Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[VoraciousReader]

I was playing a good player HU at an empty 6m table on Absolute while we waited for it to fill.

Once we had 5 or so, one of the new players got upset after my HU opponent made his/her straight on the river.

New player: All that betting.
NP: Sucked out on the river.
NP: Fish, betting with nothing.

And more along those lines. Other player said something like: "I love it when you talk sweet to me."

Unfortunately, it backfired. The table coach left. And he was really bad at poker, too. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[Bubbles]

I was helping my newbie cousin out by co-observing a no-limit shorthanded $25 table he was playing at. The game was just horrible to watch.

Pot is ~$15 on the flop. Player 1 goes all in for ~$25 with two pair. Player 2 has him covered and calls with a gutshot and hits on the turn.

Player 1: "Good call..."
Player 2: "Thx. I had to call because of the pot odds."

[davebreal]

Wow, that stacking your chips line is pretty funny!

Here's a somewhat entertaining dialogue after one guy check quad aces down to the river, and I walked into a royal flush. I especially like the 3rd party commentary:

Villain 1: XXXX me you can't even slowplay quad aces around here
me: you did have quads, huh?
Villain 1: yes, quad aces
me: thats a horrible beat
Villain 2: not as bad as one i saw in holdem once live
Villain 1: one for the files [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
Villain 2: quad aces lost to Q 3 offsuit, live poker is rigged
Villain 2: dude made a straight flush wheel with the 3
Villain 1: lol
me: unreal

[WDC]

The funniest thing I ever heard while playing was my 11 year old sone calling me a donkey after I bet a flopped set into a fourflush on the river.

[Mike Cuneo]

[ QUOTE ]
The funniest thing I ever heard while playing was my 11 year old sone calling me a donkey after I bet a flopped set into a fourflush on the river.

[/ QUOTE ]

Never too early to start 'em.

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]

The funniest thing I ever heard while playing was my 11 year old sone calling me a donkey after I bet a flopped set into a fourflush on the river.

[/ QUOTE ]


Sounds like your kid should have an online poker account.

[TheCroShow]

I fold like a hooker that got punched in the stomach

[lstream]

This was at 5/10 stud tables. A guy sits down and gets dealt his first hand. He says "why are all of my cards face up?". No one answers him, and the second hand is dealt. He says "I'm new to this - can someone tell me why are all my cards face up?!!!!!!!!!"

I had pity and explained to him that only he could see his down cards. Then the rest of the table started up and started telling him that I was lying and that we really could see his cards. He took off after a few more hands of everyone telling him to fold or call because they could see his cards.

[idrinkcoors]

Playing live in Blackhawk, CO. Table coach in the 3 seat players EVERY SINGLE HAND, then complains about getting beat. After a guy in the 8 seat takes another pot off of him, the table coach says demeaningly, "That is a lucky seat you are in my friend. A lucky seat." The 8 seat says: "Okay, if you will give me $10 bucks, I'll switch seats with you." The table coach shut up for a few minutes after that.

[RatFink]

Guy who has been losing> Man I've been get reamed up the keister all night.

Other guy> And you took a break to play poker??