Optimal number of friends

[eMbAh]

0 obviously, it works great for me

[Hey_Porter]

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what is a friend and what is a friendly acquaintance / drinking buddy or whatever? i think of a friend as somebody who i would be pissed at if they missed my birthday party without something else going on. whereas a buddy or acquaintance or whatever would probably just mean anyone that i would invite.

i have a lot of friends in places where i used to live who i try to see every time i'm there, but we may go six months or a year without speaking if i don't visit.

in terms of real friends in the place where i currently live i probably have no more than three or four, plus my girlfriend. i would have more but i don't like it here and i live really far away from everyone else in NYC. nobody is going to come up to the top of washington heights to see my bum ass.

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Yea, have we had an actual clarification on what the OP means? Related to this post, I was pretty much forced to figure out who my FRIENDS as opposed to fun acquaintances were when I got married. Smaller wedding, so I was forced to figure out who was dispensable. I was lucky that the line was pretty easy to draw, and there were maybe only a couple who would have felt left out, and that's iffy.

[SEABEAST]

i have pretty distinct different spheres of my personality and sort of have different friends for each.

like for poker i have 3-4 close friends and then maybe 15-20 guys i enjoy talking to about hands or catching up with now and then.

for music i have about the same, but more acquaintances there because i'm much more interested in people i casually know through music than poker.

and then i kind of have this pathological need to be friends with girls (yeah yeah) so i have 3-4 close female friends (including 2 exes). so overall i would say i have about 15-20 genuine friends where i would be devastated if they weren't at my wedding or whatever, or if i don't see them for a while i miss them. then i dunno, maybe 50 people i really like and have fun drinking with from time to time if i see them but if they were no longer in my life it wouldn't leave a hole.

[istewart]

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but i don't like it here and i live really far away from everyone else in NYC. nobody is going to come up to the top of washington heights to see my bum ass.

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lol

[Dids]

I have one very close friend. Between him and family I can't imagine having more than like 2 more (for a total of 6) people in which I invest that level of emotional capital.

I have lots of other friends that I probably care to much about, but not so much that I can't turn off that caring pretty easy if they piss me off.

[XXXNoahXXX]

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I have one very close friend. Between him and family I can't imagine having more than like 2 more (for a total of 6) people in which I invest that level of emotional capital.

I have lots of other friends that I probably care to much about, but not so much that I can't turn off that caring pretty easy if they piss me off.

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[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] u 2.

[Badger]

I've typically had 3-5 very good friends. Time and geographical distance has caused this group to change a couple times. I still consider these people "best" friends but I live over 1000 miles away from most of them, and have about 10 really good friends that I keep up with.

Over the past year or so my 3 of my 4 best friends have all moved away from Austin. My life is totally different right now that my friend group is filled with acquaintances/buddies instead of close friends.

[Aloysius]

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Some people need dozens of friends to say "Hey look at me, I'm popular!" But not me, I'm very picky. I need three, maybe two.

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lol - how did people miss the sarcasm in this post?

DaveR - if you haven't read this think you may find it interesting:

Somewhat Related Study on Avg. Number of Close Friends - Vindication of "Bowling Alone"

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A major national survey being released today shows that the average number of people with whom Americans discuss important matters has dropped from three to two in just two decades. The study is a vindication for the Harvard author of "Bowling Alone," Robert D. Putnam, who published a similar theory six years ago based on trends from the decline of dinner parties to lower voter turnout and falling participation in bowling leagues

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The authors found that fully one-quarter of Americans say they have no one with whom to discuss their most important personal business.

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-Al

[tuq]

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My reasons for having a large number of friends is not for what most of you here would attack it for

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this is not being conceited, Im being serious, and go ahead and attack it, if you knew me you would understand what I meant and I dont have time to defend it nor explain it right now

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Let the attack peach comments commence....

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Yeah, it's obviously everyone else who makes these threads all about you, you aren't guilty at all. W.T.F.

There is an old question about (paraphrasing) "if you could have a good number of friends with whom you weren't particularly close, or one single friend with whom you could confide your innermost secrets, which would you choose?" The correct answer differs from one person to the next.

I fall in the former category, because I have varying interests but on top of this I don't like spending too much time around any one person or I tend to get annoyed by their idiosyncrasies (no doubt they feel the same way about me). Also, I value alone time, so by not getting particularly attached to anyone I am able to set my schedule as I please.

Message boards, by the way, are an unintentionally perfect way to interact with others on our terms. We can come and go as we please while partaking in many of the things that make up a real-life relationship - arguments, laughs, etc.

[traz]

I have 2-3 people who I am very close to and 6-7 others who I consider to be very good friends, but the bond/intimacy isn't the same. Then I have like 10-15 others who are my friends and I have a good time with, but we're not super close. They'll all be invited to my wedding duh