Classic Stripper Lines (to their customers)

[mikeymer]

"no touching"

[Ron Burgundy]

"My uncle molested me when I was 8."

[4thstreetpete]

First time at a strip club (very shy):

stripper: Hi! you came here to see girls get nekkid?
me: (no [censored] bitch) ...err actually this is my first time here
stripper: (looks over at my friend) you brought him here to corrupt him! (smiles at me...)I'll make it worth your while
me: oh....
stripper: have you ever thought about modelling? you look like a model

I was actually stupid enough to believe this sh.t. Here's an extra $20!

[PokerBob]

stripper: says nothing, just stands on stage doing her strip thing

PokerBob: your mother must be very proud

stripper: yells some [censored] but i walk away

[Overdrive]

[ QUOTE ]
"no touching"

[/ QUOTE ]

You are obviously going to the wrong strip club. Or at least spending time with the wrong strippers.

[Irieguy]

Stripper: "Let's cut the bullsht, I'm giving you a dance."

Irieguy

PS- unfortunately, only a few STTFers will understand why this was the

greatest

stripper line

ever

[wickywahwah]

"You smell good"
"Where do you work out?"
"For extra $500, I'll let you [censored] me in the [censored] like a [censored][censored], you sexy [censored]"

[Jules22]

when i was 18 me and a couple of buddies went to the strip club for the first time. my buddy eric would turn to me and my buddy danny and go "hey i think this stripper is flirting with me!"

me: well then, why DONT YOU ASK HER ON A DATE HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH

my buddy cracked up too it was classic. eric is a bit naive sometimes

[TheNoodleMan]

[ QUOTE ]
Stripper: "Let's cut the bullsht, I'm giving you a dance."

Irieguy

PS- unfortunately, only a few STTFers will understand why this was the

greatest

stripper line

ever

[/ QUOTE ]because the stripper was this guy?

[Villainaire]

[ QUOTE ]
I hate my dad.

[/ QUOTE ]