B&M Cliches

[GambleGamble]

The only thing I ever really do is if someone raises with a big hand I'll say "Man I shoulda called, I had undercards"

Obviously a bad reference to when someone says I had overs.

Ive also heard people say " I was on a pair draw"

[hhughes]

Slow rolling quads is an acceptable reason for that person to get a SKITN...

[Black Aces 518]

I played with an obnoxious guy in Reno (backward hat, shades, g/f sweating) and he would yell "Raisin Bran" every time he raised.

Also, Czechoslovakia when someone checks.

"Junk keeps coming up, so I'm playing junk."

[bhiatt]

The most annoying ones seem to come from the old fish who regularly misplay big PPs and AK.

"Anna Kournakova," one will say solemnly after limping AK UTG, then check-calling a ragged board to the river. "Looks great, but never wins."

Or, "This damn hand never wins for me," after limping QQ, calling down on a 7-high board, then losing to K7 when the river is a king.

Others:

"I had an ace, what was I supposed to do?" after calling a PF raise with A2o, calling down an ace-high board and losing to AK or AQ.

"Yeah, but it was suited," explaining oneself for calling a raise PF with 84s and turning trips.

"I felt it. I knew it was coming," after hanging around with 33 on a board of AKQx, and rivering a set.

[21times20]

[ QUOTE ]

I have one that I use myself, I think it kind of loosens the game up. If anyone steals this without giving credit I will bad beat your soul.
Someoneone will say "You always give me half a hand" or "I always get one card from you." I just say "Look at the same card twice and play accordingly!" Usually gets a laugh from the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

if anyone steals this line from you i'll give you $100

[W. Deranged]

I like:

"I had to play 'em because the low cards are hitting today..."

"Hold'em is a 7 card game."

"The check is in the mail."

[cmurl904]

Oh man sooooo many.....

Aces & spaces, MOTOWN-Jacks & Fives, I was on a _____ draw,
After folding look at the dealer and say "Did you shuffle this deck ?" THE WHEEL, BROADWAY, Someone who folded earlier in the hand turns to someone else when a card comes and says "I folded/had a _____", etc...etc...

[dedenburn]

Entertaining post
Here's a couple...

Two suited cards flop, and the river is a third. AFTER the fifth street bets are called he asks "Does anyone have a flush?" just before smugly showing down his boat. You should be shot for that.

Two players see a flop, one bets and the other folds. The folder asks what the bettor had, and, well you know what comes next....Sorry John, I don't remember. Damn. Wish I would have thought that one up.

[lapoker17]

[ QUOTE ]
I also like when someone bets and everyone with cards calls - "Did anyone call?"


[/ QUOTE ]

i think this is funny every time i hear it.

[Jibbs]

[ QUOTE ]
I also like when someone bets and everyone with cards calls - "Did anyone call?"

[/ QUOTE ]

or turning to the next table and saying - "would anybody on that table like to call this bet also?"