right now....if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck....its a duck.
Im really sorry man, but she cheated and still might be on a regular basis. Either make the decision to fight to get her back or just move on. You cant stay in limbo.

GL

[Banks2334]

GA,
To be blunt, she's cheating on you. Women tend to have the next guy already waiting in the wings. Needing "space"= its over. The sooner you come to this realization, the better off you will be. Start believing in divorce because I'm sure she is a believer. Get a good attorney and stop being a doormat "nice guy".

[snagglepuss]

[Inchoateposter]

GA,

Thats rough. Good luck getting over it. I'm sorry your exwife couldn't convince herself differently and didn't communicate with you early enough to salvage things. Sounds like she sabotaged your relationship beginning quite some time ago. Take it easy for the next few months.

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
And the reason she feels this way is that whenever the OP touches her, she feels guilty about what she's doing. Many women can only be intimate with one man at a time. Guys are better at separating sex from intimacy, but most women cannot.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Hopey is dead on. I saw the same kind of thing with one of my sisters and also with a friend of mine. They were both having affairs but boy they did not want to admit it.

I read something interesting once about women and divorce. It said when women finally announce they want out of a marriage it has usually been decided for a long time. Guys often think it is a starting point to clean up their act when in fact it is usually the ending point and cleaning up their act is futile. For women, counseling is often pointless; their minds are already made up. They may go through the motions to put on a good show for the family but it is often disingenuous.

I'm really sorry GA, I think the guys may be right about her having an affair. You should just call her on it because you deserve to be treated with more respect and consideration.

[Vehn]

Do not go to counciling, get the marriage over with. Don't try to hold onto her, especially if there's no physical attraction. This is my expert advice..