Your best wasted story

[whiskeytown]

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I have a few wasted stories that don't involve hospitalization -

I went after work to a local irish bar where I started knocking back Rumplemintz - long story short - meet cute girl, scare her off probably with the 9th Rumplemintz - meanwhile, my friend Adam is there with my two coworkers - I'm in friendly territory and according to my friend Adam I am as lucid as a priest on Sunday - coherant - everything -

everything past that is a fragment - apparently I stood up, landed on my knees and was so drunk the staff almost called detox on me - my coworkers/friend got me to a hotel where I passed out and showed up late for work two hrs the next day hungover in the same clothes -

closest I ever came to totally blanking out suddenly - and it was like it wasn't there and then blam, it was there - I quit Rumplemintz shortly thereafter - and my friend ended up getting into something with one of my coworkers which I didn't need to know about but did anyways - (thank god it wasn't the married one) -

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played a gig one night where I played for 90 min acoustically at a bar, downing shots of whiskey - about 5-6 over 90 min - probably closer to 7-8 -

I had from 75 min to 2 hrs and after 75 was content to go the 2nd hr but at about the 90 min. mark, my friend says it was like I suddenly forgot how to play guitar - LOL - a classic rock and roll moment - I had to be driven home from that gig - that happened twice -

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oh yah - Labor day - drank too much - went in friends dimly lit bathroom to throw up - did - turned on light - lid was down - damn. - cleaned it up and flushed - clogged toilet - but I didn't realize this cause I had left the apt. in shame at that point -

yah - thanks for reminding me why I quit again. an obscene tolerance up until a point and then I was in serious danger - LOL -

RB

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I know you post here more than me and I know a lot of people like you, but these stories are lame as [censored].

To me, you are just that creepy old guy who is in a band. You probably never understood that people are laughing at you and not with you. These stories are pathetic.

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yawn.

RB

[five4suited]

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staggering home during my college days and taking a shortcut through a parking lot. Then it hit me, I've got to take a massive dump. I'm leaning against a car trying to hold it but know it's going to come out. To my delight the car is unlocked so I crawl in and lay sideways on the front bench seat a unload a 12" steamer. I then wipe my ass on the driver's side and jump out. I continue my trek home with some guy yelling at me from his balcony. funny as hell at the time.

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LMAO

[jokerthief]

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This thread [censored] sucks, that's what's up my ass.

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Wow. This guy really doesn't fit in here. Welcome to OOT newb, this kinda thread is what we are all about.

[five4suited]

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This is what I was told, I can not verify its authenticity. He told it in some detail, so I probably believe him. How do you make something like that up?

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[The X-Factor]

Well it was my 20th birthday and I lived in my fraternity house. One of my brothers who lived there had bought us some Tequila. We were taking double shots of this and chasing it with beer. We had finished the bottle within a couple of hours. As you can imagine we are both pretty smashed and I am starting to wonder around looking for something to piss on so I decided a good place to take a leak would be on the fiji house. So I start to wonder my drunk ass down the road and then one of my brothers stopped me from doing it. I was really mad. Then they attemped to lock me in my room which did not work. I snuck out and made my way through the campus.

At this point I decided a good place to stop would be our UC. I go in and think for a minute and check my mail there for whatever reason. I go to come back up and all of the doors are locked so I think I am screwed. Finally I fond one of those doors where it just has a thing that comes in the middle of the door and make a drunken stumber to bust through the door which I did and managed to fall and scrape myself up pretty good.

After that I made my way over to the girls dorms and there I ran into a good lady friend of mine at the time. She knew I was smashed and that I was trying to hit on her ect so she kinda took advantage of me back in her room by giving me a [censored] and driving me back to my fraternity house where I passed out and boy did I pay for it the next day...

[CappyAA]

Not one night, but this was my trip report from Las Vegas in March this year...I think I was wasted for 5 straight days:

Linky

[Cesaro]

So it's orientation week up at school and a bunch of my friends and I decided we were going to go up early and relive the wonderful experiences we had last year. The first night we go out and lose one particularly wasted buddy of mine. I saw him again the next day around 3 in the afternoon with a crowd gathered around him. He told us this story...

"So I wake up this morning and I notice I'm in the top bunk and I think to myself, 'hm, that's weird' because I sleep in the bottom bunk. I'm still pretty drunk at this point so it takes me a while to notice the girl looking up at me screaming, 'oh my god! get out of my bed!' At this point I look under the sheets and realize I'm completely naked, so naturally I tell her, 'go away, i'm naked.' So the girl runs away and I'm tired to I just go back to sleep.

I'm awoken again later by a larger woman. Unfortunately, this one is wearing a campus police uniform. She orders me to get out of bed but I tell her, 'I cant...i'm naked.' She looks disturbed at this point. She inquires further...'Do you know anything about the vomit all over the hall?' I tell her absolutely not. 'What about the pile of clothes on the floor in the other room, soaked in piss?' No way, not mine. 'And i suppose the giant pile of [censored] on the chair doesn't belong to you either?'

Oh God, no I didnt...I glance in to the other room and, sure enough, there's a giant pile of [censored] on the chair. The lady asks where I live and I tell her room 204. She tells me I'm in 205. [censored]...so close. She goes to my room to get some clothes for me from my roommate. When he opens the door though, she gets a glimpse at the 300 dollars worth of alcohol we have illegally stashed above the fireplace and confiscates it.

She comes back with my clothes and I get dressed and leave. The other room smells terrible. These poor innocent freshman girls. I walk outside and the hallway looks like someone projectile vomited all over the walls, the floor, anywhere but the trashcan really. The officer announces that I'm drunk and that she's taking me into custody. I say 'well if you're taking me in you better take in this [censored] whore over here. there's no way she's coming home sober at 8:30 in the morning.' The officer does not humor me. I go to the infirmary and blow a .27 at 9:30 AM. They dont release me until 2:30.

Looking back I realize I simply made an honest mistake, thining that that girl's room was the bathroom. Why i got naked and pissed on my clothes too, well, I have no idea."

So yea, some poor freshman girl went out her first night at college only to come home to find someone [censored] and pissed all over her room and passed out naked in her bed. Awesome.