Dumb jokes you still find hilarious

[Big_Jim]

What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?

Dam.


What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with one leg?
Steak (stake)

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-Tip

What do you call a cow with four legs?
Cow.

[Big_Jim]

Two guys are in the locker room when one guy looks over at the other and notices that he has a cork stuck in his ass.

A bit confused, the guy asks, "Dude... wtf? Why is there a cork in your ass?"

"One day, I was walking along the beach, when I tripped on this lamp," the guy explains. "I rubbed on it and a genie popped out!"

"He told me that he would give me one wish for freeing him from the lamp. To which I replied, 'No sh!t?!?' "

[BobOjedaFan]

I'm sure everyone knows the Highway to Hawaii joke, should I bother?, hehe

[Big_Jim]

A small man walks into a doctor's office, shaking, panicing, and obviously very upset.

He explains to the doc, "I don't know what to do, doctor! Every day I just seem to get smaller and smaller! What can I do?"

The doctor thinks for a bit, and says, "You're going to have to be a little patient."

[BobOjedaFan]

I will bother....

A man walking on the beach finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp and out pops the genie....

Genie: For freeing me from this lamp you shall recieve one wish.

Man: I love the state of Hawaii, but I am afraid of flying, so I would like you to build a Highway to Hawaii.

Genie: The maintenance of such a structure will require enormous manpower. Also, it will be difficult to explain the emergence of such a structure, I'm not sure your government would even maintain it, this is a risky proposition. Are you absolutely sure there isn't anythign else you'd want instead.

Man: Well, I've always wanted to learn how women think, and to understand them completely.

Genie: 2 lanes or 4?

[SoSo]

For all your stationary needs goto - Pen Island.

[Mike Haven]

So this car driver gives a lift to a beautiful girl hitchhiker.

After a while she starts getting fresh and she unzips him and starts playing with it as they drive along.

Suddenly, she whips out a knife, cuts it off with one slash, and throws it out the window!

And the lady in the car behind turns to her husband and says, "Wow! That fly had a big dick!"

[Rev. Good Will]

[ QUOTE ]

-20 lemmings walk into a bar. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

[/ QUOTE ]

did anybody else count out the number of ouches?

[TTChamp]

[ QUOTE ]
Quote:
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Edited because your mom's an idiot


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FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what she said

[Ron Burgundy]

How did the blonde terrorist die?

When she tried to blow up a bus by putting her mouth on the tailpipe.