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#32
06-10-2006, 02:13 PM
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Re: I dont understand casual conversation
My standard response tpo most office pleasantries is "I'm here."
What's up? I'm here. How are ya? I'm here. Having a good day? I'm here. What's going on? I'm here. 
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#33
06-10-2006, 03:01 PM
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Re: I dont understand casual conversation
[ QUOTE ]
Silence bothers and even frightens some people because it can make them begin to realize that they are not as permanent as they would hope to be. I once walked into a bathroom at school and there was a guy in there taking a [censored]. He said "hey man, how's it going?" I responded "Are you all right?" "Yeah, I just wanted too... I'm good now." Some people are afraid to take a [censored] unless there's people outside the door that they can hear talking. They can't stand even a few minutes of solitude. [/ QUOTE ] That was a very weird post, but it's true. Many people are outright scared to be alone, or of silence. I've had friends admit to me that they feel a little nuts and sad or desperate or something if they're on their own all day, or even for a few hours. This is a common thing to come up in dating, too, and can make things messy. People often take silence on a date as some kind of sliding out of sync with someone or never being in sync with them in the first place. Then they get desperate and start babbling, which just makes them look desperate and out of sync when their date might have thought everything was absolutely fine until then. Being able to enjoy quiet moments is a really good sign of people getting along. Sometimes people just don't talk or are unsociable, but people are happier usually if they can just talk when they feel like talking and can just not talk so much, too. It's accepting themselves and the other person, too, to not worry that silence is a sign of failure, anger, or what not. Different personality types can sometimes have trouble matching each other's conversation and pacing, and that probably drives some people apart who could be perfectly good friends, unfortunately. But most of us can adapt a little to others once we accept ourselves enough not to sweat every little interaction.
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#34
06-10-2006, 03:09 PM
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Re: I dont understand casual conversation
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I dont understnd what kind of satisfaction they get out of asking me dumb questions that they probably arent even listening to the answers. Questions like "How was your day?" or "What did you eat today?" are particularly bothersome. Do they really want me to tell them what I ate and whether my day was good or bad? Does silence bother people that much that much? [/ QUOTE ] You are not the first person to have this thought. [/ QUOTE ]Not that many thoughts are original... I thought of this stuff and stuff about weather when I was like 15 or something. When I confronted my mom on it she seemed pretty upset. [/ QUOTE ] Heh some people really work that crap hard and take it for real socializing.
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#36
06-10-2006, 03:26 PM
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Re: I dont understand casual conversation
KKF,
It's a good thing you live in Thailand, where the question doesn't need to be asked, since everybody there always has an awful day.
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#37
06-10-2006, 03:47 PM
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Re: I dont understand casual conversation
I suggest adding the response "okay" to your arsenal of phrases used to answer any kind of stupid comment/question that might come your way, it's extremely useful. It has the added bonus that after you respond "okay" to a few comments in a row they may finally understand you don't care what they're talking about and that they're wasting your precious time and oxygen.
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#38
06-10-2006, 04:07 PM
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Re: I dont understand casual conversation
i hate when random strangers try to make small talk. however, when i see a friend and ask "what have you been up to?" or "how has your day been?" it is because i want to know. i wouldnt ask otherwise.
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#39
06-10-2006, 05:09 PM
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Re: I dont understand casual conversation
[ QUOTE ]
With this question it can either be a terrible bore for both parties, or a genuine conversation with empathy. [/ QUOTE ] What's really funny is when people ask you questions like this that seem either like they might be displays of sincere interest on the one hand or at least like they require an answer, and then walk out of the room, even sometimes shutting the door behind them, before you can give an answer. This has the bizarre effect of demeaning both parties at once. One day someone's going to do that to me and I'm going to e-mail my answer to them.
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