Your best wasted story

[Keystone]

[ QUOTE ]
Ya, that guyb just saved the thread.


not mine but a friends:

the kid is a queer, nice guy, but he is gay. he went out to a gay bar one night w/ some of his friends, got super hammered, and ended up going home w/ this other dude. gay sex ensued. 6:30 am, the guy is awoken to loud bells, not sure exactly where he is, he assumes the guy he went home with lives near a church. The guy he slept w/ isnt there, but there is a note on the dresser saying that he had to go to work early, and he will be back about 8am. Kid goes back to sleep for an hour, then wakes up when the sun starts to rise, looks around, and sees a ton of crosses and religious artifacts. He went home w/ a priest...he is in a rectory.

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No way

[Mr_Donktastic]

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I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

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I used to do [censored] like this with my friends - our favorite items were lawn balls and flags. If we didn't smash em we would take em to a spot in the woods where we'd hang out...it was pretty well decorated after awhile!

[MrMoo]

I went to a Halloween/surprise engagement party for some friends. I was dressed like Cookie Monster. I rented the costume from a costume store. I was covered head to toe in some blue carpet like material. The head was huge and roughly two feet in diameter.

The happy just engaged couple shows up for what they think is a dinner with a couple friends. They ring the doorbell and I open the door in full costume and hand the bride to be a giant chocolate chip cookie. They just stare at me unaware of what is going on or what to do. The rest of the party jumps out, yells surprise. Fun times for everyone.

I drink. A lot.

For some reason I decide to go into the hostesses room and look in my backpack which I brought containing my clothes, phone, wallet and other miscellaneous junk. I notice my wallet is missing. I proceeded to walk through the house screaming that I was going to beat the crap out of everyone I didn't personally know until I found my wallet. Suddenly, the groom to be holds up a wallet and asks if it's mine. It is. He said he found it on the ground in the hallway. Best guess is that someone took it, got scared and tossed it on the ground so I wouldn't start hitting people.

Less than a minute later the hostess says her purse is missing too. Once again I trample throughout the house threatening to beat the crap out of everyone I dkdn't know until the purse is found. The purse magically appears in the living room and is returned.

The party begins to play pin the tail on the donkey. Or in this case, pin the dart on the giant blown up embarrasing photos of bride and groom to be. I begin to get quite upset and yell at the players "feeling" where the previous darts were thrown to find the middle. I believe "f*cking cheating douchebags" was one of the comments. Pin the tail on the donkey ends shortly thereafter.

The festivities move on to bobbing for apples. Having never done this before, I'm very interested. The people before suck horribly. I mock them and their pathetic two or three apples. My turn. I dunk the top half of my body into the apple bucket and spill water everywhere. I finish with eight apples and proclaim myself the best apple bobber of all time. I continue to mock those not as skilled as me.

I wander into the kitchen and notice someone I've never met with a cigarette. I had quit for about a week and was dying for a smoke. I asked him for one and he gave it to me. I didn't light it, simply stuck it in my mouth to bring back the memories. The cigarette fell from my lips and rolled slightly under the stove. I remember gently attempting to move the stove to retrieve my cancer stick of joy. The hostess came running over and pulls me away from the stove. I get mad and walk away angrily. Me gently attempting to move the stove was later described as "violently trying to rip the stove from the wall". My memory says otherwise.

I wander around the house looking for something to do. About this time I notice people are avoiding me. I end up walking back into the kitchen to find my friends who didn't suck. A couple of my friends are in the kitchen pooring some Captain Morgans into full size drinking glasses because no shot glasses are available. Most of the glasses are only filled with about a shot or twos worth of rum. The genius pooring the rum finishes the last glass with the remainder of the bottle. The final glass is about three quarters filled. Everyone laughs at the big glass and discussion begins about who will drink it. I butt my way into the conversation, calling the group a bunch of pus*ies, grab the glass and start chugging.

Some stuff happens that I don't remember.

I realize throwing up is inevitable and I make my way into the bathroom.

More stuff happens I don't remember.

I'm awaken by the groom to be coming into the bathroom. He asks if I'm alright. I turn toward the toiled and puke violently for about a minute. Throughout my puking, the groom to be is just staring at me in awe. I turn towards him and yell, "I was fine until you came in here"! I blackout again. I was told later that the groom to be had to pee in the shower because I was using the toilet and refused to move.

I woke up the next morning in the living room unaware of how I got there.

To this day, the story of the drunken cookie monster is regaled with joy and rememberance by those who were there to see me at my worst.

[Mr_Donktastic]

[ QUOTE ]
Should told the bitch to brush her teeth and take a shower and then you should have [censored] her.

[/ QUOTE ]

nh

[toss]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Ya, that guyb just saved the thread.


not mine but a friends:

the kid is a queer, nice guy, but he is gay. he went out to a gay bar one night w/ some of his friends, got super hammered, and ended up going home w/ this other dude. gay sex ensued. 6:30 am, the guy is awoken to loud bells, not sure exactly where he is, he assumes the guy he went home with lives near a church. The guy he slept w/ isnt there, but there is a note on the dresser saying that he had to go to work early, and he will be back about 8am. Kid goes back to sleep for an hour, then wakes up when the sun starts to rise, looks around, and sees a ton of crosses and religious artifacts. He went home w/ a priest...he is in a rectory.

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No way

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[guids]

This is what I was told, I can not verify its authenticity. He told it in some detail, so I probably believe him. How do you make something like that up?

[Keystone]

My friends and I all have our own stories about being the token blacked out jackass at a party. I think that it is something that everyone should experience.

[beenben]

alcohol = depressant. #1 cause of suicide - untreated depression.

[neuroman]

[ QUOTE ]
My friends and I all have our own stories about being the token blacked out jackass at a party. I think that it is something that everyone should experience.

[/ QUOTE ]
Two words my friend: vomiting blood.

[five4suited]

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This thread [censored] sucks, that's what's up my ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Someone's been to 30-day involuntary rehab recently.