She left me

[Fast Food Knight]

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She may well be saying these things but is really covering up for an affair or the desire to have one. People don't just end a marriage without some other prospect on the horizon, or already in hand.

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Right on. Easy to be in denial about this. Also, regarding

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I don't believe in divorce

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I'm not going to try to debate about or change your beliefs but do consider this: life is SHORT, and so is your youth. How do you think you'll feel when you're 80 and looking back knowing that you did not do everything you could to make yourself and your life as happy as possible? That would be such a complete waste.

Also, such a prevalent feeling in these type of situations is that it's not possible to ever find someone as good for you as this person. This is crap, you owe it to yourself to find someone who is crazy about you. Why waste even a day with someone who isn't?

[DrewDevil]

Practical stuff first: close all accounts, credit cards, etc. that you hold jointly with your wife. Empty them and put them into new accounts that you alone hold. Do this asap, or she will.

Personal now: I've been through a divorce and it was the worst experience of my life, even though I was the one who wanted the divorce. I agree that you should try to avoid it, but remember that you may not be able to avoid it, if she really wants it.

It seems pretty obvious she wants to date & have sex with other guys. Is there any way you could allow this to happen and stay married? Either "take a break from your vows" (both of you) or try having an "open marriage"? I'm not saying this is a good idea, but it might be better than divorce, for both of you.

Edit: Of course, I'm sure most people would rather get divorced than "allow" their spouse to have sex with anyone else.

[dcasper70]

First off, sorry to hear about this. Good luck.

Secondly, and I don't mean to bum you out more, but make sure you are financially and legally prepared for the worst. A little bit of work on your part in regards to shared assets and money, along with a well thought out trip to a lawyer, can help you out a great deal if things progress badly.

I truly hope it doesn't come to that, but just in case, COVER YOUR ASSS!

[poincaraux]

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this post made me sad [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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GL, dude.

Make sure that you set things up so that you can get whatever sort of support you need.

[prohornblower]

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PS Check out astro's thread of Next Door Nikki I you will feel better I promise

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I'm at work but I can't wait to check this out at home. I've never seen NDN naked. Is the thread worth it?

[onthebutton]

I normally like to use OOT to make me feel better about my problems, but in this case I derive no satisfaction from your situation.

I'm really sorry to hear about this, it must be tough. Hang in there, and remember that you deserve something much better. It's hard to realize at the time, but most often, things like this are for the best.

[Aces McGee]

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Also, I don't believe in divorce... I won't let that happen unless we try everything else first.

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Your beliefs are your beliefs and I'm not going to try to change them, but this is the kind of thing that I'd worry about in a situation like this. If you're fighting for the marriage and she isn't, it's going to be even more difficult and painful for you, and it will take you even longer to "recover," so to speak.

-McGee

[NT!]

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PS Check out astro's thread of Next Door Nikki I you will feel better I promise

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I'm at work but I can't wait to check this out at home. I've never seen NDN naked. Is the thread worth it?

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If you really wanna see her naked it delivers, but as far as being actually sexy I thought it was kinda meh.

NT

[Dids]

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1. She is almost certianly cheating on you.


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Yeah, 'cause clearly you have enough information to assume this.

To me "I don't believe in divorce" is basically "I am not a pragmatist" which bothers me.

[Evan]

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this post made me sad [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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I just wanted to point out that quoting this was kind of lame on my part, but I have absolutely no perspective on this situation or any idea what you should do and I felt like replying after I read the OP.