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#31
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nice post...for the introductions, consider reading an etiquette book and learning the proper ways of doing them. it is amazing how knowing what you are doing will totally impress some important old people.
lesser things have meant the difference between getting that great new job, or being an honorable mention. i don't remember all the details, but probably the easiest general rule is that you introduce the "lesser" to the "greater" and the greater is older or female or both for respect. if you don't want to think of it as respect, you can think of it as useful to your career and easy. |
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#32
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Quick question, where could I find the Juggler posts?
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#33
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Sorry, I meant to go back and add the link in there
http://www.fastseduction.com/archive...ve_juggler.zip If I remember correctly the .rar files are passworded for some reason, the pw is fastseduction.com im pretty sure. if thats not right the pw is given on the archives main page |
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#34
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Get a girlfriend that likes that quality about you and accept who you are. I am the exact same way. I realized a few years ago that I just didn't like small talk or idle banter. I keep a small ring of close friends and am much happier this way. You can train yourself to be more outgoing but I am willing to bet that you won't like it. Just be yourself.
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#35
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Much briefer and less insightful than some of the other replys, but:
I think to try to be more extroverted you probably need to be more willing to see the possibilities in people. Sure, sometimes you'll be stuck with the shallow and the insipid, but people who can converse well with relative strangers generally do so out of a sincere interest in that other person, if only in passing. |
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#36
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[ QUOTE ]
Oh, it's definitely a problem of mine that I've known about for a while. When I'm around people I know, I can shoot the [censored] no problem. When I'm around other people, especially if they all know eachother, it takes me a lot longer to feel comfortable and get into a rhythm. The funny thing is, I can perform on stage, do public speaking, all of that no problem. When it comes down to being placed in a social setting with a whole bunch of people, I don't know where to begin. It just seems overwhelming to me. [/ QUOTE ] This used to discribe me to a tee. There has already been some outstanding advice in this thread, (OOT is really getting better these days), so I'll just add a snippet. In your OP you listed three things that hamper you, one of them being worried about what other people think of you. I think that this is the greatest killer, because you can't control what other people think. So what happens is that you are at the mercy of other peoples opinions which leads you to begin constantly changing your behaviour based on what you think they want of you. And as you know, this doesn't work. All the people that I really admire are independent of the good opinion of other people. Which translates to, just be yourself. In the long run it's much easier. |
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#37
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act as if... act as if the people you are talking to are friends of yours.
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#38
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[ QUOTE ]
Today i was at the ATM and the girl in front of me was making a deposit and she reached for the left stack of envelopes and i said "no! not that one" and she kind of laughed and gave me the what look and i said "I had my eye on that one, take one from the back" [/ QUOTE ] Wow, yeah -- I hear most girls withdrawing cash from an ATM really love it when random male strangers make startling statements from behind them. |
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#39
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[ QUOTE ]
I have a friend who says he used to have the same problem. He joined toastmasters. problem solved. www.toastmasters.org [/ QUOTE ] Man, I thought this was going to be about toast. Like the toast you eat. [censored]. |
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#40
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[ QUOTE ]
I have a friend who says he used to have the same problem. He joined toastmasters. problem solved. www.toastmasters.org [/ QUOTE ] Isn't that more of a public speaking organization, than a 'talk to people in social setting' organization. |
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