Dumb jokes you still find hilarious

[El Diablo]

Elephant jokes - I find all these stupid jokes hilarious.

[GambleGamble]

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?




Cuz theres twenty of em

[DoubleDown]

so this old woman came into the clinic 2 weeks ago with a pretty embarassing problem.

'doctor, i've been farting all the time recently, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. in fact, since i've been here, i've farted no less than twenty times. what can i do?'

'here's a prescription ma'am. take these pills three times a day for 2 weeks and then come back to see me.'

2 weeks go by, and the woman marches back in, all in a huff. 'doctor, i dont know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse!! i'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! what do you have to say for yourself?'

'aright now, calm down ma'am ... ... ... now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!'

[cabbagehead7]

I AM SOFA KING

WE TODD DID

[Tha Stunna]

What's the difference between a lawyer and a lamprey?

One of them has extensive knowledge of case law, while the other one is a marine animal.

What do you call a place where a lawyer has been shot?

A murder scene.

What do you call a shark that ate a lawyer?

A carnivore.

Did you hear about the hostage situation? A man took twelve lawyers hostage; the situation is still unresolved.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, as long as they have a ladder.

[Tha Stunna]

Those were the German jokes; here's the originals.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a lamprey?

One is a bloodsucking parasite that drains people of life, the other is just a lamprey.
(You can use leech or vampire or mosquito if you want to, but I like lampreys)



What do you call a place where a lawyer has been shot?

A better place.




What do you call a shark that ate a lawyer?

A hero.




Did you hear about the hostage situation? A man took twelve lawyers hostage and he threatened to release one each hour until his demands were met.




How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to fight his appeal.




A priest is testifying in a courtroom about how he saw a demon in his church. The prosecution lawyer asks him, "And when you entered the church, what did you see?"
The priest says, "I saw a being of indescribable evil, filled with nothing but malice and hatred."
The lawyer replies, "I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. I don't go to church."


I probably should have posted this in reverse order.

[Our House]

GG,

I think Michael Jackson jokes should have their own thread.


Did you hear that MJ called up Boyz II Men?
He thought it was an escort service.


What did MJ say to Lorena Bobbitt?
"Silly Bobbitt, dicks are for kids."


What do MJ and Elton John sing together?
Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.


What's MJ's favorite college?
Bringham Young.


Did you hear that MJ got food poisoning?
He ate a 9-year-old weiner.

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
GG,

I think Michael Jackson jokes should have their own thread.


Did you hear that MJ called up Boyz II Men?
He thought it was an escort service.


What did MJ say to Lorena Bobbitt?
"Silly Bobbitt, dicks are for kids."


What do MJ and Elton John sing together?
Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.


What's MJ's favorite college?
Bringham Young.


Did you hear that MJ got food poisoning?
He ate a 9-year-old weiner.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon...






















...Michael Jackson [censored] little boys.

[woodguy]

How do you know it bedtime at Micheal Jackson's house?























When the big hand touches the little hand.

[FeNeF]

[ QUOTE ]
How do you know it bedtime at Micheal Jackson's house?























When the big hand touches the little hand.

[/ QUOTE ]
Hear about McDonald's new Michael Jackson burger?

Forty year old meat between eight year old buns!