Approaching an Alcoholic

___ · #1 03-01-2006, 01:34 PM

I know that I could probably just google it up and get similar information, but I want to hear different perspectives in the same thread. There's a level of quality I appreciate here too.

My friend is an alcoholic. I don't know when it started exactly. We've known each other for 3-4 years, and we met through our party lifestyle. But back then drinking was more of a weekend thing, or when there was a great clubnight to go to. Now it's every night for him.

When we chat he tells me what he's been up to, and every story includes how much he drank that night. It's always, "I went to ____ bar and drank ____ [which is always enough to knock me out]." Repeat times 7 for every night of the week, though sometimes he drinks at a house instead of a bar. It's starting to be sad, because he doesn't seem to have any close friends anymore, just clubbers he drinks his pints with. He still does fine at work (he seems to get a raises or promoted 2-3 times a year), but he's been "joking" about drinking at work lately too. So while he's functional, I worry about his health and long term ability to maintain this lifestyle.

How can I approach him about it? Are his constant mentions of how much he drinks a veiled cry for help? Can and should I do anything? Do you have any other advice that I should have asked for but didn't?

Thanks.

BUD · #2 03-01-2006, 01:38 PM

Do you or does he know anyone that you respect that is a member of AA? This a difficult thing, many people die before they will accept any help. It would be ideal to leave it to experienced members of AA.
Sincerely
Bud

theweatherman · #3 03-01-2006, 03:49 PM

He doesnt sound like an alchoholic to me. I've met a few and the best way to describe them is spun. A faraway look in thier eyes, a beer in their hands. Binge drinking 7 days a week is not the same as being an alcoholic, albeit on the track to becoming one. If it isnt affecting his life/job it doesnt seem likethatbig a deal.

SmileyEH · #4 03-01-2006, 04:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
He doesnt sound like an alchoholic to me. I've met a few and the best way to describe them is spun. A faraway look in thier eyes, a beer in their hands. Binge drinking 7 days a week is not the same as being an alcoholic, albeit on the track to becoming one. If it isnt affecting his life/job it doesnt seem likethatbig a deal.

[/ QUOTE ]

R U serious?

-SmileyEH

Riverman · #5 03-01-2006, 05:21 PM

I know a good number of people who blackout multiple times per week who are very responsible / successful. Some people can handle it, others can't. In this case it seems like the person in question could stand to tone it down, but I don't get the impression he is f'ing up his life.

galahad_187 · #6 03-01-2006, 05:51 PM

i get a buzz/drunk almost everynight either alone playing CS (highly recommended, btw) or with friends playing poker/halo but i hardly consider myself an alcoholic, and neither do the people around me, although almost all of them would say i drink too much.

I told them if my drinking ever gets in the way of any normal responsibility then i am becoming an alcoholic and to stop me.

Thus, if drinking ever gets in the way of your friend's working - then i'd stop him.

wall_st · #7 03-02-2006, 02:55 AM

[ QUOTE ]
i get a buzz/drunk almost everynight either alone playing CS (highly recommended, btw) or with friends playing poker/halo but i hardly consider myself an alcoholic, and neither do the people around me, although almost all of them would say i drink too much.

I told them if my drinking ever gets in the way of any normal responsibility then i am becoming an alcoholic and to stop me.

Thus, if drinking ever gets in the way of your friend's working - then i'd stop him.

[/ QUOTE ]

You drink alone almost every night and don't think you are an alcoholic ? You are a functioning alcoholic in denial.

wall_st · #8 03-02-2006, 03:00 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I know a good number of people who blackout multiple times per week who are very responsible / successful. Some people can handle it, others can't. In this case it seems like the person in question could stand to tone it down, but I don't get the impression he is f'ing up his life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea because binge drinking has no negative health consequences in the short or long term.

chesspain · #9 03-02-2006, 08:12 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I know a good number of people who blackout multiple times per week who are very responsible / successful. Some people can handle it, others can't. In this case it seems like the person in question could stand to tone it down, but I don't get the impression he is f'ing up his life.

[/ QUOTE ]

It consider it quite a feat to fit so many silly and contradictory thoughts into such a compact paragraph.

kyzerjose · #10 03-02-2006, 10:12 AM

Sad to say, approaching your friend now isn't likely to do much good. They may appreciate your comments. They may tell you to [censored] off.
Drunks are a pretty resilient lot. As long as they are able to function well in a majority of life skills (Work, health, finance etc.) they continue to drink. Usually the last barrier is the ability, or should I say lack of ability, to earn a living. When that goes, well the supply is shut down and they MAY decide to do something about it.
OR not. The drunk may take a low paying job to pay for their habit. They're just another form of drug addict.
Most relapse after they quit. It's a bitch of a disease.
There may be underlying mental health issues. Depression, while not directly linked to alcoholism, is frequently found in many addicts.
I finally quit using (10+ years ago)when it dawned on me that I was a flaming idiot when I was sober & straight. The crap was really messing up my whole thought processs. But...... I was still performing well at work. Man it was a real effort.
So now I'm clean and sober but addicted to poker. How about that. Not really a surprise though. An addict is an addict is an addict.
At least I'm a whole lot happier now.