B&M Cliches

[ReidDeCardes]

Friday at the Borg:

"I have three pairs"

"I have a suited pair"

They were even less funny after 15 minutes.

I also heard "ATC" for any two cards.

Then there was the guy who told me he had more outs than me on several occasions, and he didn't on every occasion.

I have to confess, when questioned about playing a hand I did say "But they were suited".

TCBIF

[Tom Bayes]

[ QUOTE ]
Three I never get tired of hearing (and wish I heard more):

* How much can I bet?

* Can I raise?

* Oh, I know all about poker ... except ... How does this blinds thing work?

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like every low-stakes limit holdem game I've ever played live. There is always at least one guy who can't figure out the complications of betting in limit holdem because they are either wasted and/or stupid.

I'm not talking about beginners, either. Newbies are nervous, but usually figure it out after an orbit or two. I'm talking about the guy who always tries to check preflop when he's not in a blind, asks the dealer how much he can bet on the flop (it's STILL $4, sir!), and then tries to bet $4 again on the turn and river. God forbid if someone raises or 3-bets this guy. Then he just pushes out chips and waits for the dealer to tell him when he's put out enough for a call.

[Tony.T]

[ QUOTE ]
Play enough live poker and you start to hear so many cliches from table chatter that you wanna just rip your own ears off. A lot of these are 80 year-old stale "jokes" that, amazingly, people still think are funny. Others are just pathetic one-liners that say nothing and simply tell me that the player is a gigantic piece of Samsonite.

Examples:

* When two guys turn over the same hand and chop the pot, one guy (usually the older, nittier one) always has to say, "You play that junk?!" with a knowing wink, indicating to everyone he has a sense of humor -- because, you see, HE played the SAME cards!

* After someone loses a big pot, in the very next hand they raise preflop and say, "Steam raise!" or "Now you guys got me on tilt!" or something like that. Of course this means he has a monster.

* When somebody checkraises, some guy usually trapped in the middle of it has to say, "Chicken raise!" If not, then he will flop nothing in first position and say, "I check and raise" but when somebody bets, he laughs and folds.

* "Cappuccino!"

* When someone has been card-dead for a while, he will usually say, "Hey dealer! Are there any face cards in that deck?!" This is often followed by somebody else saying, "Setup!"

* The one guy not in the hand will see a ragged flop and say, "Give me my cards back!" Then he looks around the table smiling, looking for affirmation of how funny he is.

I had like ten of these in mind when I decided I was going to start this thread, but I forgot some. Anyway, what else ya got?

[/ QUOTE ]

As a dealer, if a new player says something like this you smile to make him feel funny. After all, this is a job based on service. If a regular says it you smile but inside you puke at what a f-ing looser he/she is

This is even more so when it comes to other table games.

[Hass]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm tired of hearing "nice hand".

[/ QUOTE ]

I always say this, but I never mean it.

[PITTM]

when was the last time anyone laughed at a joke made at a poker table?

rj

[MicroBob]

I don't say 'nice hand' normally.
Maybe when there's a 'Wow' type hand like when somebody gets runner-runner quads or whatever. But then I usually just say, 'Wow'.

I don't talk as much poker at the table because it's one topic that most of the players there don't know much about anyway.
I'll talk weather or the game on TV or whatever.

I act like I'm not really listening when somebody tells me their bad-beat stories. And they keep telling me anyway.

But poker is still a dominant topic for conversation obviously and I do still occasionally participate if I'm in the mood.

I have been known to observe that I had a "7 card straight" a couple times. I think those are nifty.

[hime]

[ QUOTE ]

Also, Czechoslovakia when someone checks.


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, it's been Czech Republic since I was in high school . Wasn't the Velvet Divorce in 92?

[private joker]

[ QUOTE ]
when was the last time anyone laughed at a joke made at a poker table?

rj

[/ QUOTE ]

Brag: last night, as a matter of fact. I made a joke that wasn't even very funny, but it got two hearty laughs. A couple guys were jawing at each other for the past 15 minutes, then a hand came up where everyone limped into the pot and we saw the flop 8-handed for one bet. A lady goes, "it's a family pot!" And I said, "Yeah, a dysfunctional family."

[DeuceHigh13]

I'm sure it's been mentioned in this post somewhere, but my newest annoyance is people yelling "one time!"....because they saw it on TV of course.

[aujoz]

1) after some of the moronic calls made in live play: "Well, he had outs on 8th street."

2) when the flop comes three of a kind (QQQ), "Damn, I shouldn't have folded pocket queens."