She left me - Page 2

tuq · #11 07-06-2006, 04:18 PM

GA,

From a 30,000 foot perspective, it sure seems that she is/was cheating on you, at least enough for her to try to justify it in your sessions. And to me it appears that you could be in denial about this.

Flame me if you must, that's just my take from this and the other thread. Either way, good luck, and I agree in the long run you'll be happier with a divorce. I just hope you don't have any kids.

NT! · #12 07-06-2006, 04:19 PM

Sounds like a bummer dude. Don't go quietly in this. She's the one who decided to leave, don't let her push you out of the house or inconvenience you w/r/t work and commuting. I've had breakups like this (albeit not a marriage) and my advice is, beware of the real reasons. She may well be saying these things but is really covering up for an affair or the desire to have one. People don't just end a marriage without some other prospect on the horizon, or already in hand.

Sounds like there's a good chance this can go down in a civilized way, just stand your ground and hang in there. Sorry to hear it.

NT

Georgia Avenue · #13 07-06-2006, 04:19 PM

I may not deserve it but I'm sure my actions had something to do with the degeneration of the relationship. I didn't play poker when we first met, for instance...

Also, I did tell her where to go. I am at the house. I hate it there, but I would be even more f-ked up if I had to stay with my mom or something.

Also, I don't believe in divorce...I thought she didn't either. I won't let that happen unless we try everything else first.

Aces McGee · #14 07-06-2006, 04:21 PM

Sorry to hear about this, man.

I think the most important thing for you to do is to retain some sort of control over the situation. She's the one who left, she's the one who has "fallen out of love with you," and so it's easy for you to say, consciously or unconsciously, "It's up to her, there's nothing I can do." Remind yourself, as often as you have to, that that isn't true. You can't force her to get back together with you, but you can decide when you've waited for her long enough.

-McGee

Georgia Avenue · #15 07-06-2006, 04:22 PM

tuq: At this point I almost wish she was cheating on me...it a hellofalot less depressing than the idea that love just goes to s**t.

jax: LOL.

mrkilla: Too skinny for me. But thanks...

traz · #16 07-06-2006, 04:22 PM

I agree the likelihood of her having cheating on you alread is pretty high, despite not knowing your wife. But really, you're right, it doesn't matter, so it might be best not to think about it.

Really, this woman has said she doesn't feel attracted to you, and has demonstrated for a long time that she's very serious. I think you need to realise that you don't deserve that, no matter how much you love her. You need to get away from her and enjoy just being on your own for awhile. You can't just wait around for her, no good can come of it.

nolanfan34 · #17 07-06-2006, 04:23 PM

The only thing I can say is hang in there. No one can really give you advice in this situation, as you mentioned, because who are we to say what you should do? Nevertheless, from the sounds of your post, your wife has probably already made up her mind, which I know is tough. I sincerely hope you'll be able to pick up and move on.

One thing I learned from my parent's divorce, is that while it was painful and sucked at the time, I think both of them are better off now, years later, because they got out of a situation similar to yours, where they had fallen out of love.

Good luck with your situation, and kudos for airing this out in the open - that takes a lot of strength in and of itself.

Morrek · #18 07-06-2006, 04:23 PM

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[censored] · #19 07-06-2006, 04:26 PM

Sorry you are going through this.

I think you will feel better if somehow you are able to take control and be the one deciding rather than being powerless.

Riverman · #20 07-06-2006, 04:28 PM

1. She is almost certianly cheating on you.

2. I know you don't believe in divorce, but do you really want to spend 40 more years with someone who pulls this garbage? I mean this isn't the kind of thing where you can say "thats just the woman that I love, I accept it." She obviously has no understanding of what it takes to have a healthy marriage and is miles away from the proper perspective.

3. I am sincerely sorry for you and I hope you find happiness regardless of what the outcome is.