worst sexual experience you've ever had

[longhair]

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None of my sexual experiences are too bad. I let the girls know upfront.. "It's a race baby, and I plan on winning!"

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heh, made me laugh.

when i was 16 i passed out on top of a girl with my pants down around my knees. not overly bad in itself, but we were in a tent and unbeknownst to me the tent flaps were open and one of my buddies poked his head in the tent. he was sleeping in the tent too and cracked the shtts because we were on his matress and sleeping bag, so he alerted the entire campsite (about 150 drunk 16y/olds, was a music festival) as to my situation. now, my ass can be found all over the intrawebs.

btw, grey's story is so fricken awesome.

[jmremote]

Not sure about the worst but my best is at college me and my buddy pick up 2 girls at the local bar. We go back to our place and the girls start being kinda lame, not wanting to do anything. Me and my buddy decide that its time for some old school nintendo, dr mario. 20 mins into the kick ass game and the girls start to complain they are bored. I jokingly suggest to them to start giving us head. To my suprise they agree. Playing old school nintendo while getting head, cant beat that.

[jh12547]

Maybe not the worst but definitely my scariest. First serious GF i had and we were both 15 yr olds. Her Mother normal looking but father was your typical hick. Looked alot like hillbilly jim the wrestler from back in the 80s. He had his own gun rack with 4 or 5 shotguns in it sitting in the living room next to him and 2 or 3 dead deer carcasses draining blood out in his barn.
Anyhow the two of us and her parents were watching TV in the living room. Its getting late and her mom says she was going to bed. Meanwhile dad has fallen asleep in the chair about 6 feet from where we were laying on the couch. GF and I start kissing heavily when out of nowhere underneath the blanket she sticks her hand down my pants. Really unexpected as we were both virgins and we never talked about sex too much. Didnt know if i was more nervous about this being the first sex act i will get thats not from myself and or the fact that her dad is 6 ft away in the same room asleep. After a few minutes of her playing with it she says relax and starts to suck on it. All underneath the blanket. It didnt take long and i was ready to let go. A tiny bit got in her mouth but most of it shot all over my chest and stomach. I was just going to use the blanket to wipe it up but she says wait this is my moms favorite. Ill be right back with a towel. Againn trying to be quiet and not wake up dad. Well im sitting there with my pants down to my ankles and my hands holding up my t shirt trying not to get Jizz on either that or the blanket and get a suprise when the old man wakes up. He starts having a routine conversation with me for like 10 mins while my GF was too scared to come back in the LR with a towel or anything. He then says its getting late and i should go. I somehow get my pants up without him noticing but i now have a big Jizz stain on my shirt. She walks me out to the car and i drive home with jizz stuck to me.
Needless to say every other BJ i got from her i sure as hell made sure her dad wasnt around.

[Foucault]

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Maybe not the worst but definitely my scariest. First serious GF i had and we were both 15 yr olds. Her Mother normal looking but father was your typical hick. Looked alot like hillbilly jim the wrestler from back in the 80s. He had his own gun rack with 4 or 5 shotguns in it sitting in the living room next to him and 2 or 3 dead deer carcasses draining blood out in his barn.
Anyhow the two of us and her parents were watching TV in the living room. Its getting late and her mom says she was going to bed. Meanwhile dad has fallen asleep in the chair about 6 feet from where we were laying on the couch. GF and I start kissing heavily when out of nowhere underneath the blanket she sticks her hand down my pants. Really unexpected as we were both virgins and we never talked about sex too much. Didnt know if i was more nervous about this being the first sex act i will get thats not from myself and or the fact that her dad is 6 ft away in the same room asleep. After a few minutes of her playing with it she says relax and starts to suck on it. All underneath the blanket. It didnt take long and i was ready to let go. A tiny bit got in her mouth but most of it shot all over my chest and stomach. I was just going to use the blanket to wipe it up but she says wait this is my moms favorite. Ill be right back with a towel. Againn trying to be quiet and not wake up dad. Well im sitting there with my pants down to my ankles and my hands holding up my t shirt trying not to get Jizz on either that or the blanket and get a suprise when the old man wakes up. He starts having a routine conversation with me for like 10 mins while my GF was too scared to come back in the LR with a towel or anything. He then says its getting late and i should go. I somehow get my pants up without him noticing but i now have a big Jizz stain on my shirt. She walks me out to the car and i drive home with jizz stuck to me.
Needless to say every other BJ i got from her i sure as hell made sure her dad wasnt around.

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Awesome story.

[likeyoustoleit]

When i was 19 i was breaking in my girlfriend. She was a virgin obv and it was so damn tight.
I ended up tearing my banjo string it was bleeding and all. It was painful.

Hittin virgins sucks. Experience goes a long way

[Chump Change]

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I really have my doubts that BTYS has ever kissed a girl. I mean this guy is off of 2+2 like 3 hours of the day, come on dude.

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What does one thing have to do with the other? I'm on 2p2 like 10 hrs a day and half that time I got at least 2 bitches strate suckin my dick. Multitask bitch.

[fslexcduck]

my worst experience is when i meet a random townie girl in a bar in new haven (SHE introduced herself to ME btw, this is important for the story)... she was pretty [censored] stupid and i now have a policy against stupid girls but i didn't then and she was sort of cute (not cute enough but i was wasted). we're dancing, start making out in bar, etc. i'm pretty drunk and so is she, so her friend drives us back to her place and i have no idea where it is.

anyway fast forward to we're in bed, i basically [censored] her, go to town on her, etc... she gets off. then does the standard roll over i guess talk for a couple minutes before going at it again (read: MY turn to get off) when she says "you know i've only slept with a girl once and i didn't really like it." so i'm like uhhhh ok but now you do? anyway she tells me a bit about it blah blah blah and then just goes to sleep. so i'm like ok wtf this is horrible and awkward. after like an hour of lying awake praying she doesn't wake up too, i go to sleep too and then wake up at 5am when she gets up to go sleep on the couch. i wake up again at like 8am, sneak out of the house through the back window, figure out where the [censored] i am, and walk the 6 miles or so back to campus with a retardedly bad hangover.

[Asheh]

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Maybe not the worst but definitely my scariest. First serious GF i had and we were both 15 yr olds. Her Mother normal looking but father was your typical hick. Looked alot like hillbilly jim the wrestler from back in the 80s. He had his own gun rack with 4 or 5 shotguns in it sitting in the living room next to him and 2 or 3 dead deer carcasses draining blood out in his barn.
Anyhow the two of us and her parents were watching TV in the living room. Its getting late and her mom says she was going to bed. Meanwhile dad has fallen asleep in the chair about 6 feet from where we were laying on the couch. GF and I start kissing heavily when out of nowhere underneath the blanket she sticks her hand down my pants. Really unexpected as we were both virgins and we never talked about sex too much. Didnt know if i was more nervous about this being the first sex act i will get thats not from myself and or the fact that her dad is 6 ft away in the same room asleep. After a few minutes of her playing with it she says relax and starts to suck on it. All underneath the blanket. It didnt take long and i was ready to let go. A tiny bit got in her mouth but most of it shot all over my chest and stomach. I was just going to use the blanket to wipe it up but she says wait this is my moms favorite. Ill be right back with a towel. Againn trying to be quiet and not wake up dad. Well im sitting there with my pants down to my ankles and my hands holding up my t shirt trying not to get Jizz on either that or the blanket and get a suprise when the old man wakes up. He starts having a routine conversation with me for like 10 mins while my GF was too scared to come back in the LR with a towel or anything. He then says its getting late and i should go. I somehow get my pants up without him noticing but i now have a big Jizz stain on my shirt. She walks me out to the car and i drive home with jizz stuck to me.
Needless to say every other BJ i got from her i sure as hell made sure her dad wasnt around.

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Awesome story.

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lmao

[Gonso]

The worst thing about this thread was that I have had incidents comparable to at least four posts in this thread.

No STD, no babies, but some pretty [censored] up [censored]. Stationed near Fairbanks, Alaska 95-99, and know what it's like to go body sledding on a tundra wookie. Definitely nastiest thing ever.

[The B]

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I still have the best, but you will never hear it. Hahahaha.


Actually, it's not that great, but I'm a prude so it really grosses me out to think about it.

Cliff's notes:

-I drive 3 hours to [censored] an internet girl who ends up being 5 years older than her picture.
-She has floppy [censored]
-She has a jungle downstairs (which grosses me out a little)
-We have terrrrrible chemistry in the half hour we spent together pre-sex.
-She reveals she's on her period (which absolutely disgusts me) but I soldier on since I drove 3 [censored] hours.
-I find out her baby is sleeping in a crib right next to her bed which we are [censored] in. Put this together with the previous point, and I have to reaaaally concentrate on happy thoughts to maintain a 75% erection.
-She pisses on my hand.
-I nearly puke, and drive 3 hours home with piss on my hand and blood on my dick.

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