Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[govman6767]

[ QUOTE ]
My 2 roommates and I are playing in a home game. They have a history of going at it head-to-head, and the following ensued:

Both players are fairly short-stacked in a tournament style game.

Preflop:
Josh raises to 5x BB
Keith calls

Flop:
A 5 2

Josh pushes all-in
Keith calls

Josh shows AK
Keith shows 52o and wins with two pair.

The quote?

Josh: "How the hell can you call a preflop raise like that with 52o?"

Keith: "Because God loves me and hates you."

[/ QUOTE ]

Winner

[Lee_C]

Reporting you? What the hell does that mean?

I guess I don't play on-line enough.

[Lee_C]

[ QUOTE ]
(2 players in the hand)
BB goes all in.
CO calls.

BB shows his wonderful nuts.
CO shows dogshit cards.

I ask of CO: "Why'd you call his all-in with nothing?"

CO: "I had position."

[/ QUOTE ]

HeeeeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaawwwwwwwwww

That one wins so far!

[Lee_C]

[ QUOTE ]
The funniest thing I ever heard while playing was my 11 year old sone calling me a donkey after I bet a flopped set into a fourflush on the river.

[/ QUOTE ]

Man, I laughed out loud. I guess because I have a 11 year old son who plays better than most adults and it reminded me so much of him. Says things like "It's tough to bluff me of the nuts dad"

[Lee_C]

[ QUOTE ]
Player 1 calls 3bb raise with KQ suited. Flop KQ4. Player 2 goes all-in another 25bb. Player 1 uses his timer before calling. Player 2 shows A7os. Turn A. River 4.

Player 1: "Good play"

It seems that player 1 understands that he needs his fish to stay in the game to catch his chips back.

That is really funny.
Player 2: "TY"
Player 3: "Are you serious?"
Player 1: "Yeah, he knew the ace and the four were coming."
Player 1: "THAT'S good poker..."

[/ QUOTE ]

[Lee_C]

[ QUOTE ]
I prefer: "This table is tighter than tick pus*sy."

There is always the reliable standby, when you push in a sit-n-go, get called by aces, and crack 'em. When the aces guy moans and groans, you respond: "Next time you call my all-in, you better have a hand."

[/ QUOTE ]

This table is tighter than frog pus sy and man that's water tight!