Dealing with Introversion
 

Ever since I was in high school, being around new groups of people has made me somewhat anxious and extremely quiet. I've since gotten past the anxiety, but I've never been able to get past being quiet and being myself. When I'm around other groups of friends, I'll have a good time, I can relax and what not, but only when I'm extremely comfortable with them. I've boiled this down to a few reasons:

1. My inability to start a conversation (I'm boring, leave me alone)
2. Caring too much about what others think of me
3. Generally not wanting to socialize with the type of people around me

I wouldn't really care, but my girlfriend has noticed this and wants me to be more confident and more myself around other people as well. So I'm asking for some tips on how to break myself of this without using alcohol. What do you say to start a conversation with a total stranger or to someone your friend knows? I know the setting's probably important, so picture a pool hall, bar, or some other club.

-Boolean

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

AHAHAHAHHA WHAT A GEEK. WHO ASKS A POKER FORUM FOR SOCIAL ADVICE? KILL YOURSELF, KID.

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

No clue. I'm in the same boat, been getting worse in the past three years here at college. I'm at the point where I have about five friends and I never go out at all.

If you find the solution, holla.

EDIT: I think mine may be more of an extreme social anxiety thing.

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

[ QUOTE ]
AHAHAHAHHA WHAT A GEEK. WHO ASKS A POKER FORUM FOR SOCIAL ADVICE? KILL YOURSELF, KID.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait a minute, this is a poker forum? [censored], I thought this was Dr. Phil...my bad. By the way, you might want to tell people asking the correct way to wipe their ass the same thing. And those people asking which Spice Girl they'd rather SIIHP too. After all, this is a poker forum.

Douche.

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

[ QUOTE ]
AHAHAHAHHA WHAT A GEEK. WHO ASKS A POKER FORUM FOR SOCIAL ADVICE? KILL YOURSELF, KID.

[/ QUOTE ]
You suck. But what bugs me more is the fact that you are sucking on purpose.

OP, your GF hinted at the confidence thing, maybe that's a factor? Growing up I was just like you, very standoffish until I got to know someone and then my type-A side emerged. In recent years I've come out of my shell, probably because of a growth in confidence. As a result, I'm not afraid to start a conversation anywhere with anyone.

Simply be positive and make some sort of positive remark about something...anything. The weather, their dress, the fact that the elevator showed up quickly. Problem is, this is something you can't teach, it's something that grows over time.

But please do it. Introverts - i.e. people I can't get a read on - are my least favorite type. I don't know where I stand so I tend to gravitate away from them.

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

Boolean,

do you think this is as big of a problem as your girlfriend does? Have you dwelt on this problem on your own time in the past?

I have a similar perception of myself, but all of my friends and gf think that i'm very well adjusted and are surprised that I think this. I just feel like I have a very hard time opening up in front of people that I don't really know. It's especially difficult when they all know each other and I don't really know them.

I don't think people who say "just open up more be positive be yourself" really understand the problem, but then again I don't really either. the only real solution I have found is alcohol and/or drugs.

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

at least you have a girlfriend

you're a step ahead of 96% of the population here

even my demon ass can't keep a broad

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

Oh, it's definitely a problem of mine that I've known about for a while. When I'm around people I know, I can shoot the [censored] no problem. When I'm around other people, especially if they all know eachother, it takes me a lot longer to feel comfortable and get into a rhythm. The funny thing is, I can perform on stage, do public speaking, all of that no problem. When it comes down to being placed in a social setting with a whole bunch of people, I don't know where to begin. It just seems overwhelming to me.

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

[ QUOTE ]

3. Generally not wanting to socialize with the type of people around me



[/ QUOTE ]

You sound a lot like me, this one is my biggest problem. I don't like being in big groups of people I don't know because I find most people stupid and annoying. It isn't a good thing but I haven't found any way to fix it. I just hate being around stupid, loud kids which happens to make up about 90% of the college population.

Re: Dealing with Introversion
 

[ QUOTE ]
Oh, it's definitely a problem of mine that I've known about for a while. When I'm around people I know, I can shoot the [censored] no problem. When I'm around other people, especially if they all know eachother, it takes me a lot longer to feel comfortable and get into a rhythm. The funny thing is, I can perform on stage, do public speaking, all of that no problem. When it comes down to being placed in a social setting with a whole bunch of people, I don't know where to begin. It just seems overwhelming to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

This describes me perfectly.